My Husband and kids forgot my Birthday

[NowYouTellMe]

Feeling disappointed that my Husband and teenage to adult kids forgot my Birthday.

Belated birthday wishes. 💐Whilst we probably don’t need anything and our family can’t think of anything it’s the thought that counts. He/you could organise a surprise day out for each other with thought but little expense along the lines of a cycle ride, a picnic, walk, then local concert in park, pub lunch etc all local and not much cost but a whole day planned out rather than a gift. My adult children don’t forget but that maybe because one is DD? Either way it’s not acceptable.

YABU. It’s not some kind of test of how much people like you, that they remember a certain date- just remind people it’s your birthday!

YOUR birthday. I have seen so many of these threads - I’m not that excited about other people’s birthdays, just like other people’s holiday pictures.

I was talking to my daughter about my birthday this morning and what we wanted to do, why would you not have a conversation about it before it comes up? 🤷‍♀️

I read the initial headline and expected “Husband forgot to remind our small children that it was my Birthday”.

At 14/15 I would ask my Dad for money so I could go and buy Mum’s card and gift from him.

Selfish {{bleeps}}. Forget their Birthdays.

Ditto. I hate birthdays; cringe at the thought of people making a fuss of me in connection with my new age; and wish those close to me to show appreciation and consideration toward me every day, not on one 'special day'.

We are all different, as you say, and it's inconsiderate not to respect one's family members' preferences - whether by ignoring the birthday of someone like the OP who wishes for it to be acknowledged; or by inflicting birthday acknowledgements on someone like me (no doubt in the minority) who wishes for it to be ignored.

Obviously I don't know the OP's dh; and, since birthday acknowledgements are important to her, and he's forgotten twice, I suspect that he is thoughtless.

But it is not 'setting a low bar' to place a much higher value on how one's partner or family member treats one every day than on one special day. In fact, it's often a higher expectation to want people to treat one well every day, than to pull out all the stops on a 'special day'. It's not just the minimum requirement of 'not having affairs or being abusive'. It's about respecting me every day; communicating with me every day; accepting my own capacities and incapacities and strengths and weaknesses and wishes and phobias as genuine, and not dismissing them because it's inconvenient for them or because they're in a bad mood. It's actually asking a lot more of them than a birthday acknowledgement.

Sadly, I think it's this....no consequence=same behaviour.

My ex and my DC have the date of my birthday indelibly printed on their brains. No such thing as forgetting. I get phone calls and tuneless singing. And they're adults. My DS will be 52 on Saturday and DD 50 in October. I'd be very upset if they forgot.
You should start dropping hints 2 weeks before.

Absolutely. Mine is in March and around January we start discussing what we are doing for my birthday and in February I send my husband and 2 adult children my birthday list! Tickets to the theatre, or a book or perfume I would like etc.

When you're an adult, you do have a certain responsibility to muster the troops to celebrate your birthday, especially if they have a track record for forgetting and this then is an issue for you - whether it's to suggest a meal out, meal in, or ask who's making the birthday cake.