To not want other people using our caravan?

[Serialcatmum]

Ok, by other people I mean my sister in law.

We recently purchased a caravan, we were going to go for a smaller one but decided to treat ourselves to a bigger one to give us more space. When I told SIL she said “oh I had my fingers crossed you’d go for the bigger one as then we can maybe use it some weekends too?!” It was sort of a question, sort of a statement. I laughed and said “oh we’ve not even planned our first trip yet”. She just said “ha ha. I don’t mean next weekend, I mean in the summer”. I laughed and changed the topic.

Since then DBIL has messaged my DH saying that SIL mentioned we might we able to borrow the caravan sometime.. (DH didn’t reply)

They don’t even have a towing vehicle. So are they planning on taking our car too?! Or are we expected to drive to their holiday place of choice and set up / collect for them?!

ANBH - they should get their own caravan and stop being cheeky fs.

ABU- they are family, of course you should let them take your caravan (and car) for a jolly.

If they asked to borrow your new car would you feel the same? Just say no!

I have a caravan and I definitely wouldn’t lend it to someone. Partly because it really is full of all our stuff and we would have to move all that out. Also as pp said, caravans are fragile and things break really easily. It’s a very personal space, would be like letting them stay in your bedroom. I wouldn’t do it.

I love that!

I’m not a caravanning person (we have tents), but in your position, I’d say no to lending it out.

FWIW, people have asked before if they could borrow my main camping tent (it’s a large polycotton air tent, so not cheap at all - camping is the only way my DC and I can afford to go away on holiday). I always say no (as it would cost ££££s to replace), and I tell them straight. They’re welcome to camp with me and the kids in the tent, but I won’t lend it out.

‘We’re just keeping it simple and not loaning it out at this point, thanks for being interested in our new hobby though!’

Yanbu. If they are so keen on caravanning tell them to buy their own!!

We have a small holiday house. If people use it there is wear and tear. For that reason when friends/family stay, we ask for a modest contribution. Also the electricity etc costs. It sure why we would subsidise someone’s holiday? Stick to your guns!

Crikey no.
Apart from anything else, what about the insurance? If they had an accident while towing and wrote it off, would it be covered?

Have they any experience of towing? I don't and it wouldn't even cross my mind to try without sone sort of training

Unfortunately this is a common thing for those with holiday accommodation, mobile or otherwise - sooner or later the requests start coming, though your DS was a bit quicker than most

I'm another who'd keep it simple with a "We're not lending it at all"; it saves people getting their hopes up and avoids misunderstandings

We have a motorhome and know lots of people with caravans. The vast majority (90%) never , ever lend theirs out. They are very personal things, like your own bedroom is. Especially with the way the cassette loos work and the beds - who wants someone else’s toddler poo stuck in the pipes or someone else sweating into the mattresses!

I would add to this - if you are worried about ill feeling now, imagine how bad it’ll be if they damage or misuse it, even accidentally. Just say no and explain all the pitfalls.

The sense of entitlement would annoy me. If they were broke with what I deem 'good reason' I mightboffer them a weekend or week. I would not let them 'book' it though. Caravans are expensive. Part of the pleasure is being able to do ad you please. I'd hate to think oh od love to go away but weve promised SIL the caravan. I'd also be annoyed if they went to Spain for a week as well....but that's just me.

Tell them you were hoping they’d be happy, you’ve found an excellent seasonal pitch for next season and you can go halves on the £3k cost, plus gas/electric as billed.

🤣🤣 they really aren’t! (£200 absolute minimum rising sharply upwards to well over £500 for many vehicles!) also the biggest point is that the OP didn’t state ‘they don’t have a towbar’ she said a tow VEHICLE meaning a suitable car…big caravans need to be towed by big heavy cars for stability. It’s an offence liable for a ban to tow an unsafe combination. You really shouldn’t comment on things you have no knowledge on with such certainty and dismissal.

Every one I know with a caravan or camper van never lend them out. It is a huge investment and they need care and careful use. Just message back to stop being so cheeky, insurance will not allow and that a caravan is a huge investment and not something people can just hook up and take off with. There is loads involved (because there is). Shut it down now.

Good response!

It would literally never occur to me to ask to borrow somebody's caravan! I suppose because the thought of somebody borrowing mine has me absolutely clutching my pearls! Hard no from me!

"Ah no ALL our family and friends are asking us for a borrow so it’s a blanket no for everyone”

No, you’re not BU but you need to nip this in the bud now. Don’t ignore their hints. Just say that we’re not going to be lending it to anyone.

The more you ignore their hints the more they’ll think it’s ok and you’ll end up with them declaring “oh, Barry and I thought we’d take the caravan down to Cornwall for a fortnight. Can you bring it round at the weekend?”

Put them straight sooner rather than later.

Just say no, they're so expensive! My "toy" is a small horse lorry which I've had just over 6 months and there's no way I'd lend that out to anyone. It's mine, cost a lot of money and I've waited nearly 20 years to have one like it. I don't even want to take other peoples horses in it, I know if there was any damage caused by them I'd end up paying ££££ to repair it and they'd wriggle out of paying so it's just not worth the risk.

Looking forward to BIL's reply!

Honestly I think you're pretty selfish. Unless there's some massive drop feed about their 7 unruly brats and their 6 dogs and how she's always leaving a trail of crumbs behind her, I don't see why you'd rather it sat empty on your driveway than be used by family.

If you're worried about wearing the tyres our or the mattress, ask for a small contribution.

I wouldn't have asked, in her shoes. I would have offered, in yours.

Placemarking for the CFer response.

I'd say no Op, and wouldn't feel bad about it.

We have a holiday house and I don't lend it to anyone. It's got all our stuff and we keep it spotless and I don't want anyone else in my personal space. A few friends have mentioned borrowing it but I simply say no, we don't lend it to anyone. Once I've said no once, people don't ask again.

Good luck in saying no!

I'd say no
Too expensive, too much risk