My friend had two kids with a married man. His wife has no idea!!!! Should I???

[Shoot4theMoon]

A distant friend on Facebook who I used to be close with when we were young has two children, 12 year old and 5 year old, their father is a married man of 25 years, he won’t pay child support, my friend struggles badly where iv had to lend her money last year for food as she had only an apple in for her child to eat, she won’t contact the child support incase this man’s wife finds out and it ruins his marriage. I think his wife deserves to know the damn truth and yes it’s none of my business but this distant friend is never going to tell the wife…. I found her on Facebook after a little digging….. should I?? Shouldn’t I???

Telling her isn't going to end up with your friend getting child maintenance.

Encourage her to make a CM claim. If he doesn't have a joint account then the money would just be taken when he's paid and his wife won't know.

Your friend is an idiot putting dick ahead of food for the kids. I hope that she's trying to scam money from you rather than prioritising this "man" over her kids.

Your friend is an idiot. This man she was having sex with was hardly a catch, did she ever expect to get anything?? However, you come across as just wanting some drama. Are you 13 and bored?

If his wife really doesn't know then she's in a strong position to negotiate some maintenance. He might not be able to just bank transfer it (joint account) but could give her cash even if it's not as much as the CMS would award her.

Don’t get involved. Seriously, don’t. Otherwise it will be you who gets a load of shit from everyone. Can you be doing with that? I know I couldn’t.

Your friend should put her children first though and get him to provide for them. That’s her battle though.
I can understand why she’s held back either through shame or fear of what might happen, but she’s doing her kids a disservice.

Yeah… this sounds like bollox. Either this is made up or you were scammed.

Because he had been accused of being the father and I'm guessing the wife wanted proof it wasnt his.
You get a paternity test to clear your name. Also, since he was ger boss, his job could have been at risk; sexual harassment of a subordinate etc.

If I was his wife and he refused to get a test then I'd assumed it was because he was afraid it was show he WAS the father. Getting the test is what you do when you're accused of cheating on your wife and fathering a child. It obviously led to the truth coming out.

So you were scammed? Now want to contact this man’s wife in the hope you get your money back?

How do you know who the father of her kids is?

Or are you just a shit stirrer? Or troll.

Encourage her to make a maintenance claim, help her fill in any paperwork if she needs help with it. Find food banks in her area to direct her to. Inform social services if you believe the children are being neglected. Leave the wife alone.

Maybe she’s not been concerned before but is now is because she’s found out the children are going without food now?

To prove it wasn’t his child and that she was lying. Obviously.

I’d ordinarily say this isn’t your business and you should stay out of it, but you said the kids came close to having nothing to eat which I think changes things.
I would talk to her and try to persuade her to put in a child support claim. It isn’t fair on the children that they are being made to suffer like this, and he has an obligation (both moral and legal) to contribute to their upkeep.

she doesnt want to put a claim in but keeps having kids with him

ok then

Op, this sounds like she's just trying to get money out of you.

Let’s be honest, that was clearly completely and totally untrue. You’re telling me that she couldn’t get 79p together for a frozen supermarket ready meal? At Christmas? That there no food banks? No churches? No actual friends she could borrow £1 from? No hospitals nearby?

You’re also telling me that she’s admitting to starving her child and you think she’s a victim? She also supposedly had six years of no child support from this guy and chose to have another child with him? Lots of single parents don’t get child support for whatever reason and they don’t allow their children to starve.

I’m pretty convinced she’s making the whole thing up but I’m 100% sure she was lying to you.

I wouldn't have believed any of that the ,spy vs like she knew she could tap.you for a few quid.

Sounds*

Always remember the "distant friend" might be tapping up everyone she's ever known in the hope that some will send money

Anyone can be a scammer

She's scammed you, and probably everyone else in her phone contacts.

How does telling the wife get OP's 'friend's' children fed?

Jesus Christ no, this is nothing to do with you.

A distant Facebook friend and you are sending money?! Come on op, leave this well alone.

Either you’re very gullible or you think we are. Reported.

This - 100%

Well, it all sounds like nonsense to me.

if she is a distant friend, how do you know who the ignorant wife is? Or how to contact her? You need to be careful on this, it is quite possibly slander.

🔔

If the father won’t pay child support voluntarily then he clearly isn’t bothered if his wife finds out. He can pay up, or he can pay up and have his wife know about his cheating and secret children too.