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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely sick to death of men shouting at me in my car but never my husband

208 replies

Wotsitone · 21/01/2023 13:02

I’m really fed up of being verbally abused aggressively when driving for any minor thing by male drivers. This seems to happen to me a few times a year. In 20 years of being married this had never happened to my husband.

OP posts:
helpfulperson · 21/01/2023 13:05

I have never been shouted at by a man for my driving? Are you sure it's not your driving that's the issue? What sort of things?

silverclock222 · 21/01/2023 13:05

In 30 years I've only ever had one man shout at me and he was quite right to. Maybe consider advanced driving lessons or paying mire attention to the road rather than other drivers faces?

PAFMO · 21/01/2023 13:06

helpfulperson · 21/01/2023 13:05

I have never been shouted at by a man for my driving? Are you sure it's not your driving that's the issue? What sort of things?

This.
I'm 57 and never been shouted at by a man when I'm driving.

figmaofmyimagination · 21/01/2023 13:06

Yeah I’m not sure this is a sexism thing tbh.

BettyUnderswoob · 21/01/2023 13:06

Perhaps he's a better driver than you?

I must say, I've only been shouted at 2 or 3 times in 35 years of driving, so it makes me wonder why it happens to you so often!

CoalCraft · 21/01/2023 13:06

As per pp, this doesn't happen to me. It's either your area or your driving!

ClockingTime · 21/01/2023 13:06

In over 40 years of driving, I've never been shouted at while driving by either a man or a woman.
Have you considered that maybe you're a shit driver?

bloodywhitecat · 21/01/2023 13:06

Likewise, I can't remember the last time I got shouted at for my driving. In what kind of situations are you being shouted at?

Coffeellama · 21/01/2023 13:06

Sounds like your driving is not very good. I’ve never been shouted at, my ex DH was a crap driver and regularly shouted at. It’s not always about sex, sometimes it’s about shitty driving!

ReamsOfCheese · 21/01/2023 13:06

This has never happened to me in 13 years of driving. The only time someone ever got aggressive at me was a woman a few months ago who couldn't comprehend the "priority over oncoming traffic" signs and pushed me off the road then stopped, reversed to where I was stopped in a queue of traffic, and had a go at me for peeping at her.
Are you sure it's not your driving?

Dartmoorcheffy · 21/01/2023 13:06

I've been driving 30 years and never had this problem. What sort of incidents are happening for them to shout.

Seeline · 21/01/2023 13:07

I've never been shouted at by anyone for my driving, make or female. Been driving nearly 40 years, mainly in London.
Are you sure it's not your driving?

Chowtime · 21/01/2023 13:07

YANBU - I notice this all the time in the west midlands. They very often check first, to make sure i'm a woman, and then they shout and swear.

Chowtime · 21/01/2023 13:08

So what if she's a shit driver! The point is, they wouldn't do it a male driver.

FawnFrenchieMum · 21/01/2023 13:08

Yes as others have said the only time I’ve ever been shouted at it was well and truly deserved.

Coffeellama · 21/01/2023 13:09

Chowtime · 21/01/2023 13:07

YANBU - I notice this all the time in the west midlands. They very often check first, to make sure i'm a woman, and then they shout and swear.

Not likely. Also not surprising that there’s more than one dodgy driver on mumsnet! I haven’t shouted much, but when I do it’s an instant reaction, I don’t check what the driver looks like first. We aren’t all afraid of the men.

FrangipaniBlue · 21/01/2023 13:09

I've not had it as much in the car but it's certainly noticeable when I'm cycling!!

Go out on my own or all female friends and I'm shouted at or abused by a male car driver pretty much every ride.

Funny thing, it NEVER happens if I'm with any of my make cycling friends.

funinthesun19 · 21/01/2023 13:09

Chowtime · 21/01/2023 13:08

So what if she's a shit driver! The point is, they wouldn't do it a male driver.

That’s the point OP is trying to make!
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who got it.

WetBandits · 21/01/2023 13:09

It’s probably your driving...😬

NeedAHoliday2021 · 21/01/2023 13:09

I’ve never been shouted at for my driving. Are you a terrible driver?

Summerhillsquare · 21/01/2023 13:10

Yes, massively annoying.

FrangipaniBlue · 21/01/2023 13:10

*male

Coffeellama · 21/01/2023 13:10

funinthesun19 · 21/01/2023 13:09

That’s the point OP is trying to make!
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who got it.

Show quote history

I got it! I just don’t agree. Men drivers get shouted at too. Not everything is sexism

Flapjackquack · 21/01/2023 13:12

I’ve been shouted at twice by men. One was when a man pulled out in front of me in poor visibility, in too small a gap, and I beeped my horn to alert him to the cyclist he was about to hit. He stopped his car in the middle of the road to come and scream at me and try to open my car door.

The other was because I didn’t stop and let a man out of a side turning. He raced up the outside of me and told me he was going fuck me up and to watch myself.

Don’t think those were my poor driving. Never has happened to my husband either.

BethDuttonsTwin · 21/01/2023 13:12

I never make eye contact with other drivers. If they let me go I smile and nod and flash my hazards to say thank you. Never look them in the face though, just off to the side but enough to see what kind of mood they’re in towards me. Learned not to years ago when driving round a major city. There’s a couple of benefits to this approach, I don’t feel threatened and scared at being abused and they don’t get to dump their rage on me, thus leaving them to internalise it and have to carry it around for the rest of their day 😊