To not want other people using our caravan?

[Serialcatmum]

Ok, by other people I mean my sister in law.

We recently purchased a caravan, we were going to go for a smaller one but decided to treat ourselves to a bigger one to give us more space. When I told SIL she said “oh I had my fingers crossed you’d go for the bigger one as then we can maybe use it some weekends too?!” It was sort of a question, sort of a statement. I laughed and said “oh we’ve not even planned our first trip yet”. She just said “ha ha. I don’t mean next weekend, I mean in the summer”. I laughed and changed the topic.

Since then DBIL has messaged my DH saying that SIL mentioned we might we able to borrow the caravan sometime.. (DH didn’t reply)

They don’t even have a towing vehicle. So are they planning on taking our car too?! Or are we expected to drive to their holiday place of choice and set up / collect for them?!

ANBH - they should get their own caravan and stop being cheeky fs.

ABU- they are family, of course you should let them take your caravan (and car) for a jolly.

No. When I had my caravan, I did not even like sharing it with my son (who was 6 at the time!) It is definitely NOT for sharing, and allowing another person to use it without your being there is absolutely NOT on!

I’m glad you’ve resolved it.
I think it’s pretty cheeky they asked given they may have no towing experience and borrowing a tourer is not just a simple rock to the campsite and be done then go home:
i would absolutely say no to anyone borrowing mine for the following reasons;
It’s a lot of money for someone tow with litre experience and not a suitable car. What if they didn’t hitch it correctly and the caravan came loose, that’s a lot of damage which could take months to get resolved.
There is a lot involved in set up and pack down, with getting the elec and gas switched on, control panel settings as, things like ensuring the fridge is cleared properly, items are stowed properly to tow, ensuring they things are dry, not to mention - would they empty and clean the toilet - just imagine they didn’t and towed back and you had the pleasure of cleaning that up.
So many other reasons to say no too!

Im excited for your new purchase, best thing we’ve done aside from getting married and kids.

Perhaps you have only insured it for your car?

A tow bar is pretty cheap and simple to fit

Don't know where you got this information from.

I bought a used car back in the summer that has a tow bar already fitted.

I've just looked at the prices and they're priced from just over £300 to almost £400. I don't think that's particularly cheap. And that on a car that will only be able to tow up to 1250kg.

And it isn't something you can fit yourself. It has to be done by a professional.

i would lend a static if I had one and it’s lovely you did but not my tourer.
More-so because statics don’t require set ups each time and there is no requirement to empty wastes and toilets.
there’s a lot less risk too as set up aside , there’s even things like towing safely, being able to manoeuvre into a pitch.

This is true, professional fit and cost us near £500

No way would the CF get it. They can pay for their own.

If my friend or family bought a holiday home/vehicle, I would wait until they offered before I use it.

Having been in this situation I would say no. I would would definitely use the insurance excuse, which in some cases could be valid.

And it isn't something you can fit yourself. It has to be done by a professional.

No, it’s perfectly within the skill level of a competent DIYer. Just because YOU couldn’t fit one yourself doesn’t mean others can’t.

They don’t even know what they don’t know- setting up the water, the electric hook up, switching leisure battery, let alone the toilet cassette and waste water.

and that’s not even covering the towing levelling it up and the motor mover and putting the awning on.

we bought one during lockdown and sold it for double a year later after cleaning it up.

It was a year of hell with lots of you tube videos. It’s not like rocking up to a static caravan on a site… sadly! 😂

YANBU - you have only just got it and haven’t worked out how you intend to use it, you might want to use it every weekend!

from experience, once you start, it’s really difficult to pull back, and others will then ask as you have let one set of family use etc and finally, in our experience, people never treat it the way you do, it’s quite upsetting when something gets broken, burst, something spilled…..

enjoy your new home away from home!

Everyone is so mean! Watch out all… you’ll be posting ‘why am I so lonely on mumsnet’ pretty soon.

YNBU, When we bought our campervan and caravan I made it clear to everyone that we would not be letting anyone use it. I’m very close to my family but, we invested a lot of money into it all & they have become our second home! So much can go wrong so, start as you mean to go on!!

You haven’t got a caravan have you🤔

I was actually guilty of doing what others are doing to you !

Always had hols at mum and dads static, (40 years) they swapped to a tourer.

My car had NO tow bar and so actually expected elderly mum and dad to "deliver" it to my favorite site. I think I dropped "hints that were always ignored (good for them) I am quite ashamed now.

IF you want to let it out say "hey no problem, the COSTS are ..."
Psycologically there is a difference between "price" and "cost"

List camp site fees, hook up costs, gas cylinder prices and add. Let me know what weeks you would like so I can Invoice you"

If they say OH I thought we could go for free answer in the same bluntness, Sorry I cant afford to pay for your holiday ... do you want to cancell?

I was expecting stuff for free. stomp it down now. If they take offence what does it matter,

You could say, after telling them definitely NO, ours isn't for loan, it would be nice if you bought one too, we could go together. 😀

Apart from the expense of buying it, there are so many things you need to buy for it, and such a lot to go wrong if people aren't careful. Owners are careful, others not so much.

NOPE!!!
Me and my husband bought a motorhome, it was a huge expense and ours!!
We took it out and family met us for a picnic…. My sisters kids jumped over seats, broke a window blind, got crumbs everywhere, trod mud in etc…..
My sister then asked my mum ‘Do you think (us) would lend her the motorhome for holidays etc’…….
My mum said ‘No I don’t think they’ll lend it out, it’s a very expensive purchase’

I wouldn’t ‘lend it out’…… who will cover any damage?

I think your SIL is very cheeky being so presumptuous and think your husband needs to reply to his BIL straight away that the caravan is an expensive purchase and will not be leant out to anyone for the foreseeable !

You can tell you don’t own a caravan…

Do you randomly offer your car, house out to your family?….. oh we are away the weekend, feel free to come round and use our house, electricity etc…

We’ve other homes and wouldn’t either.

With the best will in the world people don’t treat others homes as they would their own, and any damage is going to lead to resentment.

For example…

Our coffee machine has become a bit temperamental, and you need to be careful about how long it’s switched on for if you don’t want to break it, but if you know what you are doing, it works well.

It’s a £2,500 machine. What happens when, inevitably, the family borrowing the home mess up and break it?

You towing it to various places or having it sited?
My brother has one that is permanently sited but he can pull it off when he wants to take it wherever. He allowed people to stay before now but found people taking advantage. Also, his site actually frown on anyone other than the owners using it for security and insurance purposes. Obviously, others can use it with owners there.
The other thing is, I'm unsure if this has been mentioned previously but my brother had to do a towing qualification to get the entitlement on his license (uk based)

Its not mean
Its protecting an expensive item
Your not owed use of anything extended family buys just cos 'family'

Cheeky bastards. Rent it to them. Did they work for and pay for it.. nope. Suggest that they get their own if they like the idea so much.
People are so grabby and family seem to think they are entitled to everything you have.

My family have loved caravanning for years. In fact, I am actually thinking of getting one myself so that I can take my children out. The caravan is like an extension of your home. Of course you’re not unreasonable to think that it should just be your family using it. Your SIL is definitely being a CF thinking that she can borrow it whenever she likes. She clearly does not realise that

1. you need a suitable tow car and correctly fitted towbar with full electrics
2. The person towing may need to take an enhanced driving test.
3. their own caravan insurance (I hope she doesn’t expect your insurance to cover that.)

For someone who has never towed before, pulling a caravan behind a car can be quite daunting. If your DH is a lorry driver, he will already know the rules of the road when towing. It is highly unlikely that your SIL will know these, such as maximum speed limits which are different to a car on its own. Stopping distances are further due to having to stop both the car and caravan. What to do if the stability of the caravan is compromised while driving (I have firsthand experience of how terrifying it is to lose control of a car and caravan)

I hope you enjoy your new caravan and don’t let your SIL borrow it.

We have an old banger of a caravan (still cost over 3k though) and I’d be really uncomfortable about lending it to people.

There’s so much more to it than just hitching it onto the car and driving to a site.

I’d probably let people who I knew were used to tourers and towing but not people with no experience.

Our employee asked to borrow it last year, we reluctantly agreed knowing that he and his family would struggle for a holiday otherwise but asked him to spend half a day with us learning how to use it (towing, levelling, set up etc). He couldn’t be bothered find the time for that so didn’t use it.

My parents lent their caravan to my cousins once, it came back with the awning put away wet and the toilet cassette full.

I definitely wasn't thinking about whether I could fit one or not; a very unlikely scenario as I've no desire to tow anything.

I was going by everything I read about it when I was looking at the prices for tow bars for my car.

All the advice was, that they needed to be fitted by someone who knows what they're doing.

I'm sure a lot of people could plumb in their own bathrooms or rewire their own house because they are a competent DIYer.

But unless they really know what they're doing it's probably best for the average person to leave it to the professionals.