To be absolutely sick to death of men shouting at me in my car but never my husband

[Wotsitone]

I’m really fed up of being verbally abused aggressively when driving for any minor thing by male drivers. This seems to happen to me a few times a year. In 20 years of being married this had never happened to my husband.

@Wotsitone

I actually agreed that it was overly aggressive but sure, I apparently shout at other drivers or think it's ok. I don't know how you deduced that from my post, but clearly you know more than I do.

Still, you shouldn't just leave enough space for a car. Fire & ambo should be able to get through without needing to beep at you. Basic stuff. Rule 243 in the Highway Code.

If you have to pick someone up, you do so safely and sensibly. People pointing out it wasn't quite that from your description doesn't by default make them aggressive.

Yea this happens to me and my friends and even my dd. They don’t shout at men because they are too worried the man will get out of the car and it will end in violence

cowards.

This happened to me for the first time ever last week. I was in my tiny car and there were 3 blokes in a white van who pulled out behind me. I had the audacity to briefly touch my brakes at a Give Way sign and they blasted the shit out of me. Then they pulled alongside at the next set of lights, wound the window down and screamed obscenities at me before driving off, wheels screeching, when the light went green. I had to stop in the next layby as I was shaking so badly

I was once in a queue in a car park. The car in front was blocking the exit as an elderly passenger was taking a while to get in.

The car behind me bipped his horn. The driver in front assumed it was me and came to my window ranting and raving.

I had my own elderly passenger and my daughter and sister in the car, all female.

I kept explaining it wasn't me and to take it up with the (male) driver and passenger behind. He took one look and went back to his car.

Some men are more likely to shout at women and think twice before shouting at men in my experience.

I never said you were happy to shout at other drivers, I meant other people who have commented that they are happy to do that.

I was in the car and happy to move for any approaching vehicle. I didn’t leave it there and go. As I said I’m not perfect but I’m not completely thoughtless.

Interesting.

I've been driving for 50 years. Often do long journeys of 250+ miles.

I've never been shouted at but have had men playing silly buggers.

Like...

• overtaking me (back) on motorways when they realise they have been overtaken by a woman.

• speeding up when they realise a woman is trying to overtake them.

• I had one man who 'intimidated' me for about 50 miles (he was elderly and in a Volvo) - he was doing 65- 70mph on a 2-lane dual carriageway, almost deserted, quiet evening. I'd already driven about 150 miles. I would accelerate to 75, overtake him, and he would immediately speed up and overtake me. I would hold back, then he'd slow down, I'd overtake, and he would speed up again and overtake me. There were no services where I could pull over. It was game-playing.

I drive a traditional ‘man’ car and do not tend to have problems with male drivers. Occasionally an irate man gets annoyed at me not giving way when it is my right of way. Or pissed off with me for only leaving them a small gap when they’ve pushed through. There perhaps would be more instances if I were in London as I drive more assertively (without putting other road users at risk) rather than casually letting people weave and dart in front of me etc. But I regularly drive around a city with no issues and I don’t beep when I’m cut up or someone brakes quickly.

Used to get a lot of men in cars getting out and banging on the windows or pulling in front of me and stopping suddenly. Can be very frightening.

I am an outstanding confident and considerate driver - since the pandemic it’s got a lot worse.
It may be that the ones that are not shouted out look too old? Too doddery or don’t drive very much or have very young kids in the car? I didn’t ever have this when my children were young, this behaviour would scare me if I had little ones in the car - and I think I would call the police. But now I am often alone I am free game to angry little men.

I think it’s an expectation that as woman I should give way, even if it’s my right of way. As a lowly woman I should know my place on the road.
Perhaps other women cower or don’t notice the blatant sexism that is rife on the roads.

Wtf?? Now we've got age discrimination thrown in as well?! We really do have the full MN bingo card. The reason some of us women haven't been shouted at by men about our driving is because we look too old?!! 😂

I have had elderly men be very rude to me in car parks. One told me to 'mind his car door' after I'd parked in the supermarket bay next to him. This was before I'd even got out of my car- window was open. I had no intention of catching his door as my car was newer and in better condition, his was filthy and old, and I'm also very careful with doors.

He was very aggressive and I was pretty forceful back, and I told him he'd never dream of talking to a 6ft, 15 st bloke that way. He was a bully. Just because I am a woman, small and blonde, he thought he could lash out.

What else is on the bingo card?

I used to live in Birmingham for a bit, I'm Welsh. The amount of men that have shouted at me for no reason was unbelievable.

Once because I didn't let a man rush up a bus lane (which he shouldn't have been in) and cut Infront of me to avoid the traffic line.

He started yelling and I lost it I got out of my car and yelled at him through his open window. Full blown "Nessa" Welsh accent. 🤣

He curled up to a tiny little ball, saying "sorry Welsh lady, sorry"

Another incident me and late DH were driving through Oxford, and I was driving and a man yelled at me because I wouldn't enter a yellow box junction with no clear exit. He screamed stupid fucking woman, late DH 6ft4 mixed race paratrooper got out of the car and shouty man was all "I didn't mean it I'm stressed" but my temper had blown and I whipped past DH like a Jack Russel (I'm only 5ft 2 and about 8stone) and I started shouting at him, DH had to like push/pull me back into the car 🤣 that other male driver kept profusely apologising.

Moved back to Wales never been shouted at by male or femal drivers.

I'm well aware of my temper though 😳🤣

Some men even the idiots won’t scream at older people no matter how poor the driving. I see the extend good will in my experience to older people and those with children in the car - everyone else is free game.
it’s not ageism it’s my actual experience. My mother has never been screamed at.

If you can only see another drivers head, you need to raise your seat up!

I've never ever been shouted at by anyone When driving.

I think it is an English thing, as I haven’t experienced this in wales either.

OP I reckon it’s the area you live in - where I live people in general are intolerant of other drivers who get in their way .. I imagine it’s coincidence that it’s men who have shouted at you . Where I live it’s mostly women that have a go .. and I’m not thinking Major driving sins - just things like someone lets you pull out on a busy road and a third party gets upset .. or you have to slow down to avoid a massive pothole that kind of thing .

Reading some of the other responses, I realise I too have had much fewer incidents of aggressive overtaking/tailgating since changing cars to a medium sized SUV style, from a more traditionally seen as female car.

Yanbu at all op.

I once had a horrid man screaming and shouting at me in front of my two young dc (both in car seats at the time) for admittedly bad parking. There were loads of other spots but he chose to ram his car tightly next to mine making it extremely difficult for me to load said dc into the car while screaming, beeping and swearing at me aggressively. It was horrible and I was terrified but trying to keep the poor kids calm saying that he was just playing and being silly. What he didn’t realise, even when I got into the passenger seat, was that it was my dh who had parked and funnily enough when he appeared he wasn’t quite as keen to shout and scream at him. In fact he couldn’t get away fast enough.

Some men are complete bullies who absolutely would not behave like that to a man. Fucking knobbers.

I've never been screamed at despite driving almost daily in central London rush hour for the past 20 years. Must be the moisturisers I'm using right? Can't possibly be connected to my standard of driving. 😛😂

Once, literally only once, someone dared to shout at me. It was actually his fault. I'd be very surprised if he'd ever repeat that.

Or perhaps OP lives in a higher traffic area!
Do you really believe men don't treat women differently to how they treat men?

I notice. Definitely. Men tend to push through short distances and wait for longer ones. I think this is when they can’t see me and I’m presumed male due to my car

The only time I did do something perhaps stupid was when a van decided they wanted to overtake me when I pulled out of a car park. I had plenty of room but it was the end of the school run time but I was driving cautiously in case children needed to cross (stupidly there’s no zebra crossing on this piece of road and the pavement is very narrow in places). He was flashing his lights and came alongside me. I freaked. Instinct told me he was going to go in front and brake to trap me so I sped up to prevent him and darted off down a side road. He followed me so I rejoined the main road, kept going out of the village and he continued to follow me. I called 999 to find out where the nearest police station was when he decided to stop following. I didn’t retrace my steps though and went the long way home.

I agree with a pp that some men don’t like being overtaken, especially by women. It seems to happen more to me than dh.