My Husband and kids forgot my Birthday

[NowYouTellMe]

Feeling disappointed that my Husband and teenage to adult kids forgot my Birthday.

Have you spoken to them about it? That is incredibly bad. I would be so sad and and hurt

happy birthday from me anyway for yesterday.

Brace yourself, by the way, for the arrival of the “birthdays are just for children / it’s your responsibility to remind them” brigade.

Happy belated birthday OP I’m sorry that’s really hurtful.

So sorry, I hope you can 'spoil' yourself instead. My son's girlfriend didn't get him a card or gift last year, he was upset too.

Nice takeaway and buy yourself something.

I don’t expect them to make it up to me, it wasn’t malicious, just overlooked. I don’t seem to matter anymore

Please sit them down and tell them how you feel. Ask them how they would feel if you just didn't bother for their birthdays. Tell them they are selfish and they have hurt you

Wow. Twice running, that's gone beyond oops.

Stop doing anything for them, and when they start to moan, say "oh I forgot". Don't apologise, don't explain.

Most definitely don't do anything for their birthdays.

Wishing you a very happy birthday for yesterday 💐 My husband is flaky with gifts. Every Christmas and birthday I order myself something that I want, order it online from somewhere like Etsy or Not on the High-street and get it gift wrapped to me with lots of love from me. Some people may find it sad but I love it, always have a little treat that I like e.g artisan gin or yummy truffles.

Maybe you should just ‘overlook’ all their birthdays for the next 12 months.
It’s utterly unacceptable.
My 10 year old remembers my birthday and makes sure she has cards and presents,
Please don’t just let this go (especially with your adult children) they need to know it matters and that their behaviour is deeply hurtful.

So will you be saying something? Are you going to forget their birthdays too? Because unless you do something nothing will change.

Happy Birthday ❤️
if they have overlooked your birthday twice that is not acceptable. Tell them what has happened, tell them that you are upset. You matter!!!! But you have to believe that you matter as well. It is not okay for them to forget your birthday. And you need to tell them that x

Happy Birthday for yesterday OP. They need to know how this makes you feel. It makes me feel really quite sad just reading the thread.

Happy birthday for yesterday!

If your that upset, send them all a joint message.
For the 2nd year running none of you remembered it was my Birthday , so I think it better we all just forgive the admission and only send facebook messages going forward.

I do the reminder in the month too. Unfortunately this is a 'female job' for some reason so we have to remind them of ours. Its not fair but if you don't remind them. They won't remember...

Well you know the answer! Forget their birthday's

Of course you matter op! Happy birthday for yesterday 💐🎂

That’s the thing that hurts isn’t it? The feeling you don’t matter and they don’t care. I’m so sorry. It’s really hurtful.

I'm sorry OP, and Happy Birthday.

I don't understand how this can happen though; is there no conversation around birthdays in advance?

It would be strange in our house if DH or I didn't say something along the lines of 'shall we ask Jane & John if they fancy dinner at the pub for my birthday?' Or 'I've arranged to do X the weekend after my birthday'. They don't just go completely unmentioned until they're upon us.

I genuinely don't understand how this happens. Do you not have conversations?
" i fancy a meal out on Friday for my birthday"
" if anyone asks I'd love some bubble bath for my birthday"

" shall we ask xyz if the dancy coming out on my birthday?"

This

This

You sound resigned to it. And if you don't say/do anything about it then this will happen again and again.
What would you like to see happen now? Do you want them to suddenly realise and apologise? How would that feel? Were they apologetic last time?

This. And Happy Birthday OP.💐

Happy Birthday OP 💐 Can you organise a treat for yourself tonight or tomorrow?

Next time there's a birthday in the family don't do anything except a breezy comment "I haven't done anything about your birthday as we seem to have stopped doing that."

Are you going to say anything?

Don't just meekly accept it OP

Be disappointed, you're allowed. And you're also allowed to express that disappointment in the strongest terms

Your family have let you down badly. Tell them.