Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inviting others on a trip we paid for?

279 replies

Wantsummerback · 20/01/2023 19:09

Please tell me your thoughts on this, me and DH are so wound up about it. We have booked a trip for parents in law and they are inviting other people at our expense. I appreciate we have gifted it them and they can do what they want with it.

but it just feels such a slap in the face! We found such a lovely place for them to relax and now they aren’t even going together.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 20/01/2023 19:26

It's not costing you extra so who cares? They can enjoy the gift as they wish.

Fizzadora · 20/01/2023 19:27

It's your BIL or SIL isn't it?
I would be furious and would withdraw the offer and use it myself.

Original poster
Wantsummerback · 20/01/2023 19:28

We are furious, we keep going round in circles asking ourselves if we are being knobs. Or is this person just continuing to muscle in on everything for a free trip!

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 20/01/2023 19:29

Cheeky bugger.

You should at least tell them to pay the food cost up front.

Surely the chef will charge more because it's more people.

Asdayno · 20/01/2023 19:29

yes you are being knobs. it’s costing you nothing extra, it makes no difference to you since you aren’t even going. don’t be so petty

LaurieFairyCake · 20/01/2023 19:30

100% a BIL or SIL

they're all cunts

saltinesandcoffeecups · 20/01/2023 19:31

Thanks for the recap @SavoirFlair that’s what I was thinking was going on but it was good to get the clarification.

@Wantsummerback i think this is one of those situations that you just bitch to each other in private and move on. Maybe don’t pay for your PIL to have a holiday in the future if the other person has form for this.

At most (and I wouldn’t recommend this) you could work it into a conversation with your PIL that you hope their romantic weekend isn’t ruined with other guests.

ZekeZeke · 20/01/2023 19:31

Wantsummerback · 20/01/2023 19:28

We are furious, we keep going round in circles asking ourselves if we are being knobs. Or is this person just continuing to muscle in on everything for a free trip!

We need to know who this person is
C'mon

Original poster
Wantsummerback · 20/01/2023 19:32

@LaurieFairyCake 🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
Tricolette · 20/01/2023 19:33

You have 3 choices.
Ring up the cf’s and tell them you gifted the trip to your pil’s as a relaxing break for just them.
Ring up pil’s and tell them as they want company you’ll go instead of cf.
Forget it and never give gifts in future that can be manipulated by other people.

Tricolette · 20/01/2023 19:34

LaurieFairyCake · 20/01/2023 19:30

100% a BIL or SIL

they're all cunts

Yep.
My bil is grade A.

Original poster
Wantsummerback · 20/01/2023 19:35

Well we are going round to PIL tomorrow DH said he’s going to bring it up.

but I’ve just come here to ask whether we are being selfish knobs. But then as I said this person keeps doing this.

OP posts:
MrsClatterbuck · 20/01/2023 19:36

I'm sure the op is aware that it won't cost any extra. But it's definitely straying into cheeky fucker territory. If someone I knew was having a weekend away in a cottage paid for by their son I would not dream of inviting myself to join them and basically get a free weekend away.
Next time maybe make it a hotel stay so they would have to pay their own way but that probably wouldn't happen because that don't like putting their hands in their own pockets

Sneakyblinders · 20/01/2023 19:38

I would bring it up and also directly ask the interloper for a contribution to the cabin / chef.

Justmuddlingalong · 20/01/2023 19:38

What difference does it make though?
You paid a set price for a gift. You have an issue with the interlopers sponging a freebie, but it isn't costing you extra and it's your inlaw's gift to share if they want. 🤷‍♀️

Coffeellama · 20/01/2023 19:40

Has the person actually invited themselves? Or have they been invited?

Crazycrazylady · 20/01/2023 19:40

Mmm tricky one really.. I can see why you're miffed but I suppose you gifted them something to enjoy and they've decided that they would enjoy someone else coming along.
It doesn't cost you anything extra so not sure you can kick up a fuss.

Lovemydoggiesomuch · 20/01/2023 19:41

Tricolette · 20/01/2023 19:33

You have 3 choices.
Ring up the cf’s and tell them you gifted the trip to your pil’s as a relaxing break for just them.
Ring up pil’s and tell them as they want company you’ll go instead of cf.
Forget it and never give gifts in future that can be manipulated by other people.

These are your choices!

Original poster
Wantsummerback · 20/01/2023 19:41

@Justmuddlingalong It’s not that it makes a difference to us because you’re right it doesn’t. It’s just the fact that it keeps happening.

making everyone feel bad for them so they get invited and get once again another free or discounted trip.

OP posts:
Seaweed42 · 20/01/2023 19:41

I take it's your BIL who is single and free-loader who 'isn't materialistic' so gave up giving presents. But will happily jump on any party bus that's going and enjoy the free food and booze.
Yeah plenty of them out there.

LakeTiticaca · 20/01/2023 19:41

I get where you are coming from

If this person has form.for being a freeloader. It's a bit annoying even though it's not actually costing you any extra.
Next time just book one double hotel room, or alternatively book nothing and let them book and pay for their own mini breaks 😉

MelchiorsMistress · 20/01/2023 19:42

Are you sure that your PILs only invited these people because they were made to feel bad and not because they enjoy their company?

Mydogatemypurse · 20/01/2023 19:46

I think the bedt result you can get is letting them get on with it and making it clear you are only paying the chef for parents. Bet the parents end up paying for their food tho if they end up feeling sorry for thrm.

Original poster
Wantsummerback · 20/01/2023 19:46

@MelchiorsMistress that’s what we need to get to the bottom of tomorrow. But I can put my life on it that it was the case. As MIL called us to tell us that so and so is a bit down this week. So the seed has already been planted!

OP posts:
Quitelikeacatslife · 20/01/2023 19:46

Yeah say to them , I'm glad you agreed that Xmas present of break was such a good idea for parents that you want to accompany them. If you transfer your half to us that'd be great , cheers

Swipe left for the next trending thread