AIBU to carry on ‘white’ lie about crispy aromatic duck to the DC?

[KellyJs]

If you’re looking for a thought provoking thread this isn’t it, but I am not sure what to do and looking for outside help, as my family just laugh when I try and ask them for advice.

I love a Chinese takeaway, part of the order (as is most peoples right?!) is a 1/4 crispy aromatic duck. DH had pet ducks growing up, and when I first ordered a Chinese takeaway in the early days of our relationship he got quite upset about the duck (he had never had a Chinese before) and refused to eat it.

So ever since then when I’ve ordered a Chinese for myself I’ve told a white lie that my starter is actually crispy pork, and that I took on his feedback re the duck being upsetting for him. He doesn’t eat the pork/duck so I’m not lying to him about something he consumes, but to avoid the unnecessary hurt I thought it was a harmless white lie at the time.

This has now been going on for 12 years, my family are involved, as when we order as a group they all keep up the pretence it’s pork.

However, I’m not sure what to do now DC are at an age they participate in family takeaway nights.

Do I keep up the lie, and tell them it’s pork, as if I tell them the truth one of them will blab to their dad, and my whole porky palace of lies will crumble around me.

I know I’m unreasonable for letting it get this far, but I can’t go back in time.

So AIBU to also lie to the children about the duck?

YABU - you need to come clean to everyone involved

YANBU - it’s to late now, keep lying until you die

Different option. Don't admit to lying about it but start ordering the crispy duck because you like it and ask if anyone else wants to try it. If anyone complains say you like it, will continue to eat it, etc
Make sure you have proper arguments in place if they don't like it. E.g it's OK to eat meat, it's not different to eating cow or chicken, no one else entitled to control your diet

I'm assuming he isn't actually a child (although saying he's an adult might be pushing it). Tell him the truth, point out that you, another adult, can eat whatever the hell you want to and he needs to get over himself. You didn't walk into his childhood and eat his pets in front of him. You ordered a duck from a Chinese. He gets to like it or lump it, not throw a fit because you choose to eat it.

I think this is a bizzare thing to do. Either be upfront with him (because he is being ridiculous and has double standards if he thinks it's ok to kill pigs and chickens to eat but not ducks) or dont' eat it. Lying is ridiculous.

I had pet rabbits long into adulthood, but thought nothing of dealing with a friend's gift of shot bunnies each week. Delicious! Your husband is being unreasonable and so are you, pandering to this.

Looking forward to the Daily Mail write-up tomorrow.

Bombay Duck is actually fish
*adds to the confusion

This

yes a duck was a pet

but you can’t lie forever

maybe a white lie of takeaway has changed suppliers and now menu has changed and will be crispy duck not pork

but insane eats other meats happily like bacon sausages chicken etc

It's funny, I started reading this thread thinking it was light-hearted and entertaining, and the more I think about, the sadder it all is.

For ducks sake 🤣

I haven’t read any other responses, only your post. WTF! This is so weird! Why did you do it in the first place? Even 12 years ago surely he was a big enough boy to know ducks like lots of other animals get eaten. So what if he got upset, he’d have gotten over it.
Honestly, the easiest thing to do at this point is just order something else because you’ve turned something very silly into something more serious, him being humiliated by family joining in and lying to him! I certainly wouldn’t tell him that! If i found out my partner and his family had been doing that i’d probably consider leaving. Not over the duck of course, but my partner and family treating me like a child.

This ☝or state that the takeaway have stopped doing the pork so you had to order duck (when next getting off the phone to order) then always nonchalantly never pay any attention to what is ordered when next ordering duck and if he does saying anything - oh but that was years ago darling.

Don't tell him about past orders, just order duck from now and say that's what you want and he isn't eating it

No, don't add to the lies by making up more absurd lies! Either don't say anything about the past orders or tell the truth.

There is place where i live that also does this, they do occasionally have duck but mostly serve the pork, it's really nice!

Do this OP, if he questions why you'd order it, then keep it a secret or start ordering something else.

Not sure why people think everyone should like a Chinese, I don't and don't like an Indian, pizza or pasta either.

Have tried different dishes and finally gave up after yet another disappointing takeaway over New Year's.

Thank you for brightening my day! 🦆🍜☀️

Omg

its dh

i thought it was dc

seriously get a grip

hes an adult

he would have to be a thick twat to not know Chinese's do crispy duck

The deceit is quite elaborate isn’t it? Is it worth it? Maybe just stop ordering duck. Although it sounds like it’s quite important to you.

Am I right in think you colluded with his abusive parents to lie to him? If so that’s completely unreasonable.
Stop ordering the duck. No food is that important.

I do NOT think you're being unreasonable, its harmless.
I just logged in to show my appreciation to the line
"and my whole porky palace of lies"
had me howling, thank you😂

Time to publicly order crispy duck so you don’t have to keep up the pretence. Tell your DH you’ve gone off crispy pork and you appreciate he’s uncomfortable but you’re not forcing him to eat the duck. If he moans tell him you saw the fim Babe recently and it’s put you off eating pork…😉

Is he really that bad that you feel the need to hide what food you like to eat. Eat whatever you want without making a lie - it's not up to him to decide your dietary preferences. I'm surprised your family have joined in with the charade to be honest - at best, it's weird.

Is it ok for DH to dictate what she eats though, It’s not like he’s allergic and she could kill him. Totally unreasonable for someone to expect someone else to stop eating what they like because of their own opinions. He’s not even veggie or vegan so can’t claim it’s because it’s got a face

This is brilliant 😂 I just wanted to say we went our for Chinese buffet not long ago and Dd 12 went and got chicken balls with curry sauce and then was horrified eating it that it tasted off....she had intact picked up banana fritters and smothered them in curry sauce 🤣🤣

Also, personally I would just start getting something else to avoid having to come clean