Teenage boys ruined my carpets - should I contact their parents?

[thecranberries]

My 16 yr old DC had a birthday party last night. About 40 teenagers attending. Fine. My DC is responsible as are her friends. I went out, obviously, and came back at 11.30pm.

I found a bunch of girls mopping my wooden floor and stone kitchen floor, two girls picking up clumps of mud, one girl vacuuming up mud (ruined my Dyson as mud was wet) and various other girls using towels to wipe down what they could.

My DC told me what boys had done: they'd gone into the garden beyond the decking, despite being told repeatedly not to do so. They went into my garden shed and took out garden spade, fork and rake and just dumped them into garden, leaving shed door open. They ruined my lawn. And they'd repeatedly gone in and out - they all wear those clumpy trainers - and just spread the mud. (It's been very wet recently).

After being told many times not to do so, she finally told all the boys to leave, and as they were doing so, some attempted to filch things from my home, so DC and a few other girls checked the boy's pockets before ejecting them.

All the girls responsible, well behaved, and considerate. All the boys - led by one especially - irresponsible, disrespectful, boarish, and the lead boy - simply kept laughing when asked to behave responsibly and not rile up the others.

So, AIBU to call the parents of the lead boy and tell them exactly what their DS is like? I have to pay for my carpets and rugs to be cleaned and spend my day deep cleaning my home from debris I had not factored in rather than just the normal tidy up.

I know my DC will be extremely embarrassed at my actions, ie calling the parents of lead boy - but at the same time, I am left with an unexpected bill and extra work at a particularly time-poor moment in my week.

Just for record, all boys come from 'nice' families, and go to very good state and private schools.

WWYD?

Eh? The poster whose kids they were having a go at were total strangers to the person who posted nasty remarks as confirmed by said poster.

How in hell does that relate to your circumstances and what you are waffling on about?

And yet I am the stupid one!🙄

The guests were also from good state schools though.

Well yeah I do agree that it was naive of OP to let 40 teenagers loose in her house, without supervision. I suppose some mess was to be expected.

But it still isn’t an excuse for them to be feral/destroy property that doesn’t belong to them and OP absolutely should contact their parents. It’s just wanton destruction.

40 x unsupervised 60 year olds? You are mad. I would've also put down thick plastic floor roll.

My 16 yr old DC had a birthday party last night. About 40 teenagers attending

I only read the first two lines and I knew what was coming.

This is the reason my DCs were not allowed parties. They told me too many tales of people's houses being destroyed by parties. Kitchen units ripped off the walls, loos broken, carpets ruined.

No thanks.

I couldn’t even fit 40 teenagers in my house!

Nor could I. OP must have a mansion lol.

Just wondered if the OP will also ca the girl who broke her Dyson's parents to complain about that or the girl who is mopping wooden floors to complain about that? Both could possibly cause more damage than mud on the carpet. Before anyone says anything I wouldn't be phoning anyone - especially if I was daft enough to leave 40 16 year olds in the house . Indeed if it was DD was 16 were some of the guests still 15 after all it is only January.

Yeah right 🙄

You lost me at ‘good/private schools’ 🙄

40?! Good god op have you never seen project X?!

40 teenagers in your home.. unsupervised! You are braver than me!

This is why I don’t let my teens have house parties.. even if I’m home 😫

Harsh lesson learned.
Teenage boys are notoriously irresponsible.
Why do you think venues won’t allow groups of teens to hire their rooms?

But again you don't know my son. Are you on glue?

Do people genuinely believe that 16 years old traipsing mud in and around someone's home from the garden is acceptable to the point OP should suck it up?

Because I don't.

16 years old is old enough to understand wrongdoing and to follow a simple request.

I would contact all the boys parents. I wouldn't expect compensation but I'd want them to know what little shits their sons were.

and don't even get me started on the fact they let the girls clean up after them!

But the poster being referred to doesn't know my sons. She just thinks it's OK to call kids she's never met names. That was rather the point and I thank @JimHensonWasAGenius, who've you've just called stupid btw, for their support. The way some so called grown ups on here behave beggars belief!

OP has no proof of who did what, though.

If someone rang me and said "I was out last night but my house was trashed by the 40 teenagers I invited over, and I want you to have a word with your son about the damage he did" I would laugh. A lot. Then hang up.

OP chose to go out and leave her home and belongings in the hands of 40+ teenagers all night. That's on her, not on anyone else.

OP should suck it up because she was stupid enough to leave 40+ teenagers unattended in her house all evening.

YABU for going out

Apparently the OP has left this thread unsupervised too 🤣

Yes.

Since she was there she only has the word of some girls who were trying to clean up and minimise the trouble they were in that any polite request to remove shoes or not go in the garden was made.

There are behavioural effects of being in large groups, which means that things often escalate and get out of control. 40 teenagers unsupervised in a house is a stupid idea.

The OP should suck this up because it was entirely predictable. And because she actually has no idea what happened.

Because she went out and left a house full of 16 year olds to their own devices. All night.

Obviously that was a terrible idea. You could see the signs it would end in mess and an annoyed parent from space.

I went out, obviously...

That was your mistake.

There is no way there's anything obvious about leaving a house full of teenagers to their own devices.

You had the party, 40 people? Sorry this is on you OP

Except that it won’t end well.

That’s extremely obvious.

It strikes me that the OP and some of the people posting on this thread must have had very sheltered teen years to have not experienced or at least heard about many teen house-parties which descend into chaos.