Been off sick with depression for 9 months, will colleagues think I’m taking the piss if I take the kids to a theme park

[chinateapot]

Just as the title says really. My mum died, lots of issues from that, I couldn’t cope, got a diagnosis of depression and off work since now on half pay. (Civil service so great sick pay )
i want to do something nice for my kids because this is all horrid for them too but wjll my colleagues think I’m lying about needing to be off work ?

“My issue is not with OP and I hope she is enjoying her great sick pay and theme park outing as I have said. My issue is that I the taxpayer should not be paying someone to be off on the sick for 9 months”

Who should, then? Or should we revert to life before the welfare state and just hope someone steps in to help them?

9 months is a looooong time. If you cannot go back to work because you are ill with no end in sight why should they keep paying you? I mean how long do you expect them to keep paying you for? You are being paid for a job you cannot do due to ill health. There are benefits for people who are genuinely ill like yourself OP but methinks that would not make a dent in your "great sick pay".
So yes, if I worked there and came in every day and saw you being paid half your wages for 9 months and not coming in because you were ill but you were headed off to a theme park with your kids, I would indeed be pissed off.

All of these posters judging for the length of time she's had and the fact that she gets sick pay just sound bitter in my opinion. There's more to life than work and it doesn't mean you don't have a good work ethic if a doctor had signed you off sick, it just means you are sick and need to get better before you can return to work. People saying about her team being stressed and resenting her, that's not her problem. Her managers can't get some agency staff in? This thread wouldn't be the same if it wasn't a mental health. All this 'be kind', 'it's okay not to be okay' clearly is all bs. We're told to speak, seek support but actually deep down when it comes to mental health it still is a put up and shut up society!

“My issue is not with OP and I hope she is enjoying her great sick pay and theme park outing as I have said. My issue is that I the taxpayer should not be paying someone to be off on the sick for 9 months”

So would you prefer she loses her job then claims job seekers and other benefits from the "tax payer".

There is no compassion in society

Firstly OP I wish you well. I think you need to do what is best for you. Your colleagues may judge you as they might think that if you can go to a theme park you can come to work. It's a fairly simplistic judgement but it may happen and only you can know whether you feel it is worth it and will make your mental health better, not worse.

Secondly, and I'm not applying this to the OPs case at all, but to the general question about sick pay in the private and public sector. I used to work in HR in a major private company which used to be part of the civil service. We had generous sick pay. Full pay up to 6 months, then half pay. Most people were perfectly reasonable and hard working, but we did have a number of cases where people would suddenly be better just before the 6 months was up. There are always people who will take advantage. Most people don't.

I'm now self employed and don't get sick pay at all. It can be tough - I had to go to work within days of a close family bereavement. I do everything I can to avoid being ill. But we all choose where we work. It isn't the OPs fault that where she works has generous sick pay. It's part of her terms and conditions.

So when is enough enough? A year? 2 years? Should they just keep paying her indefinitely and get some agency staff and pay them aswell?

There should be a time limit to how long you can go sick for. Her comment about "great sick pay" really does say it all.

Autumn54 · Today 11:11
All of these posters judging for the length of time she's had and the fact that she gets sick pay just sound bitter in my opinion. There's more to life than work and it doesn't mean you don't have a good work ethic if a doctor had signed you off sick, it just means you are sick and need to get better before you can return to work. People saying about her team being stressed and resenting her, that's not her problem. Her managers can't get some agency staff in? This thread wouldn't be the same if it wasn't a mental health. All this 'be kind', 'it's okay not to be okay' clearly is all bs. We're told to speak, seek support but actually deep down when it comes to mental health it still is a put up and shut up society“

Quite. For all we know, OP has had an exemplary record there for 30 years.

Suspect there are two reasons for this. Many still consider the public sector a cushy number. It isn’t, with thousands of employees having to claim UC to get by on their poor salaries. Secondly, for all the as you say “be kind” blah, lots of people still think deep down that people with mental rather than physical illness should just pull themselves together.

If Op had cancer but with a decent prognosis, just a slow recovery, would people still be resenting her sick pay? Doubt if.

9 months is a long time, what’s your plan on how you will return to work? Ideally you would be doing a phased return by this point. Yes your colleagues are going to judge, tbh I think if you’re well enough to take your kids on days out to theme parks you should be well enough to start a phased return, even if it’s just half a day a week.

If you wait another 3 months the weather will be better and you'll no doubt be back at work as sick pay ends at 12 months- win win all round.

Just to clear up a few things

this is not bereavement leave, it’s severe depression probably triggered by bereavement

sick pay js 6 months full 6 months half. I’m within a week of a hospital discharge for this illness so I’m not sure I’ll be able to go back before sick pay runs out. I am phenomenally grateful to my employer, that’s what I meant by great sick pay.

I am desperate to go back but have yet to convince either psychiatrist or occ health thet I can, amended duties or not.

possibky helpful to those resentful of the sick pay - I could probably earn about £50000 more in the private sector. Benefits like sick pay are one reason why I don’t.

12 months. In pretty much all CS now it is 6 months full pay, up to another 6 months half pay then unpaid. And for more recent starters it is worked out by your legnth of service so in our department at 5 years service you will qualify for 5 months full pay, five months half. This applies whether it is depression or cancer treatment. I agree sick pay can't just go on indefinitely, full pay forever but there seems to be a race to the bottom now.

OK well now I feel bad. I'm sorry that this is happening to you and please understand my beef is not with you; it's with the parlous nature of our services and with others on this thread telling me I'm bad for feeling the way that I do.

I hope that you can continue to make progress and get better.

And also I will ask for my posts to be removed as on reflection I've been pretty shitty.

I don’t think you habe been shitty @potniatheron , no one was to know the background. And I don’t understand it, this time last year op was saying she was a gp. Are gps civil servants?

@potniatheron yes nhs staff also get similar sick pay . Do you feel as "heartbroken" that you're paying nurses to be off sick? I would think there would be a lot, lot less nhs staff in general if there wasn't a sick pay policy.

@potniatheron ... I didn't see your most recent comments, I was replying to a previous one

I think the replies would have been of a different tone if you had clarified earlier that you are on forced sick leave and couldn’t return to work even if you wanted to.
That makes a massive difference.

Is the OP a GP? So are locum’s covering your work then?

There will always be people that judge, that's life. Obviously being well enough to go to a themepark for a day and being well enough to return to work are very different things, especially when depression is concerned.

That being said like you're doing I certainly wouldn't advertise the face on social media. If your children are old enough they may understand your concerns and realise not to make a big deal.

Major drip feed OP in that you didn't say your dr's said that you're not up to going back. If going out to the Theme Park is the sort of thing that will help convince the dr's that you are well enough to go back to work then I don't see the problem at all.

There's no evidence that the OP is not " engaging with this". In any case that's the business of the OP, her clinicians, Occupational Health and her manager. It's nothing to do with her colleagues.

If they hear about it then yes, they probably will think you're taking the piss (assuming they don't already). The question is: does that matter? You're off sick fair and square.

I agree and I say that as someone who had suffered from depression and anxiety since I was a child. The problem is many people think they need to 100% ready but let’s be honest. After 9 months if not now when?

There is a woman at my work that is only in about 50% of the time. Always a different reason (she makes sure to tell us all the gory details). Now she’s pregnant and of course she has HG. As much as I know it’s an awful co diction it’s very, very hard to feel much sympathy for her when her record is so appalling. Plus I’m one of the people picking up her work in her absence.

If you visit a theme park just before you go back to work, it would probably be seen as part of your recovery. If you go and then take months more off, it looks dodgier.