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Original poster

To expect MIL to put some pyjama bottoms on on?

443 replies

BillHadersNewWife · 25/01/2023 13:07

I genuinely don't know. I had a thread about her staying with us the other day...she's 75 and has sold her house and is meant to be looking for another. She goes to bed but then gets up a few times...normal things...back and to the kitchen for a drink or to the bathroom whatever. Bur she's always wearing a t shirt and knickers...and it's not a long nightie type t shirt but one that just sits above her knickers.

I find this so...invasive or something. I just dont want to see MIL in her knickers. However...I am admittedly a bit of a prude sometimes.

Should I say something or not? Jokingly maybe?

OP posts:
MiddleParking · 26/01/2023 19:50

SicParvisMagna · 26/01/2023 19:04

The prudish almost puritanical attitude we have towards the naked or near-naked human body in this country is puzzling to me. But then I grew up in a house where nakedness wasn't deemed gross or repulsive. So have my kids but, as a case in point, my 12 year old DS mentioned at school that I sometimes pat my sons bum after he's had a shower if he walks past and now his friends are telling him I'm a paedophile which is incredibly upsetting. I don't seek him out, my son feels comfortable enough to not feel the need to cover up. I've always said to him (regarding my own predisposition to wander around naked when getting dressed/pre-shower etc or sleeping naked) that if it makes him feel uncomfortable I should stop immediately. Honestly, I've grown up with far fewer body hangups than my peers who never saw their parents naked.

And why the bloody hell if it makes you so uncomfortable, cant you just say something? You've a tongue in your head haven't you?

Poor kid Sad

DNBU · 26/01/2023 19:56

Some of these comments - ‘grim’/vomit face

Let the woman live fgs, she’s hardly walking around nude

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 26/01/2023 19:56

NerdyBird1 · 26/01/2023 19:44

No it's not.

Show quote history

Course it is.

musingsinmidlife · 26/01/2023 19:58

This board is good for a laugh. One thread is I would never go to the middle eas where they make women cover up and this thread is Dear MIL, I have provided a dessing gown to be sure that nothing other than your ankles or wrists ever show in our home. We are uncomfortable with your lack of modesty and seeing your legs and arms. Please cover up.

Gagaandgag · 26/01/2023 19:58

Really wouldn’t bother me! What about if she went swimming?! Wouldn’t it be similar

NerdyBird1 · 26/01/2023 20:00

@AllThingsServeTheBeam not wanting people walking naked in your house makes you hate yourself? How? That's not body shaming is just common decency in someone's house.

DIL doesn't like me being in my knickers at the dinner table, must be because my bum is too wobbly?

How????

NerdyBird1 · 26/01/2023 20:01

I don't know why I even bothered writing a reply it's just a nonsensical point for anyone to make.

PontifiKaty · 26/01/2023 20:06

As a mother of (only) boys, this thread makes me a bit sad that this sneery future is what I’ve likely got ahead of me.

Shudahaddogs · 26/01/2023 20:07

CalistoNoSolo · 25/01/2023 13:12

That's grim, and I'd find it grim for anyone to do it over the age of 10. Tell her to put a dressing gown on fgs.

In a nutshell

KatysMumJen · 26/01/2023 20:07

NerdyBird1 · 26/01/2023 19:44

No it's not.

Show quote history

It absolutely is.
I see quite a lot of internalised misogyny coming from a lot of women on this thread.
A fair bit of ageism too.
Sad times when a woman of 75 is criticised for being liberated enough to be comfortable in a pair of knickers and a T shirt.

EllieRosesMammy · 26/01/2023 20:08

Is your husband okay seeing his mam in her pants? Because I know mine would definetely have something to say if his mam thought it was appropriate to walk around in front of us in her underwear... Nevermind in a house that isn't hers 😐

KatysMumJen · 26/01/2023 20:09

She’s not naked @NerdyBird1
Far from it in fact.
It’s your insecurities that are making you feel so offended.

NerdyBird1 · 26/01/2023 20:12

KatysMumJen · 26/01/2023 20:09

She’s not naked @NerdyBird1
Far from it in fact.
It’s your insecurities that are making you feel so offended.

What are you talking about? I never mentioned nakedness. And it's a bit pathetic to throw in that the hundred odd posters who disagree are all misogynistic because they have different norms to you.

Maybe you're upset and realising your behaviour is bizarre, MIL.

AnnieSnap · 26/01/2023 20:17

It’s your house and of course you have a right to be comfortable, so say something if it’s important to you. No doubt she will internally roll her eyes. I know I would! It sounds like you are pretty inhibited though. She is an old woman and mostly covered-up. I don’t get the problem, but each to their own.

Monster80 · 26/01/2023 20:17

Sounds like you need to buy her a ‘welcome to the house’ dressing gown and insist its worn unless you are out. Gross.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 26/01/2023 20:18

Gwenhwyfar · 26/01/2023 18:26

Very impolite. Guests should be decent.

(I'm a bit torn about women having no bra on if they do still have clothes on, depends whether the lack of bra means they're no longer decent).

Christ almighty.

SicParvisMagna · 26/01/2023 20:24

MiddleParking · 26/01/2023 19:50

Poor kid Sad

Show quote history

As in because of what his friends have said or because nakedness isn't an issue to us? I truly hope the first.

runlittlemonster · 26/01/2023 20:26

Good on MIL for her body confidence, but if she’s walking around the kitchen like that I’d just be concerned about something short and curly ending up in my museli!
At 75 I doubt she’s going for a full Hollywood every fortnight.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 26/01/2023 20:26

NerdyBird1 · 26/01/2023 20:00

@AllThingsServeTheBeam not wanting people walking naked in your house makes you hate yourself? How? That's not body shaming is just common decency in someone's house.

DIL doesn't like me being in my knickers at the dinner table, must be because my bum is too wobbly?

How????

I was talking about the prudishness. who is walking naked around ops house?

For one I'm glad my son's are comfortable with me and dp undressed. They won't think that bodies all look like they do on insta.

Gwenhwyfar · 26/01/2023 20:28

"She is an old woman and mostly covered-up."

Oh come on, going around in a top and knickers is not 'mostly covered up'. It's how you dress only with people who are happy for you to dress that way. Otherwise, dress decently.

KatysMumJen · 26/01/2023 20:28

NerdyBird1 · 26/01/2023 20:00

@AllThingsServeTheBeam not wanting people walking naked in your house makes you hate yourself? How? That's not body shaming is just common decency in someone's house.

DIL doesn't like me being in my knickers at the dinner table, must be because my bum is too wobbly?

How????

You mention nakedness here @NerdyBird1
I’m very comfortable in my body and I think it’s great that OP’s MIL is too.
If that’s bizarre to you then cool.
Your pointed tone

KatysMumJen · 26/01/2023 20:29

Is very telling @NerdyBird1

Gwenhwyfar · 26/01/2023 20:30

"Sad times when a woman of 75 is criticised for being liberated enough to be comfortable in a pair of knickers and a T shirt."

I don't see what's liberating about imposing your near nudity on other people.
It's rude rather than liberated.
And not everything is about your own comfort when there are other people involved.

BTMadmummy · 26/01/2023 20:30

Omg you are not being unreasonable

KatysMumJen · 26/01/2023 20:31

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 26/01/2023 20:26

I was talking about the prudishness. who is walking naked around ops house?

For one I'm glad my son's are comfortable with me and dp undressed. They won't think that bodies all look like they do on insta.

Show quote history

Exactly this @AllThingsServeTheBeam we should be comfortable in our own skin and I’ve passed this onto my daughter too 🙏