Teenage boys ruined my carpets - should I contact their parents?

[thecranberries]

My 16 yr old DC had a birthday party last night. About 40 teenagers attending. Fine. My DC is responsible as are her friends. I went out, obviously, and came back at 11.30pm.

I found a bunch of girls mopping my wooden floor and stone kitchen floor, two girls picking up clumps of mud, one girl vacuuming up mud (ruined my Dyson as mud was wet) and various other girls using towels to wipe down what they could.

My DC told me what boys had done: they'd gone into the garden beyond the decking, despite being told repeatedly not to do so. They went into my garden shed and took out garden spade, fork and rake and just dumped them into garden, leaving shed door open. They ruined my lawn. And they'd repeatedly gone in and out - they all wear those clumpy trainers - and just spread the mud. (It's been very wet recently).

After being told many times not to do so, she finally told all the boys to leave, and as they were doing so, some attempted to filch things from my home, so DC and a few other girls checked the boy's pockets before ejecting them.

All the girls responsible, well behaved, and considerate. All the boys - led by one especially - irresponsible, disrespectful, boarish, and the lead boy - simply kept laughing when asked to behave responsibly and not rile up the others.

So, AIBU to call the parents of the lead boy and tell them exactly what their DS is like? I have to pay for my carpets and rugs to be cleaned and spend my day deep cleaning my home from debris I had not factored in rather than just the normal tidy up.

I know my DC will be extremely embarrassed at my actions, ie calling the parents of lead boy - but at the same time, I am left with an unexpected bill and extra work at a particularly time-poor moment in my week.

Just for record, all boys come from 'nice' families, and go to very good state and private schools.

WWYD?

Over the years we have learned not to invite boys to any of our parties - only a very trusted few are allowed. We've had the worst experiences with the little fuckers otherwise and my kids themselves absolutelty don't want any of them round that they completely don't trust.

I am curious as to whether any of the posters who say contact the boys parents have teenagers themselves. We had parties at my home as daughter's birthday was new years eve but we stayed in a separate room and upstairs was out of bounds. There was always some damage and they were nice kids.

You allowed 40 kids in your house for a party, that’s an invite for damage.

If my teen behaved poorly, I would want to know about it. There would very likely be consequences at home. I would thank OP for letting me know.

I would also be simultaneously furious with the parent who hosted an unsupervised party. If I could impose consequences on the parent I would. The natural consequences of her choices will have to suffice since I have no jurisdiction.

😂

Definitely not sheltered.

But none of the house parties among my friendship group when I was a teen nor any of the ones in my DSs friendship group have resulted in the level of destruction that some posters on this thread seem to consider "normal".

I've just asked DH and he said the same of his friends too.

Why don't you just claim on your insurance

Out of interest. How old and how many?

Exactly!!!

Indeed she has!

Oh and what damage?

Not RTFT but I would contact the parents. We left around 30 at our house for DS's 16th (supposed to be 20 max naturally) in our small house, and came home to a couple of broken glasses which had been cleaned up, crisps trod into a rug, again clean up attempted and some vomit in a flower bed, all par for the course we thought. Vomit boy apologised the next day. But attempted stealing a deliberate trashing is awful. We made upstairs out of bounds, but still changed our bedsheets before going to bed just in case, as we both went to many teenage parties and felt it was for the best.

I'd expect a low level of damage and cleaning required yes, but not total destruction!

Someone upthread mentioned kitchen cupboards ripped off WTAF??

If it was my son I'd want to know what he had been up to and would be extremely apologetic however I would also wonder where you as the parents were while all this was happening.

😂

Totally on you for leaving them to it. I am pretty liberal about most things but not about parties at home. I wouldn’t contact the parents.

30 16 year olds alone in a small house with alcohol… you are the OP should be besties! 😂

40 teenagers? Sorry, but but that's on you.
The parents won't care, they'll ask their boys if they do and the boys will all point fingers at other kids or the girls, and say the garden was already muddy...
lesson learned

I hate to point out the obvious - but you left 40 teenagers in your house, there as bound to be some damage.

If it was my kid causing the damage I'd still want to know though.

40 unsupervised 16yr olds, I think you got of lightly.

You're an idiot to leave 40 teenagers in your house unsupervised.

Life lesson. Suck it up and move on

YABU. You're lucky you only need to deal with a filthy carpet after letting 40 teens loose in your house! Get them professionally cleaned and chalk it up as a lesson learned.

But you were rude. Own it.....

Good bloody point