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Original poster

Boyfriend don’t have a place to stay, should I let him stay at my house.

280 replies

AmyJahabee · 20/01/2023 21:03

40year old Boyfriend live with mum and step dad. Recently had issues with his stepdad and had to leave the house, step dad doesn’t want him living in the house and boyfriend has been staying at my house for two weeks. His mum text him saying he had arguments with the stepdad and has kicked him from the bedroom so stepdad is sleeping in boyfriend room, so now he kinda have no room in the house. His mum text saying should I bring you your work clothes save you driving? I was like but you could go home as things should cool off now. I feel the mum doesn’t want him in the house but keeping quiet, whilst step dad is been voicing his out. I don’t want to live with him yet as I have kids and just not ready for living together and would prefer for us to be engaged before living together. We have been together for a year.

while he is trying to find another place to stay should I let him stay at my house and just worried eventually this will turn to living together without any proper discussion.

he has a job but bad credit for mortgage and just don’t understand why he wouldn’t rent. He’s been living there on off for 5 year after separation from his ex wife.

OP posts:
Rowthe · 20/01/2023 21:51

Dont let him move in.

Put your kids first.

Once he moves in he wont move out.

TomatoSandwiches · 20/01/2023 21:53

I've got second hand vaginal dryness from your posts op, get him out of your home, the only people you have a responsibility to house are your children.

lbzbean · 20/01/2023 21:55

TomatoSandwiches · 20/01/2023 21:53

I've got second hand vaginal dryness from your posts op, get him out of your home, the only people you have a responsibility to house are your children.

Absolutely. The lack of self esteem required to find this guy attractive is astounding.

Lennybenny · 20/01/2023 21:57

Haven't read it all...

Answer is NO!!!

dontleaveitthere · 20/01/2023 21:58

comfortablylesslumpy · 20/01/2023 21:49

One word- No.

Three words- He's a Cocklodger.

This. A million times this.

Jedsnewstar · 20/01/2023 21:59

He earns 70k why doesn’t he rent? He’s a freeloader. Get rid, and not just from your home. How on earth is this attractive to you.

PearPickingPorky · 20/01/2023 22:01

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/01/2023 21:46

How much has he financially contributed to your household over the last two weeks?

How long have you been dating?

I expect you’ll say no and he’ll either beg or turn nasty. Neither a good look.

Excellent questions.

justforthisnow · 20/01/2023 22:02

There is not one single attractive aspect to this man based on your info.

RelentlessForwardProgress · 20/01/2023 22:02

Think of it like a test:
Tell him no and see what his reaction is.

If you say no and he understands, is perfectly lovely to you, and doesn't try and stay with you anyway, he's worth dating

If you say no and he has a hissy fit/breaks up with you/tries to manipulate you into changing your mind, he's a bad bargain and not worth your time

BornBlonde · 20/01/2023 22:03

BeExcellent2EachOther · 20/01/2023 21:43

He's a middle aged man who has relied on his wife and then his mummy, and then his girlfriend and then his mummy again (when his gf had presumably had enough) and now you to house him.

He needs to grow up!

His housing issues are his problem to resolve, not yours.

I'll bet if you kick him out, he'll be weaselling his way into another woman's home within weeks; are you sure it's you he likes, or the free bed and board??

@BeExcellent2EachOther

This

emptythelitterbox · 20/01/2023 22:03

EL8888 · 20/01/2023 21:05

The cocklodger siren is starting to wail

😂

Nimbostratus100 · 20/01/2023 22:04

no. He leaves tomorrow morning. stuff the "week's deadline" mentioned by an PP. He needs out so you can spend the weekend with your children, so tell him now hes going tomorrow first thing. In fact, in your shoes, I'd be telling him to leave right now and return to his Mums house, so my children wake up in the morning to just their family in their home. They must have lost at least one family weekend already . No. just no. Family time is too precious

Boiledbeetle · 20/01/2023 22:07

Here are the options

No.
Nope.
Definitely not.
Fucking hell no
Are you insane???

ChrisTrepidation · 20/01/2023 22:08

The cock lodger is strong in this one.

Stop feeling guilty. It is NOT your job to house this man. He earns 70k a year, he could very easily find a place to rent. He doesn't want to though because he prefers to sponge off other people (or more accurately women)

Put your children first and get him out. It is their home, not a lodging house for a man who can't be arsed to sort out his own shit.

BlueBooh · 20/01/2023 22:09

Boiledbeetle · 20/01/2023 22:07

Here are the options

No.
Nope.
Definitely not.
Fucking hell no
Are you insane???

This! 💯 no!!!

Liorae · 20/01/2023 22:09

lbzbean · 20/01/2023 21:55

Absolutely. The lack of self esteem required to find this guy attractive is astounding.

Show quote history

Men like this home in on single mothers with low self esteem by instinct.

BangAndTheDustIsGone · 20/01/2023 22:10

No way, you know once he’s got his foot in the door you won’t be able to get rid of him.

kierenthecommunity · 20/01/2023 22:12

If he earns that much and ‘can’t’ rent he’s either a) seriously tight fisted b) shit with money c) gambling d) spending all his money on something spurious e) combination of the first four

none of those are especially thrilling options

Pinkbonbon · 20/01/2023 22:12

Don't let him bs you about not being able to rent due to bad credit either. He could easily afford to pay the full 6 or 12 months up front.

I wonder if he even paid rent to his parents over the 5 years he lived there? Doubt it.

Oddbobbyboo · 20/01/2023 22:12

If he's on 70k and has a 60k inheritance and still cannot sort his 💩 out..... we'll.... what would be the point.

I just don't understand what some women think 🤔

The best thing about this post is that you've posted it.... because deep in your heart you know the answer x

She just needed the assurance xx

Good Luck 💗

Charlize43 · 20/01/2023 22:13

Earns £70K and can't rent a place? Not even a house share or a sublet?

emptythelitterbox · 20/01/2023 22:15

I can't find a single thing remotely attractive about a 40 year old man who refuses to grow up.

His parents are likely sick of his lazy arse freeloading off them.

How is it you a woman with children, and I'm guessing you're not on near 100k salary like he is, manages to have and pay for your own place like a grown up does but this 40 year old man can't seem to do that?

Tell him to sling his hook elsewhere then delete and block this cocklodger.

Then raise your bar much higher.

Backstreets · 20/01/2023 22:15

He doesn’t rent because rentals don’t come with live-in maids. Sounds like his mum is going on strike.

my cousin (also 40!) stayed with his parents for about a year after his divorce happy as a clam to have my aunt cook the food, look after his kid, do laundry… she eventually started stuffing ads for rental flats under his door.

BunchHarman · 20/01/2023 22:18

Protect your kids. Get rid of him.

simplefree · 20/01/2023 22:18

sounds like my ex sponging off from his parents who are desperate to get rid of him - they have arguments too but it is all prompt by my ex, he is too problematic and obnoxious

he tried a house share but no one can cope living with him

too immature and hopeless at money management to get he is on rented place nevermind a mortgage

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