We named our baby a marmite name

[PineappleBrazilNutsandMaccasFries]

And I bloody love the horrified reactions more than the delighted ones:

What???
Oh my god that's a mouthful isn't it?
Is that a name? Oh, I'd call him 'xxx'

It's not even that out there, I think people are just rude, but it cracks me up

I'm going for
Trevor or Brian if it's a boy

and
Doris or Mildred if it's a girl.

I worked with someone many years ago and her son had done really well and got selected to go to a sports academy for a sport he loved. Someone at work asked if he was excited etc. He had been awake crying every night since he found out about it. When his mum asked him what was wrong and why he was so upset he said I am worrying about what will happen if someone asks my name. Then he started crying again saying but the big boys will all laugh and make fun of it because everybody else does. This happened over 40 years ago and its as vivid as ever.

So sad - that's the reality of giving kids ridiculous names. People will say how nasty we are on MN for making fun of absurd name choices (not just slightly unusual ones); but it's far better to present your planned name to MN and then get upset for an evening as your dream name is torn to shreds, before swapping it for a much more sensible choice as a result, than it is to go ahead in blissful ignorance and call your baby something that will ensure them a lifetime of mockery and force them to avoid telling people their own name.

What's worse is that the child will suffer the mockery and not the parent, after the first couple of years of their life. I have no doubt that there are loads of kids out there with utterly stupid names whose parents will blithely say "Oh, she loves having a non-boring name!" whilst their child is not only very much not loving it at all, but is also trying to shield their permanent upset from their parents, out of a desire not to upset them.

I know it's become a MN cliche, but if only more parents would test out a wacky name in advance and introduce themselves as that name to strangers, to see how well it's received - not just mockery, necessarily, but maybe endless confusion as to pronunciation or spelling. What possible single positive could come to a person's life from being called 'Jaiymz' rather than James? Or even being called James, if it's a girl?

As a general rule, if you as a 35yo adult are then hesitant about telling people 'your' name and find yourself holding back, imagine what it's like for a young child without the same life experience, thick skin or confidence.

@PineappleBrazilNutsandMaccasFries Really surprised to hear anyone gives a toss or would go out of their way to condemn a name that a child already has.

Is this a then everyone clapped moment??

In France Marmite is a cooking pot so a couple couldn't really use that as a name so they plumped for Nutella, sadly a court decided...

'The name 'Nutella' given to the child is the trade name of a spread,” the court's official decision read, adding that it is “contrary to the child's interest” to be named Nutella, as it “can only lead to teasing or disparaging thoughts.” The French love Nutella, but apparently not as a baby name.'

So how about Marmaduke for a boy? It has has the spread connotation (marmalade) with an element of royalty thrown in.

For a girl, maybe the hyphenated 'Lemon-Curd'

😁

Two of the most annoying threads on MN

"My kids name is controvertial but I couldn't possibly tell everyone their precious name"

"My husbands does his Hobby (outing)"

Good point.

Although if it is true, the name must be really bad since it's considered the height of social awkwardness to say anything other than 'what a lovely name!' after a baby is born in Britain.

So how about Marmaduke for a boy? It has has the spread connotation (marmalade) with an element of royalty thrown in.

I like 'Tiptree' - especially if he doesn't end up growing very tall. Good solid British name there for if he decides to become a 1930s music hall star (which a surprisingly large number of babies born in the 2020s do these days). 'Uncle Tiptree Postlethwaite and his Big Moonlight Swing Band'.

Although if it is true, the name must be really bad since it's considered the height of social awkwardness to say anything other than 'what a lovely name!' after a baby is born in Britain.

Unless you're Ben from Outnumbered.
"Great to meet you, I'm Brick."
"Is that a name?!"

It's not even that out there, I think people are just rude, but it cracks me up

will it also crack you up when your kid grows up a bit and starts to voice the same opinion, hating their name...?

It's all fine and dandy to not care if about the general public opinion, but what about how your own child feels?

You think it's funny that you've lumbered a human being with a stupid name?

But if it’s marmite, doesn’t that mean people love it or hate it? Seems rather arrogant to assume that that’s what other people think. I’m sure more people would just think, that’s okay but wouldn’t be my choice.

True story. Why start a thread like this, knowing the first thing people will do is ask the name? If you are not willing to share it just don’t bother.

Haha yes. One person with a horrified reaction and you could write it off as unusual rudeness and lack of social skills.

Multiple different people so shocked they were unable to just make a bland positive comment to your face - yeah I think it's Rumpelstiltskin.

@TheOriginalEmu I absolutely love all of those names! I struggled to get my Welsh but not welsh speaking other half to let me choose a Welsh name but i got there in the end!!

Beelzebub?

Imagine bragging about giving your kid a name so bad that people are ‘horrified’ and then stamping your foot and calling people ‘twats’ for not giving you a round of applause on a pointless thread 😄

Bruce
Felix
Fergus

😄

nobody is being a twat it's just not clear what you wanted out of the thread. Most threads have a question that they need answered.
It would be perfectly reasonable to tell us what you named your child and asked for opinions. But I don't know what you want us to say?

THIS ⬆

FWIW it's not particularly out there at all, I'm sure you'd be highly disappointed if I revealed the name.

In that case it can't be "marmite", you tedious twonk!

Another thread that isn't an AIBU but is put up there anyway.

Yes, a name that people have no particular reactions to or opinions on - whether or not they would have chosen the name for their children - is the exact opposite of a Marmite name.

It's like calling Jack or Olivia Marmite names.

A thread about someone who’s named their kid a shit name?

over and out. Who even cares. OP clearly thinks their child is something special to have created a post about their (no doubt kids super shit name).

Pointless thread rescued by some very funny name suggestions!