Boyfriend don’t have a place to stay, should I let him stay at my house.

[AmyJahabee]

40year old Boyfriend live with mum and step dad. Recently had issues with his stepdad and had to leave the house, step dad doesn’t want him living in the house and boyfriend has been staying at my house for two weeks. His mum text him saying he had arguments with the stepdad and has kicked him from the bedroom so stepdad is sleeping in boyfriend room, so now he kinda have no room in the house. His mum text saying should I bring you your work clothes save you driving? I was like but you could go home as things should cool off now. I feel the mum doesn’t want him in the house but keeping quiet, whilst step dad is been voicing his out. I don’t want to live with him yet as I have kids and just not ready for living together and would prefer for us to be engaged before living together. We have been together for a year.

while he is trying to find another place to stay should I let him stay at my house and just worried eventually this will turn to living together without any proper discussion.

he has a job but bad credit for mortgage and just don’t understand why he wouldn’t rent. He’s been living there on off for 5 year after separation from his ex wife.

Hmm he's having issues with his family, he's 40 and still lives at home. No. No. And no!

Don’t feel guilty!!!!!
He’s not homeless, he’s LAZY!
Don’t let this man child coco lodger move into your children’s home by stealth!

No. And I'm really sorry, but he's a very unattractive prospect.

A man with no money at the moment is not necessarily a bad prospect for a relationship - things can happen out of our control.

But A man on £70k who's had the luxury of living with his parents for a few years, but still has bad credit and no money to rent a place...... No prospects whatsoever.

His gambling is not a one off, it's a huge problem and will prevent you having a happy, healthy relationship with him. He needs to move on quickly- if you're struggling to break up with him then focus on first getting him out of your home. Then with a bit of space to breathe you should find that strength to break it off completely.

He doesn’t sound like much of a catch: a loser who still lives with his mum at 40

You can do better op

He really doesn’t sound like much of a catch to me op. It’s a NO from me.

“his mum text saying I will bring your work clothes don’t want you driving since you’re ill. but you watched him drove when he was in agonising pain. Doesn’t make sense”

Makes sense to me - his Mum was happy to see him drive away from her house, but does not want to see him driving towards it

No, you will never get rid of him, he's already been their two weeks and shows no signs of moving, I think you need to have a conversation with him about him privately renting.
Is he really earning all that, I think he's a Billy bullshitter and a cock lodger get rid of him. X

No, no, no, no, and no!!

Please get him out asap. The longer you leave it, the harder it’s going to be to get rid of him.

His housing situation or lack of is HIS problem and his alone. Get him out for the sake of your children if nothing else.

He’s a grown man- it’s his responsibility to sort this out.

You didn’t invite him to move in, so stand your ground. Tell him to make another arrangement.

Guilty about some bloke being homeless? But no guilt at the thought of moving him into your children's home! Get a grip ffs!

What a catch

Definitely a cocklodger. You'll have differing rid of him. Put your kids first not this pathetic freeloader.

Difficulty

Fuck no.
You let him get his feet under your table and you'll have a grade A cocklodger on your hands.

I dated one of these type of guys many years ago -
He was divorced for1 year and living with parents. ExW was in matrimonial home with 2 DC.
He told me he was waiting for the financial settlement from the divorce. Then we would get a place that was big enough to have kids over at w/e's etc
After 8 months there was no sign of this “settlement” and he was angling to move in so I gave him an ultimatum – come up with something concrete finance-wise or we're done.
So guess what? He suddenly decided he still loved his exW and wanted to go back to her.....
Years later I found out he was cocklodging living with a divorcee who had her own place.
Don't move him in OP.

He isn’t your responsibility. He’s 40 years old ffs, middle aged and he hasn’t sorted his life out yet? He shouldn’t be living with his Mother at 40, especially when she isn’t happy about it. He sounds like a massive manchild, I wouldn’t be marrying him.

I wish I was a man. No matter how useless you are there is always a woman happy to look after you or an employer willing to promote you over a more competent woman.

Sorry I have no read the full thread. But why is this useless 40 year old a boyfriend anyway?

No you never get rid of him!

Agree with this. You've said it yourself op. A man with no kids earning 70k never mind the inheritance still having bad credit after living at mums for five years. If he couldn't turn things around during that time he never will. He should have pots of savings by now. You said something about 100k properties so I'm assuming you live in an area with very low house prices so even with previous bad credit he could have saved cold hard cash on top of his inheritance and bought outright.

What's he been doing while staying with you? Have you seen him looking for anywhere else? Does he help out? Don't become his mum. Don't set that example for your children.

You should assume that temporary probably means at least a year. After all, I bet the five years he has been in his mum's house were temporary to begin with. So don't think it will be a week or two.

Better to say no.

Don’t let him move in and have a long hard think about whether you actually want to be with him.

He earns well, has inheritance and has lived rent free for 5 years but has no money and a bad credit rating. It sounds very plausible he has a gambling problem. You need to protect yourself and your children.

Yes, was about to post something similar. What do you see in him OP?

No. Dont get engaged either. While this overgrown child is in your life you have no space for someone better.

He will bring you grief. He will bring your children grief. Get rid.