Why is polyamory trending?

[KiwiMum2023]

What’s going on with polyamory? Seems like a very blatant push to make it acceptable with all these throuple stories in the news. AIBU to think it’s all a bit grim?

Grim indeed, an inadequate man convincing women that they can coexist as a unit, eschew the traditional roles blah blah
Usually it’s a fat fingered gamer who wants sex with multiple women but they keep his gaff tidy too and raise the kids

I'd be totally up for having several spouses who did all the cooking and cleaning while I swanned about. Wouldn't want sex though.

I see this from the other way around, a bunch of women, who each decide they only need a fraction of a man each, and are largely independent. Compared to a man who desperately needs women, even though each individual one only has a limited interest in him

I've had 2 separate stories pop up on my news alerts today about celeb thrupples... David Hay and Rita Ora, (separate thrupples though!)

Then everyone can have their cake and eat it. I don't reckon they end well though, someone will get hurt!

As a child growing up with a polyamorous parent I can tell you it is horrendous. Everyone should live and love however they want to, but it’s not good for kids.

I still feel traumatized by the way it effected us - as do my siblings.

I'm sure it's always been there, like gay couples and transfolk, just getting a bit more air time.
Ot wouldn't be for me. I don't even like trio friendships, I like 2s or gangs.
I'm quite liberal so I'd say each to their own. Not quite how the law will accommodate this further down the line if trouples (or more) wanna legalise their union equitably....so no legally married first/main couple plus 1.
Interestingly, I've not seen a same sex trouble yet. Any out there?

I can't say I've seen it trending so if you're concerned about it you might need to look at whatever circles you move in.

Regardless, I can't work up the energy to care about how many adults want to be in a consenting relationship with each other. If it makes them happy it's none of our business.

A friend has just had their spouse ask to become polyamorous. I veer between feeling really angry on my friends behalf and then also thinking it's more honest than just booking a Travelodge and fucking a few randoms in secret. I hope it works out.

I would say polyamory in particular now because it is genuinely a bit different from what their parents did.

Carol V was on This Morning talking about her multiple “special friends” - can’t imagine being her child and hearing that to be honest! 😖🙈

Louis Theroux did a documentary on this in his altered states programme. It was really interesting though there was always one member of the different therouples that I felt rather sad for and it felt like they had such a low view of themselves that they only felt theydeserved the scraps of affection they were given from this set up. (Though that might just be me putting a layer onto it as I couldn't be in anything other than a monogamous relationship.)

I've seen 2F + 1M but also 2M + 1F.
I've also seen 'polycules' so couples/throuples who have separate independent relationships!
When I say seen, I don't mean IRL.

Just no.

It might be your news feed algorithms. You click on one story about polyamory and then the news app thinks you want to read every other story about polyamory so they keep popping up.

I made that error with clicking on a Mrs Hinch thing just once to see what the fuss was about and now my feed is contaminated with “cleaning hack” type junk news.

It's an interesting question. I suppose if the law already provides for two people to be legally and financially joined then there aren't any major hurdles to doing it with e.g. three (but what happens if there's more?), although the divorces would be messier and there would have to be specific provisions around things like next of kin. I don't think it's impossible to do but I doubt polyamorous relationships will be legally recognised any time soon. It's not really common enough in the population for it to be a political issue tbh.

Polyamory has always been a pretty normal thing in my peer group, I know or am aware of many polyam couples, throuples, polycules, etc. I've only known a couple of incidents where it's not been as it seems, or someone has got hurt.

It's been weird suddenly seeing it popping up online and seeing discussions about it, because as I say, it's been part and parcel of the alt music scene for decades.

There have been several descriptions/ assumptions about it in this thread which aren't a thing, but I'm buggering off to bed and cba to comb through. It's easiest to do a Google and read up.

In my experience (which is of young men - friends of DS)...the are polyamorous when they have a girlfriend they are not that keen on and they become monogamous when the have a girlfriend they really like. Little wankers

I suggest low moral standards rather than honesty are really the issue re your friend's situation.

All this polyamory stuff is people no longer recognising that we should generally restrain our desires so we don't ruin other people's lives.

I can't get worked up about how consenting adults organise their romantic relationships.

I know one group of 4 who are in a polycule and it works for them. No kids which I think helps. Can't say it's for me but the curtain twitching folks on here will be be outraged I'm sure.

Just an attempt to rebrand what is basically just people wanting to have multiple sexual partners and no commitment.

It is now presented as ''ethical'' and claims that all people involved are ''loved'' equally because it sounds better that ''we just want to have lots of casual sex, but don't like the stigma attached to it so we are going to come up with another concept''.

I think the reality is that it is just a lot of nonsense.

Most of us don't have the time or energy to conduct multiple relationships and it is rather obvious that there is always going to be issues with jealousy, competition and one person feeling they are not getting enough attention and so on.

As for doing this if you have kids, it is just plain silly and selfish. They really don't want to be introduced to daddy's new girlfriend or mummy's new boyfriend every few months or to have parents who spend the time that could be allocated to doing family stuff being spent instead on juggling multiple lovers.

Best left out to a few Guardian readers with delusions that they are the new Bohemians.

Not outraged but I would eyeroll if they said they were 'being authentic humans'.

I know someone with 3 kids whose husband suggested this set-up. Very predictably it ended badly.

Fine if it isn’t going to hurt anyone, but with kids involved I think it’s incredibly selfish.

People are so bloody self-obsessed these days and love telling everyone their ‘label’.

IME it's being pushing by the same people spouting trans and gender ideology