To not want other people using our caravan?

[Serialcatmum]

Ok, by other people I mean my sister in law.

We recently purchased a caravan, we were going to go for a smaller one but decided to treat ourselves to a bigger one to give us more space. When I told SIL she said “oh I had my fingers crossed you’d go for the bigger one as then we can maybe use it some weekends too?!” It was sort of a question, sort of a statement. I laughed and said “oh we’ve not even planned our first trip yet”. She just said “ha ha. I don’t mean next weekend, I mean in the summer”. I laughed and changed the topic.

Since then DBIL has messaged my DH saying that SIL mentioned we might we able to borrow the caravan sometime.. (DH didn’t reply)

They don’t even have a towing vehicle. So are they planning on taking our car too?! Or are we expected to drive to their holiday place of choice and set up / collect for them?!

ANBH - they should get their own caravan and stop being cheeky fs.

ABU- they are family, of course you should let them take your caravan (and car) for a jolly.

@SleepingStandingUp - you are having a laugh, right???

The OP and her DH want to see it empty on their driveway because they do. That's the beginning and end of it.

Why just a small contribution?
It's new to them, it's theirs and if someone wants a caravan holiday somewhere, they can use Google and 'borrow' someone else's caravan or go to a static caravan park somewhere and pay for that.

@Serialcatmum - if you do ever let SiL borrow it at some time in the future, make sure that you charge them for using it. You never know what damage might happen when you're not around. It's different if you cause the damage as you own it, they wouldn't and could walk away saying "Oh that was there when we got here".

My sibling has a static mobile home and I have never asked to stay in it nor would I ever ask. It's hers and for her family's use.

We had a gorgeous VW camper van for a few years. We lost count of the people - some of whom weren't even close family or friends - who asked to use it for a weekend or holiday. We were not happy to lend it out so just said no. DH is great at that, he has no problem with being blunt. It was full of our own stuff and felt too personal, quite apart from the insurance implications.

Funnily enough, whenever we suggested renting one, and giving people the phone number of a local company, they didn't want one that badly.

Most people massively underestimate how hard it is to tow a trailer or caravan. I went on a course so I could safely tow and manoeuvre a boat trailer and there were loads of things on that course I had not even considered. If it is a large caravan the risks are huge be it overtaking, reversing, windloading, cornering, loading the caravan incorrectly so it affects balance etc. On those reasons alone I would just say no without having to discuss invasion of personal space etc.

While not a caravan I bought a small beat up cottage in France years ago. It took several 'working holidays' and engagement of local trades to knock it into shape and finally turn it into my perfect escape bolt hole. It's furnished just the way I want and there are lots of personal effects I leave there. Predictably as soon as the place was nearing completion all the long lost cousins, vague acquaintances and random work colleagues were angling for a 'mates rates' if not completely free use. I did let one family use it and while they did not completely trash the place they clearly treated it as no different to some random holiday let and did not bother to leave the place how they found it (including leaving food in the fridge). After that I just a flat no and used the above as reason why.

My PIL had one which was their pride and joy. They offered to lend it to us which was kind but obviously found it really hard to actually let us leave with it! As we drove away I half expected them to come running after us saying they had changed their minds! (This was after 2 days of intensive coaching about how to use it..)
We only borrowed it once, it was too much emotional hassle 😂
But, what we often did OP was join them while they were in their caravan. So we would camp on the same site (in a tent) and hang out a bit with them. So enjoying the vibe but as their guests. Kids loved it and slept in the awning.

"Have you checked that your car can tow the weight?"

That should close the subject down.

You need to stop this straight away. Don't leave it until the summer. It'll make it more awkward

This is how you shut the conversation down.

If they keep on, use this as your response. Except at the start don't say "Sorry" say "Look, we've thought it through...." as you have zero to apologise for.

I'd also cut them off at the pass in case they turn around to their children (I'm guessing they have kids) saying "Weren't mummy and daddy being very greedy/funny/rude/silly/ chancing their arm asking Aunty Serial and Uncle Serial if they could borrow their caravan when even they haven't even had a holiday in it themselves? That's a terrible thing to do isn't it? It's not something that you would do, right?"

They are aiming for a 100% free holiday and you have to set them straight on that.

Do they have a licence to tow? That’s an easy get out if not.

Otherwise I’d tell them your insurance doesn’t permit anybody else to use it.

I don’t think I’d mind lending a caravan to someone if it wasn’t brand new providing I knew it was the sort of people that look after things but it’s very cheeky to ask like that rather than wait to be offered.

Cheeky fuckers! Wear and tear on a caravan especially with kids crashing about through it is huge (at least it is in our static), add in towing it would be a hard no from the outset from me.

Do they have a licence to tow? That’s an easy get out if not.

You don't need a special licence. Anyone with a full driving licence is allowed to tow.

If I liked my relatives I would be happy for them to use it.

I wouldn't mind them using it BUT the massive headfuck would be if they damaged it and couldn't afford /admit to it.

Buy one yourself

talk about entitled lmao

Suggest that they look on marketplace for their own one and then maybe you could go away at the same time even, but youve already decided that you wont be lending or renting it out to anyone, not even family

We bought a new (as in new new) campervan last year. Friends of ours have asked if we are lending it out/renting it out. We just laughed and said no.

We had this when we got our motor home. Its old but lovely and I agree with previous poster that they are fragile. I also keep mine full of everything we need for a trip so don't want to lend it out.
We said no at the start and now nobody asks us.

Say no and manage expectations around the caravan now otherwise you’ll have a big problem in the summer.

@Serialcatmum
Send them this clicky link.

Two things from that website stand out:
A £1,300 excess deposit will be held during the hire duration but will be refunded upon return of the vehicle. You can even protect yourself from this excess with our Collision Damage Waiver cover
and
The hirer must ensure their vehicle insurance includes third party cover on the caravan. It is also advised that any breakdown cover the hirer has includes the caravan.

Absolutely - we’ve made many mistakes over the last 8 years of owning a touring caravan some of which have cost us money but that’s our problem and we’ve learned by them. I’d be devastated if I lent mine out and and it came back with significant damage.

Just say it is insured for your sole use..

I think people think of camping and caravanning as cheap without understanding the cost of equipment.

I am a camper but I wouldn't lend my tent to anyone. I know how I like it to be looked after, put away etc. A caravan is much more expensive. Any damage and that's your own holidays knackered.

They can rent a static if they want a caravan holiday

YANBU to say no to anyone borrowing it, but I can't help thinking that you won’t react quite the same when a member of your family asks to use it....

I don't understand the coyness on mn regarding just saying no to cheeky fuckers. She has an absolute nerve with the comment about the caravan's size. Just say no, that won't work us.

If you're not going to lend it out - and I think that's perfectly fine - just say you're not lending it, it's quite a responsibility for anyone as you'd be really upset if anything got damaged.

This - you aren't going to lend it to anyone. You want to option of being able to just go as and when you want on the spur of the moment.

If they want a caravan holiday they can rent one.

It’s a well know fact , that as soon as some buys a camper van or caravan that the will not leaned it to any family or friends.

even if they have spent years moaning about other family or very close friends saying having one and not lending it out or hiring it to them.

I would never ask anyone to borrow there precious camper or caravan because I know the answer, o no it just for us.

@ZaphodDent I think your sister's reply was good. Clear, polite, friendly and firm