Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Weird to go to a concert/holiday with 16 year old daughter?

468 replies

RedLines · 26/01/2023 09:56

I am a father of 4 and only my youngest is at home.
Divorced and have my 16 year old daughter half the time.
I have taken her to a couple of concerts - Billy Eilish etc and have just bought a couple of tickets for another concert, at her request.

My new partner of over a year is very put out by this and thinks it is wierd and unhealthy for a father to be taking his daughter to a concert.

Similarly, I have an interest in a house in Spain and last year went to Spain to the house with her for a fortnight, the other kids were busy and didn't come or there was only a couple of days overlap with my eldest daughter.

My partner thinks that it is really weird that a father goes on holiday alone with his daughter.
For context this is a house that has been in the family for 40 years and has 4 bedrooms and two bathrooms and has been a holiday destination every year for all of the family.

I am blindsided by the position taken by my partner!

Can I ask if

1.) It is unusual or wierd for a father to go to a music concert with his 16 year old daughter

2.)It is unusual or wierd for a father to go on holiday with his 16 year old daughter (she was 15 last summer)

OP posts:
Needanewnamebeingwatched · 26/01/2023 13:38

What if your wife had passed away, would you never be allowed to take your children on your own ever again.

She is weird and jealous

Drfosters · 26/01/2023 13:38

OMG - not weird at all!!!

  1. I was counting the days until I could take my son to concerts . I have a few booked in for this year. I plan to go with him until I am 110 and they can’t wheel me in any longer. You are a super cool dad who shares an interest with his daughter. Things like that are where you can chat and get to know what is on her mind while having an awesome experience.

  2. you are her dad. You are a fab dad. Lucky her to get to go away with you. What is wrong with people? I would have zero issues with my husband travelling with our daughter. They would have a great time.

DaVariance · 26/01/2023 13:41

Not weird

Ditch your GF

ShandaLear · 26/01/2023 13:41

My DP took my DD16 to see Biffy Clyro a few weeks ago and she isn’t even his daughter. They wanted to go, I couldn’t. Absolutely no big deal.

crosspusscrossstitcher · 26/01/2023 13:43

I wish I could go to the pub with my dad...

PaperMonster · 26/01/2023 13:46

Your partner is the weird one!

Beck2023 · 26/01/2023 13:48

Definitely not weird. It’s really lovely and healthy that you have a strong bond with your daughter. It’s great she wants to spend time with you.

I would suspect your partner is jealous of this relationship for whatever reason and maybe she isn’t the person for you.

(I would worry she will try to isolate you from your children).

Allywill · 26/01/2023 13:50

my husband took our 14 and 16 year daughters to a guns n roses concert and has many times taken one or both of them to several others. he also once went to a festival with our eldest and her best friend when they were 16 because i was v nervous about them going alone. he took a separate tent and pitched a little way away from them. i don’t think he liked it much (he said it made him feel very old!) but it meant i was placated and i was very grateful. of course it’s not weird at all to go to concerts or on holiday with your daughter and she is odd to suggest it is. being generous maybe she didn’t have that kind of relationship with her father growing up, being less generous maybe she is jealous and wants you to spend less time with your daughter. you will have to decide which and act accordingly.

BaggieMaggie · 26/01/2023 13:51

Not weird at all. I recently took my mum and dad on holiday with me and dc. It was awesome as my mum doesn't drink so she was happy to sit in with dc in evenings whilst my dad and I went out drinking!!! Honestly one of the best holidays I’ve had for ages. I also got my dad tickets to see The Eagles a few years back and he took me with him. When dc were young, my dad dropped to part time so he would often come on days out with us. When I was a teen, he took me to America, just me and him, because my older brother and sister had moved out. We’re close and enjoy spending time together.

afinishedkiss · 26/01/2023 13:53

I think this is very sad, she must be a very narrow minded and jealous person to have such a skewed vision of something so lovely between you an your daughter.

Get rid of her pronto.

Schoolchoicesucks · 26/01/2023 13:53

Not weird, make the most of it while she wants to hang out with you. Maybe let her invite a friend along to prolong the time she's happy to do things with you.

Does your partner have kids? Does she get on with your daughter? Is she happy to hang out with you both? She sounds resentful of your relationship and the time you spend with your daughter. Not sure how long I'd put up with that for.

Livinginanotherworld · 26/01/2023 13:55

I’d be dumping a partner like that !

TerfOnATrain · 26/01/2023 13:56

792 votes and 100% agree with you OP.

Hongkongsuey · 26/01/2023 13:56

You sound like a lovely father. Carry on enjoying your close relationship with your youngest and maybe consider if your partner is the weird one for suggesting there’s anything strange about it.

courgettigreensadwater · 26/01/2023 13:58

Bonjovispyjamas · 26/01/2023 10:03

Your partner is the weird one. Get rid before she comes between you and your daughter.

This. It would be such a shame if she did get between you when you seem to have such a nice relationship with your daughter. My 18 and 16 year old DS both still want to come on family holidays and I think it's lovely as at this age they can really go off you and that sort of thing! Not exactly the same but you know what I mean. Make the most of it.

tangerinenightmare · 26/01/2023 14:00

Not weird at all. DH has a teen DD and they often go out for dinner, trips away etc just the two of them, I barely ever go!

Mummato3monkeys · 26/01/2023 14:01

You ANBU, it is certainly not weird and what a great relationship you have with your daughter!! Ask your partner why she thinks it is weird, she and her family & friends may have had a very different upbringing! If she can’t explain why she is feeling this way then it’s a red flag for sure, however it may open up doors for you both to understand each other a little more. You just keep up the fab relationship with your daughter whatever the outcome :)

StillWantingADog · 26/01/2023 14:01

well as a child I went on many many holidays with my dad only (my mum wasn't a good traveller). He also took me to new kids on the block once (yes that's how old I am). It has never occured to me that it was odd.

Your partner is being V unreasonable

Devilou666 · 26/01/2023 14:02

You have what sounds like a beautiful father daughter relationship.
Your partner sounds like a bunny boiler.

StillWantingADog · 26/01/2023 14:02

wow as an aside I don't think I've ever seen such a unanimous YANBU with that many votes

Onwayoutsoon · 26/01/2023 14:03

Cocolapew · 26/01/2023 09:57

You need to dump your partner.
Of course its not weird.

My very first thought !

SparklestheUnicorn · 26/01/2023 14:03

My partner has a daughter the same age as yours and he takes her away twice a year on his own. Has done since she was 2.

I have 3 DC and take them away on my own as well as each one individually for a weekend through the year.

We have one holiday the 6 of us.

Parent and child time, however it’s made up/ whatever age the children are, is so important.

JazzHandsYeah · 26/01/2023 14:08

I wish my dad was like you, I was kicked out at 15 once he married the new wife, and have never had much of a relationship with him since.

You sound like a wonderful father, your girlfriend is the weird one suggesting that time spent with your daughter is odd. Your GF is the odd one. You can do so much better and your daughter is super lucky to have you.

ScatteredMama82 · 26/01/2023 14:10

Do not pay any attention to your partner's opinion on this. I'm on only child and my lovely mum died when I was just 20. I spent so much time just me and my Dad after that, we even went on holiday together. He was my best friend, he died 9 years after her. I treasure those memories, your daughter is very lucky to have you.

thestepmumspacepodcast · 26/01/2023 14:11

No, you are not weird.

It's lovely to spend time 1:1 with your daughter. I have lovely memories of a weekend trip to Paris as a teen with my Dad.

I imagine there's a backstory here with your partner.... might be worth exploring what her relationship was like with the adults around her when she was a child.

Likewise what is your partner's relationship like with your daughter?

Do you go away with your partner?