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AIBU?

To not want other people using our caravan?

330 replies

Serialcatmum · 23/01/2023 22:19

Ok, by other people I mean my sister in law.

We recently purchased a caravan, we were going to go for a smaller one but decided to treat ourselves to a bigger one to give us more space. When I told SIL she said “oh I had my fingers crossed you’d go for the bigger one as then we can maybe use it some weekends too?!” It was sort of a question, sort of a statement. I laughed and said “oh we’ve not even planned our first trip yet”. She just said “ha ha. I don’t mean next weekend, I mean in the summer”. I laughed and changed the topic.

Since then DBIL has messaged my DH saying that SIL mentioned we might we able to borrow the caravan sometime.. (DH didn’t reply)

They don’t even have a towing vehicle. So are they planning on taking our car too?! Or are we expected to drive to their holiday place of choice and set up / collect for them?!

ANBH - they should get their own caravan and stop being cheeky fs.

ABU- they are family, of course you should let them take your caravan (and car) for a jolly.

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Justcallmebebes · 23/01/2023 22:22

A tow bar is pretty cheap and simple to fit

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missmarplesapprentice · 23/01/2023 22:23

YANBU, you are definitely within your right to say no. It’s a bit cheeky of her to just assume she can use it. If it would make it awkward to just say “no” (though I’ve learned from mumsnet that it is a complete sentence 😂) then can you make an excuse and say that your insurance on it won’t allow you to loan it out?

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PuttingDownRoots · 23/01/2023 22:24

If they can't physically move it (I'm guessing they will need the extra licence as well as the towing vehicle? Or is it within normal limits?) Then it become a moot point.

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Cats23 · 23/01/2023 22:25

Just say ' Sorry, we arn't letting anyone use it'

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coodawoodashooda · 23/01/2023 22:25

We've had this in our family. I agree op. I hate the notion that it's acceptable to ask to share everything. We've brazenly it out by saying that it's full of all of our stuff. Honestly I'd make a point of being in that caravan every spare minute I could until everyone got the hint. It is difficult though.

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Menopants · 23/01/2023 22:25

Just tell her no one is borrowing it. Caravans are surprisingly fragile they would trash it

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Robinonaspade · 23/01/2023 22:25

😂 No!! I'd nip that straight in the bud if she mentions it again. Your husband should be putting her straight.

Don't let her spoil your excitement of your new van.

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PermanentTemporary · 23/01/2023 22:26

Not going to vote but I'd probably lean towards letting them use it, but not yet - maybe in a couple of years? I'd also not do it if I knew she was careless about other people's belongings.

If you're not going to lend it out - and I think that's perfectly fine - just say you're not lending it, it's quite a responsibility for anyone as you'd be really upset if anything got damaged.

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Northernsouloldies · 23/01/2023 22:26

If you say yes once it will get messy when sil starts making summer plans, bugger that it's your caravan not a free for all. I'd be upfront and say nope it isn't being lent out to anyone.

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maddy68 · 23/01/2023 22:26

Sat you would be too worried about it getting damaged so you won't be allowing anyone else to use it

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Serialcatmum · 23/01/2023 22:26

@Justcallmebebes well relatively easy yes (about £400) but very unlikely their vehicle can tow the 2ton.

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Riverlee · 23/01/2023 22:26

Just say no!

She’s not cheeky to assume she can use it as and when.

If she starts stating that she wants it during certain weeks, say no or be non-committal, or say you’re already using it that weekend. Or quote an extortionate price for her to use it!

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coodawoodashooda · 23/01/2023 22:27

Before you know it you'll be borrowing it back and finding their unused tins of food in your cupboard and socks down the side of your bed. I'm really precious about my space. I feel annoyed for you.

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MrsMikeDrop · 23/01/2023 22:27

Cats23 · 23/01/2023 22:25

Just say ' Sorry, we arn't letting anyone use it'

Maybe this. Awkward but cheeky of her to suggest it. I'd lend it out to my SIL, but it's also fair enough if you don't want to

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Serialcatmum · 23/01/2023 22:30

@coodawoodashooda i feel the same way. They want their children to have a lovely holiday but j want my (new to me) caravan to be just the way ive left it.

I just would never say such a thing to someone!!! It annoyed me a bit that SIL came to me too, like as your husband to speak to his brother sooner than asking me!!!

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SlaveToTheVibe · 23/01/2023 22:30

Just say no for fuck sake

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BMW6 · 23/01/2023 22:30

I'd just say you haven't even used it yourselves yet so are not going to be loaning it out for the foreseeable future!

It's all too easy for something to be broken and cause bad feeling.

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MichelleScarn · 23/01/2023 22:31

And once you've let her use it, every other family member will want it, or you'll find she's asked to use it, but has let her friend actually take it....

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Triflenot · 23/01/2023 22:31

A person in my family had a caravan. I asked whether I could use it. They said they’d decided it was for their sole use only. Clear, and to the point.

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mackthepony · 23/01/2023 22:31

Er, no.

It's not a fucking air b nb.

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Serialcatmum · 23/01/2023 22:32

@SlaveToTheVibe well, yes indeed. But surely you can understand the concept of mumsnet. I’m asking other’s opinion to see if I’m being reasonable or not…

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Mapletreelane · 23/01/2023 22:33

OK just seen they have kids. That's a hard no then for me. We have a van and we let MIL use it (she was a keen caravanner before FIL passed away) but wouldn't let anyone with kids use it. Vans can be very fragile so it would get trashed. How old are the kids?

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Shinyandnew1 · 23/01/2023 22:35

Since then DBIL has messaged my DH saying that SIL mentioned we might we able to borrow the caravan sometime.. (DH didn’t reply)

I think there’s a perfect opportunity to respond with a simple-‘No-it’s our new toy, we aren’t planning on lending it out, sorry!’

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Serialcatmum · 23/01/2023 22:36

Great response @Shinyandnew1 !! I’ve just shown your response to my DH who says he will send exactly that in the morning!!! Thanks 😊

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olympicsrock · 23/01/2023 22:36

Just say
Sorry it was a bit awkward for me to say before but we don’t plan to let anyone else use it. We would prefer not to have to worry about moving our things out or stuff getting damaged . I know you will be disappointed but we have made our mind up.

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