My friend had two kids with a married man. His wife has no idea!!!! Should I???

[Shoot4theMoon]

A distant friend on Facebook who I used to be close with when we were young has two children, 12 year old and 5 year old, their father is a married man of 25 years, he won’t pay child support, my friend struggles badly where iv had to lend her money last year for food as she had only an apple in for her child to eat, she won’t contact the child support incase this man’s wife finds out and it ruins his marriage. I think his wife deserves to know the damn truth and yes it’s none of my business but this distant friend is never going to tell the wife…. I found her on Facebook after a little digging….. should I?? Shouldn’t I???

To prove that he didn’t I would have thought. He’d be much more likely to agree to one than a man who actually did have sex with someone that was claiming he fathered their child!

It's not your business. Stay out of it.

None of your business keep your nose out

Yes op. What you’ve got to do. Is befriend people. Get them to trust you. Then use that information to wreak havoc. Fuck yeah. Go tell her. Get right up in their business.

then when you’re done. Have a look at other people you know. See how you can involve yourself there too. Always do it anonymously. So you keep finding out shit about their lives and you can mess with them.

slow hand clap.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Nothing to do with you.

Re read this and it sounds like a scam to me op.

I mean if she's got starving kids I would notify social services and I personally would tell the wife

If I was his wife I would want to know to be honest

If you want to get involved, get busy helping her with support contacts. Don't part with any more money.

You are a distant friend and shouldn't even begin to think about getting involved with her relationship set-up.

You may be well-meaning but is she saying she had no family or friends or organisations to support her while her youngest is crying through starvation around the Christmas period (or any period tbh).

She’s got you right where she wants you. Why not set up a standing order so she can keep her kids in apples? It might make you feel better.

If she’s remotely telling the truth, she put up with the set up for 6 years then chose to have a second child with him. She clearly couldn’t give a fuck about his wife, fair enough as neither does he. But you’re making this about you which is very silly.

Does she work?

Maybe she lied to you and he’s not the father ,but she wishes he was …
seriously dont get involved
people always shoot the messenger

Introduce her to the concept of a food bank
it’s her choice to not claim child maintenance,so up to her to manage

I sincerely hope you're not a friend of mine. Are you just practicing with this 'friend' or do you have others lined up with lives for you to ruin? Words fail me.

She's saw you coming didn't she! Don't believe everything people tell you OP. She'd rather protect her boyfriends marriage, than feed her starving child?!

So you've known about this distant friend's situation for years, but just recently you were inspired to do a little digging, & now want to take it upon yourself to tell his wife?

Why now?
You haven't given a shit for years, but now you want to interfere?
What changed for you - did you get pissed off about putting your hand in your pocket when your friend had no food? Do you imagine that blowing up a marriage will result in this man suddenly starting to pay the CM he owes?

should I?? Shouldn’t I???
You are positively salivating at the prospect of causing drama. Stop it - drooling isn't a good look.

To prove that he hadn't - or at least hadn't impregnated her. Because the woman claiming that he did was causing shit for him at work. Why did you think?!

Why do you want to shit stir?

Dont send £££
Direct to cms website
Direct to local foodbanks
The wife maybe already knows you dont know anything

They saw you coming. Probably telling other distant mates the same sob story. Wouldn’t surprise me if she was also on here at the time bleating some sob story.

Well your friend is a fucking idiot and she’s possibly scamming you. Next time she gives you a sob story, tell her to claim maintenance - her kids being fed should be her priority, not keeping this scumbags dirty little secret.

this was obviously a scam.
call SS if you think there are children actually starving because a woman can’t afford them, can’t go to cms, can’t ask for money, can’t go to a food bank and can’t ask for any other help herself.

why would any loving mother prioritise her boyfriends marriage over her children. I doubt she would.

Agree with a pp. If the children are genuinely starving then social services need to be involved. I'm surprised school haven't already flagged it up.

Also your friend would rather have her children starving than contact CMS? Really?

BTW, you've haven't "had to give her money". You've chosen to. Are you still in contact with her? What's her current situation like?

Unfortunately you've not presented your thread well. Your title screams drama. If you're genuinely concerned it would've read "how can I help my friend and her starving children".

Pretty difficult to read that huge run-on sentence, but why has your mate never heard of food banks? Her choice to not use CMS is her own choice and it sounds like she’s dreadful at making choices in general.

What’s making you want to dive in to the shitshow all of a sudden is her eldest kid is 12, so she was shagging the man at least 13yrs ago? How strange that you didn’t care to tell the wife in all these years, since you care…

Unfortunately your title looks like a strap line from an episode of Jeremy Kyle. Don't be surprised about the replies here.

I'd be more concerned that your friend is not feeding her children, there are food banks available if desperate , having just an apple in the house for your child to eat is neglect, sort your friend out before she loses those kids

I find it hard to believe that she values his right to an intact and problem free marriage, more highly than being able to provide food for her children.

Use the energy you spent digging to find services local to her that you can signpost her to to help her.