My friend had two kids with a married man. His wife has no idea!!!! Should I???

[Shoot4theMoon]

A distant friend on Facebook who I used to be close with when we were young has two children, 12 year old and 5 year old, their father is a married man of 25 years, he won’t pay child support, my friend struggles badly where iv had to lend her money last year for food as she had only an apple in for her child to eat, she won’t contact the child support incase this man’s wife finds out and it ruins his marriage. I think his wife deserves to know the damn truth and yes it’s none of my business but this distant friend is never going to tell the wife…. I found her on Facebook after a little digging….. should I?? Shouldn’t I???

She is either a bad mother for putting their dads marriage ahead of feeding her children or she's just getting what she can out of you and possibly others. Has she asked for any other help with finances or food from charities or food banks? Leaving a 5 year old to have an apple for tea? If that's true surely someone should be stepping in to have a look here?

I have a friend in similar situation and I chose not be friends with her anymore. I found it so digsuting the two kids are in same class and they don't even know they are brother and sister. I'd she can't afford to look after that child then she needs to take responsibility for her actions not rely on you anyone who calls you a shit stirrer clearly has no morals.the child dosent deserve to live like that and he has a responsibility to pay for that child.

Your "distant friend" is clearly scammy. I'm sure you're not that naive.

Op, she has made her choices and one of those is to prioritise the married man above her DC's welfare.

If he wanted to keep her and the CMO off his back then he would be paying her something in any way that he could.

If you want to help her then give her links to benefits and food banks in her area and let her get on with it.

However, as others are saying it could be a scam. Years ago I had a friend desparately trying to borrow money for food. I offered her bread and beans to feed her DC and she turned me down. Later that night she was in the pub getting drunk. Somebody else had fallen for the sob story.

She didn't need money for food, she wanted it so she could go out.

It's your friends decision that the man's marriage, his wife, and their dishonest cheats sexlife are all more important than feeding her children and taking proper care of them. What a feckless, selfish idiot she is

Why on earth are you encouraging , colluding in AND FUNDING that sleazy little set up? Thanks to YOU, she doesn't need to nag him or demand he supports his children. You're doing it for him. Making it easy for him. The children are suffering.

Stop giving her money, and support, and propping her up, getting your kicks on the sidelines. Searching the wife on FB and "shall I tell her" FGS just how low can you go, wallowing in other peoples shit.

Amen.

Stop giving her money and call child services if she’s incapable of feeding her children. Aside from that, her poor choices are not yours to stir up. Although there is the possibility she’s having you on.

The child's school can start safeguarding procedures. As said you should have reported this.

Do it, he doesn't deserve to get away with not supporting his children.

How does telling his wife he's a cheat get any money to his children?

She sounds like a con artist

A distant friend you've been giving money to?

After your last update I wouldn't be contacting the wife I'd be contacting social services if her child was starving and crying without your intervention! That baby needs proper help OP. x

Do it!!! This man deserves things to crumble around him

You’re right, her children don’t deserve the situation they’ve been put in. Their mother has got to build a life of her own with her two children. She should hold the father of her children accountable for his share of their care and needs. What a despicable person he is. She should hold herself accountable for getting involved with a married man. The only thing to do now is to proceed forward. But you can’t make those choices for her. Stop giving her money. If you want to take the children out for meals or shopping for clothes, do so. I would recommend not giving her money though or paying for her needs because frankly her unethical behavior signals that she will continue to not get her act together as along as she’s got somebody to “help” her. It’s awful for the children not so much as the economic side of things but how they’ve got parents who are not the best.

Either the OP is being scammed….
or we are!

I wouldn’t be telling the father as it’s none of your business but I would be ringing social services.

I am a single parent with no help from the father and my child have never eaten just an apple for dinner.

She is obviously struggling and needs help.
It is awful that she’d rather her child go hungry than get their dad to contribute.

Your friend is awful tbh. She'd rather her children starve than upset a man.

I'd be contacting SS never mind the wife, THAT it was what will help the children. An apple for dinner? What would have happened if you hadn't spoken to her that night? She'd just let him go hungry?

Someone is not telling the truth here

There are children going hungry. He has to pay for his children. It's not about her!!

Your 'distant friend' scammed you. Didn't even have to read full thread to deduce that

Smells like teen spirit.

You stay out of it. It’s not your business. She needs to either have a private arrangement for child support with him. Or if he is not agreeable put in a claim. Because sensible adults ensure they can look after their children. Her children should be more important to her than his marriage to another woman.

You say distant friend but you bought food for her? ef not like any distant friendship I've had.
In any case, your friend needs to sort her life out. The father of the kids needs to pay, what an AH, but his DW doesn't need to find out from you.

She's an adult and shouldn't have had 2 children with another woman's husband