AIBU to carry on ‘white’ lie about crispy aromatic duck to the DC?

[KellyJs]

If you’re looking for a thought provoking thread this isn’t it, but I am not sure what to do and looking for outside help, as my family just laugh when I try and ask them for advice.

I love a Chinese takeaway, part of the order (as is most peoples right?!) is a 1/4 crispy aromatic duck. DH had pet ducks growing up, and when I first ordered a Chinese takeaway in the early days of our relationship he got quite upset about the duck (he had never had a Chinese before) and refused to eat it.

So ever since then when I’ve ordered a Chinese for myself I’ve told a white lie that my starter is actually crispy pork, and that I took on his feedback re the duck being upsetting for him. He doesn’t eat the pork/duck so I’m not lying to him about something he consumes, but to avoid the unnecessary hurt I thought it was a harmless white lie at the time.

This has now been going on for 12 years, my family are involved, as when we order as a group they all keep up the pretence it’s pork.

However, I’m not sure what to do now DC are at an age they participate in family takeaway nights.

Do I keep up the lie, and tell them it’s pork, as if I tell them the truth one of them will blab to their dad, and my whole porky palace of lies will crumble around me.

I know I’m unreasonable for letting it get this far, but I can’t go back in time.

So AIBU to also lie to the children about the duck?

YABU - you need to come clean to everyone involved

YANBU - it’s to late now, keep lying until you die

I honestly do not understand the impulse to infantilise men in such a way. He’s a big boy, I think he can handle the fact you eat duck.

Lying for 12yrs though, that’s pretty major. Hopefully he will not hold that against you.

@KellyJs
Welcome to the security services.

My local Chinese does crispy lamb as a starter.
My suggestion is you ring around ALL your locals until you find one that does either that or pork then transfer your custom to them evermore
(tell him your regular had rats 😂)
failing that - give it up...its just an addiction
I also don't think that he is as thick as a plank or that you are dim... I actually think he sounds sweet and trusting and you are lovable but hilarious.
Ignore the bitches, many of us are obviously hitting menopause

It doesn’t say he dictated it/asked her to stop. Sounds to me like he’d never had a chinese and was surprised and a little upset about the duck l, which is fine, he is allowed to not like the idea of something, but she just decided to start pretending. He never asked her to.

If you do confess, tell him it is Crispy Pekin (which is the breed of duck used in the vast majority of chinese catering), or tell him it is pork from one of these:

I'm gonna need to find your other threads in this mumsnet labyrinth.... I'm enjoying it like a crispy duck 😬

It amazes me how some people think it's ok to eat some types of bird/animal and not others.

Chicken tastes nice, duck does not.

Simples.

1. Your DH most certainly knows it's duck, but pretends not to.
2. You could share the secret with your DC, and then wait and see which one spills the beans first. It will help you as an impromptu assessment of personality. My parents always used to test me and my siblings in this way before I figured out it was a test.

Don't most order online now? I do on a local food order and delivery app. Supporting local buisnesses not the big chains like just eat and the others do.

Picked up my Chinese takeaway last night and as I got into the car I noticed a pair of eyes looking out of the top of the bag. Then they disappeared again. A few seconds later it happened again, a pair of eyes taking a quick look out then popping back in the bag. I went back to the shop and said,” There’s a pair of eyes keep looking out of this bag and then disappearing again!” The guy said,” Aahh, you no worry, is Peking Duck.”

If I were in your shoes I’d either stop ordering it (but you say that’s not an option!) or say “oh they stopped doing crispy pork. I’d really like to order the duck. I know it upsets you so I don’t expect you to be happy but I’m hoping you won’t be too upset?”… basically come into the light without admitting the epic lie!

I wouldn't tell the DC. Somebody might spill the beans. Stop eating 'pork and started eating duck and maybe he'll accept it. After all he's eating pretty fishes.

THIS!!!! 😈😈 Hahaaaaa!!!

After reading this thread for days I wanted crispy duck i got it two nights ago from a different Chinese takeaway and it was dry 😔