DH not speaking to me because I went out

[Goingforplatinum]

Met a friend yesterday for a few drinks, met around 2. DH had DD2 and DSS. I was initially only supposed to be out a couple of hours, but I haven't been out in over a year (if I ever go anywhere DD always comes with me) and was just enjoying being me, so a couple of hours led to 4 hours and I was a little bit drunk (didn't take much as haven't drank since before DD was born. H went mad last n8ght saying I was supposed to be a couple of hours and he was stuck with the kids, then just basically snuffed me so I went to bed. This morning I got up with DD and he's barely speaking to me.
AIBU for going out and being out longer then i said I would??

I don’t think you were unreasonable at going out at all. I do think you were slightly unreasonable at not letting him know you would be out for longer than expected.

Don't be daft.

He doesn't want you to have any life outside of him

It's four hours. Next time OP tell him you're going out at 2 and will be back before midnight. There. Problem solved.

Tell him to get over himself.
You will go out when, where & as you want.
You look after your, & His own DC without whining.
You were enjoying yourself, & there was no reason on God's earth you had to rush home to babysit 3 children.
Any more sulking he can leave, & take Ss with him.
Its a jealousy & control thing, it needs to be stopped pronto

What is it with these men?

my husband would have (jokingly) said “you remembered where you lived then”, made me a brew, and asked if I’ve had a good time.

I don’t expect a detailed itinerary when he goes our either. Only time we would text is if, for example, we would be late for a meal.. or something specific planned.

@BabyOnBoard90
@Ursula82

even introverts like going out with their mates sometimes and op hadn’t been out in a whole year!

objectively it was NEVER gonna be the case that she would only be 2 hours. Get a couple of cocktails deep and get immersed in catching up with your pals and the time flies. OP’s husband should have been aware of that and chuffed for his wife she had a good time! he probably was aware it was likely but pissed off that it actually happened and wifey didn’t do exactly as planned - case of the wife appliance malfunctioning that pissed him off as another poster put it

What a peach you've got yourself there.
And of course, his petulant, pathetic and spiteful response means you won't be so inclined to go out again.
Win, win for him, he thinks. Please don't fall for it.

I'd be pissed off if you were 2 hours later than you said you would be

Kids or no kids

Not going out at all is another issue

I'd just apologise for not letting him know you were going to be late and say that next time you will let him know. If he carries on sulking after that then tell him he's behaving like a sulky child just because he had to look after his own children for a few hours which is frankly ridiculous - and that you don't make a fuss like that when he goes to his Christmas party.

”objectively” 😂

Did you remind him that he was hours late back from his Christmas drinks and that he slept all the next day?

Speaking in absolute terms about strangers on the net whilst using probable is surely not of intelligence

I guess not telling him you were going to be later made the situation worse as he might have been thinking it might be even longer so had worked himself up. Had he been made aware it was going to be a couple of hours, I doubt they would have been all this drama.

I would sit down with him when he is calmer and tell him you are sorry to didn't call, time got away with you, but you also don’t appreciate his childish behaviour when you got back

he was asked to look after HIS children for an afternoon, you don’t all the time. Moving forward this is not to happen again, in fact it would be a good idea if you agreed between you when you get a couple of hours each at the weekend to do what you want and the other looks after the children. If he chose to do nothing that’s up to him but means you can get out for a while

@Courgeon the men who go on about the "ball and chain" and needing a "pass" are twats who do it for effect to blame their wives as to why they aren't out more often when actually they just can't be arsed, like the ops husband who rarely goes out.

As a pp said, a couple of extra hours in the middle of the afternoon when nothing else was planned is totally different to pulling an allnighter, being hungover the next day, or coming in after the dinner/bath/bed routine which is what gets complained about on here all the time. Yes, she could have messaged but then no doubt would have got an arsey reply and felt obliged to come back.

Jealous controlling cunt that’s what he is

and the ones sticking up for him REALLY?

stuck with the kids? Parasite

@NewFoxOldTricks

why would you be pissed off?

If you'd rocked in at 3am then I could understand him being less than impressed but you were out in the middle of the day!!!
Why on earth was it such a chore for him to actually look after his children?!!!
I'd tell him to grow up and fuck off.

Isn’t it just down to common courtesy?

You said a time
You’re going to be late
You drop a message to that effect

Did you let him know that you’d be longer than planned?

@Ursula82

nope

in that situation I wouldn’t be expecting my partner home after two hours

I would plan my own day independent of my partner

cos for me not all of my time and plans hinge on what my husband is or isn’t doing

Exactly

I went to a friend yesterday for a coffee and said I'd be home for 5. I ended up home at 7 30. I messaged to say I was setting off he called to ask if I'd eaten, and he ordered takeaway I picked it up. There is no inquisition or silent treatment.
I often go away on holiday with family and nights out with girls. although he prefers I stop away if I'm getting pissed as he hates drunk people. Not a murmur in fact he's quite excited when I go away.
This is from a guy whose ex cheated on him whilst she was going out with the girls.
I think your partner is controlling and doesn't trust you. He obviously has an idea of how women should behave.

@Goingforplatinum is there more to this? I ask as on other threads your DD is soon to be 3 and at CM 3 days a week, your ‘D’H is struggling at work and has put you in debt twice, you mentioned in another thread possible MH issues also.

is this just more ongoing issues? You should be able to see a friend and he should be able to look after the children you share. In these circumstances if it were me, like others at that time, I’d be thinking about evening meal but I would text my DH to ask if he wanted food saved and not be pissy with him as your DH has been with you.

I just wondered with what you have mentioned on other threads is this just the latest issue in a long line?