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AIBU?

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Original poster

Boyfriend don’t have a place to stay, should I let him stay at my house.

280 replies

AmyJahabee · 20/01/2023 21:03

40year old Boyfriend live with mum and step dad. Recently had issues with his stepdad and had to leave the house, step dad doesn’t want him living in the house and boyfriend has been staying at my house for two weeks. His mum text him saying he had arguments with the stepdad and has kicked him from the bedroom so stepdad is sleeping in boyfriend room, so now he kinda have no room in the house. His mum text saying should I bring you your work clothes save you driving? I was like but you could go home as things should cool off now. I feel the mum doesn’t want him in the house but keeping quiet, whilst step dad is been voicing his out. I don’t want to live with him yet as I have kids and just not ready for living together and would prefer for us to be engaged before living together. We have been together for a year.

while he is trying to find another place to stay should I let him stay at my house and just worried eventually this will turn to living together without any proper discussion.

he has a job but bad credit for mortgage and just don’t understand why he wouldn’t rent. He’s been living there on off for 5 year after separation from his ex wife.

OP posts:
Swimswam · 20/01/2023 21:04

No

Greensleevevssnotnose · 20/01/2023 21:04

Err no

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/01/2023 21:04

Absolutely no fucking way. Don’t be a mug. You’ll never get rid of him and you’ve got to prioritise your children.

NewBootsAndRanty · 20/01/2023 21:04

Nah

TangledWebOfDeception · 20/01/2023 21:05

No.

itswednesdayy · 20/01/2023 21:05

There’s a reason his family don’t want him there. You’re going to regret having him live with you, listen to what his parents are saying about his behaviour

zurala · 20/01/2023 21:05

No! He needs to go home or ideally get his own place. He sounds like a potential cocklodger. Is he paying you rent and bills, and doing housework? I bet he isn't.

Get him out and I'd bin him as well. He doesn't sound an attractive prospect at all.

EL8888 · 20/01/2023 21:05

The cocklodger siren is starting to wail

Chatrattoria · 20/01/2023 21:06

No

He needs to go home and look for somewhere to live from there.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 20/01/2023 21:07

His mum text saying should I bring you your work clothes save you driving?

Mum doesn't want a 40 year old son back in the family home and is looking to get rid. Ask yourself why.

Also - no. Don't let him live at yours.

Rainbowshit · 20/01/2023 21:08

Not a chance.

Maray1967 · 20/01/2023 21:10

Put your children first. There is no reason why he can’t get his own place.

ICanHideButICantRun · 20/01/2023 21:12

For god's sake, OP! His own mother doesn't want him living there. He's 40 year old and can't behave himself in his step-father's home. Of course he would be delighted to move in with you and treat you just as badly.

You'd have to be insane - and a very bad parent - to let him move in with you.

Xoxoxoxoxoxox · 20/01/2023 21:13

He can rent a room somewhere or share with other people.
You have only been going out for a few months and did not choose this.

Stopthebusplease · 20/01/2023 21:13

Absolutely no way would I allow him to stay put with you a minute longer. As other posters have said, there's a reason why his parents don't want him back at their place. Tell him that you can't let him stay any longer, and that he must move out over the weekend. I'd also be rather worried as to why he hasn't got his own place, and where has he lived when you say he's been at his Mum's for the last 5 years 'on and off?' Has he been cocklodging with other girlfriends, until they too have kicked him out?

Livinghappy · 20/01/2023 21:13

His Ex kicked him out,his mum & step dad kicked him out...there is a pattern and the common factor is him

Noicant · 20/01/2023 21:13

No absolutely not, he is in a position to rent, don’t let him move in by default. You don’t want him to move in, you are under no obligation to be a solution to his problem here. Don’t let a man get you to do something you don’t want to do out of guilt or pity.

ohdearydearieme · 20/01/2023 21:15

No!!!!

mozzachester · 20/01/2023 21:16

No way.

MummyJ36 · 20/01/2023 21:16

Oh noooo. Don’t do that. Why is a 40 year old man living with his parents?? I know finances can be hard but still…I think it’s clear his mum wants him out.

I have experience of this and believe me, once they get in it’s impossible to get them out. Don’t put your kids through that.

gamerchick · 20/01/2023 21:17

God no. Tell him he has to go home and sort it out. She's offloading him on you, don't let her.

Then, when he's gone. Tell him you don't want to be in a relationship with him until he sorts himself out. You're opening yourself to a load of pain. Think of your kids and don't let him get comfortable.

Kangarude · 20/01/2023 21:17

No. He's moved in by stealth and won't move out

Kareah · 20/01/2023 21:18

boyfriend has been staying at my house for two weeks.

He’s had time to find a rental. If you want to stay together, give him a deadline of a week to find a rental. Don’t let him get his feet under your table. You have children to think about.

NCSQ · 20/01/2023 21:18

Why isn't he willing to rent, OP?

itswednesdayy · 20/01/2023 21:22

He’s been living there on off for 5 year after separation from his ex wife.

You said on/off. During these 5 years, where did he stay when he was away from his mum’s house?

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