AIBU to carry on ‘white’ lie about crispy aromatic duck to the DC?

[KellyJs]

If you’re looking for a thought provoking thread this isn’t it, but I am not sure what to do and looking for outside help, as my family just laugh when I try and ask them for advice.

I love a Chinese takeaway, part of the order (as is most peoples right?!) is a 1/4 crispy aromatic duck. DH had pet ducks growing up, and when I first ordered a Chinese takeaway in the early days of our relationship he got quite upset about the duck (he had never had a Chinese before) and refused to eat it.

So ever since then when I’ve ordered a Chinese for myself I’ve told a white lie that my starter is actually crispy pork, and that I took on his feedback re the duck being upsetting for him. He doesn’t eat the pork/duck so I’m not lying to him about something he consumes, but to avoid the unnecessary hurt I thought it was a harmless white lie at the time.

This has now been going on for 12 years, my family are involved, as when we order as a group they all keep up the pretence it’s pork.

However, I’m not sure what to do now DC are at an age they participate in family takeaway nights.

Do I keep up the lie, and tell them it’s pork, as if I tell them the truth one of them will blab to their dad, and my whole porky palace of lies will crumble around me.

I know I’m unreasonable for letting it get this far, but I can’t go back in time.

So AIBU to also lie to the children about the duck?

YABU - you need to come clean to everyone involved

YANBU - it’s to late now, keep lying until you die

I saw that. Attention seeking maybe. 🤷‍♀️
I suppose there’s no real harm and lots obviously enjoy this sort of thread, but it’s a little weird.

I don’t lie to my dc, it breaks down trust. Tell them and apologise for yourself and the poor duck!! 🦆

YABU for not simply stating that despite his choice, you are capable of making your own.
Why would you lie about something so irrelevant?

We had friends who were given two ducks as pets and they called one Crispy and the other Aromatic.
They really were aggressive and went for anyone coming into the garden, including the owners and their kids. They were Muscovy ducks, a large (and nasty) breed.
i think they were sent to live on a farm....

OMG I have just realised this Dh
WTAH op
He has been chomping on Jemima for 12 years!
Sureky he can taste the difference between Jemima and chicken 😳

Easy. Order duck, eat it, say she fancied a change.

He can continue not eating duck, but he doesn't get to force that decision on his wife & kids.

I wouldn't let him know you have been lying for
However, I wouldn't drag the DC into lying for you/with you.

I think it's time to say you are eating duck going forwards. He will have to get over it.

lying for ages

Keep lying lol

"He doesn’t eat the pork/duck so I’m not lying to him about something he consumes"

He doesn't eat the duck.

How hoisinful of you to keep up this porky for 12 years

He doesn't eat any of the Chinese food as he doesn't like it. He has fish and chips instead. It's all in the OP's posts.

OP, have you tried the crispy pork starter? It might be even better than the duck, and if so problem solved.
❌🦆❌

✅🐷🥞🥒✅

Gosh he sounds a delicate little flower. There’s a big bad world out there and he needs to know us grown ups eat ducks. We’ve just broken it to my 4 year old that we eat Peppa Pigs. She’s taken it ok, time you fessed your to DH. Hopefully they’ll be no tears.

Personally, I am enjoying the throught that somewhere on Dadsnet is a post 'AIBU to believe my wife might be having an affair with the man at the Chinese takeaway because she never calls when I'm in the room?'

Your DH is the UNREASONABLE one, not you.

Fine if you’re picking up the bill 🦆

This sounds amusing but if DH is a sensitive type then he may be upset .Lots of people would balk at this ,Maybe order something else and tell him you fancied a change .Probably could do with one anyway after 12 years!

So just stop eating duck, ffs. All of this unnecessary angst. And please don’t come back with ‘but it tastes so good’. You’ll survive.

Either fess up or stop eating it. It’s that simple. You’re behaving like child.

Enjoy your duck and take it to the grave 😝

So you and your family have been lying about this, in fact turned it into “hilarious” joke at your DH’s expense for 12 years and you think it’s funny? Sorry to be Debbie Downer but I think that’s actually incredibly callous and mean. If I was your DH I would be so upset to find out I’d been the butt of your jokes for years. To think you’re now asking whether to rope your kids in rather than take the very mature approach of either not ordering it when you’re with him or simply telling him to his face is a measure of your character.

Reminds me of the ‘winter hours’ for the gym me and DH used to go to.

Somehow my DH got it into his head that our gym had different earlier closing times in the winter. So for 1/2 a year whenever he would suggest we go to the gym I’d Innocently ask him if they were open due to the ‘winter hours’. Mind you this is at 11am on a Sunday. He would agree and we’d go to brunch instead. Finally one day I had to admit to him that our gym didn’t have winter hours I was just not interested in going.

The funny thing is that he went to that gym all the time during the week so could clearly see the hours posted.

People believe what they want to believe.

I really dislike lies like this. They seem harmless but they are not. I would stop ordering it altogether.

Yes. Particularly nasty is the getting everyone else involved.

More or less what I suggested before, but if he's still truly upset by it (it's not just a whim, or controlling) then crispy duck isn't exactly a staple food that you can't live without. And they have all been lying to him, probably laughing a bit behind his back for years, not cool.