To feel grabby and uncomfortable with this.

[abstractplantpot]

Background - i'm married with kids we own our house and a small business. Sister single by choice owns her own house works full time and has a horse.

My father died 5 yrs ago and mum is left with the house they lived in and a small savings pot. She has been diagnosed with dementia and is needing increasing care.

My sister had talked about either renting her house out or selling it to move in with mum as she would eventually like to live in that house herself. This is fine by me. At the moment we share her care. I also do all the household business like keeping bills paid ensuring she has food and everything she needs.

Sister was advised by "the girls in work" to get legal advice before she did this as she could end up loosing out. I agreed and wanted us to get the correct info on how to do this legally and above board.

I couldn't go with her as i had no child care for the time she made the appointment so she went alone.

She has come back from the solicitor and said she doesn't need to move in with mum. She wants to open a bank account in her name and my name and transfer mums savings to it. Then get the house put into our names. with a document saying mum can live there untill she's no longer able.

For me this doesn't solve the problem of mum needing care! She has gone into that appointment trying to protect her inheritance and not looked at how we can help mum.

She's telling me she needs to look after her own interests as she hasn't got anyone else to do it for her. I have a husband she has no one. She is pushing me to do this quickly as she said we have to have it done for three years otherwise if mum goes into a home she will loose the house.

She isn't listening when i mention this doesn't help with caring for mum.

i do not want to do the joint account as it will mean my earnings for this year will push up to the next tax bracket. we own a business and this will be an asset. She's happy to move it into an account
solely in her name which again i'm fine
with but what about caring for mum.

Am i being unreasonable for being uncomfortable with this. I was happy to do it when she was moving into the house (happy to get deeds in her name or joint names not the bank account) to care for mum when she wasn't at work. i'd have gone in during the day. But now she's forgotten all about mum and is concentrating on the money.

How can i make her see i'm unhappy with this with out seeming i'm selfish.
thanks.

Wow, she's a piece of work OP. What was her relationship like with your mum before she got dementia? Thank goodness the poor woman has one decent daughter.

You can't do any of that as you have waited way too late. She'll be requiring care very soon, to do what you are suggesting youd have to do it years and years before you require care, way before old age. She can't consent as she has dementia anyway, from the outside this reads that you are taking this woman's money and house and putting it all in your names so that she doesn't have to pay for care/you get to keep all her money. My husband's parents went to see someone about trying to protect his gran's money about 7 years ago but basically due to her advancing age it wasn't possible, itd look like deprivation of assets (basically hiding money to avoid paying for your care) they did put power of attorney into place whilst she could still consent though so they can access her money and look after her affairs. She has been in a care home for 2 years now and is paying for her care from her savings/sale of her house. It's sad but you can't expect the tax payer to fund your care when you have assets.

Oooh no, that sounds all kinds of wrong, This is good advice.

Set an alert up with land registry.
You will be notified if anyone tries to alter the deeds of the house.

She can’t just transfer your mums assets

I suggest you need to clarify what type of power of attorney you have. If a lasting power of attorney... Is it registered etc, is it joint? I was a solicitor dealing with elderly clients for many years in England and there is no way that I would have given the 'advice' your sister apparently received. You need your own legal advice...urgently. Your mum should be your priority, from a care and wellbeing perspective and proper management of her property and assets.

They can look back as long as they like. However, if at the time of transfer of assets it is thought that the person is likely to require care services in the near future, it would be classed as deprivation of assets.
You both know that she will require care in the not too distant future, so any transfer would a deprivation of assets, to avoid paying for care.
Also, as she is not named POA she cannot make any decisions regarding property/finance or care/treatment (depending on which POA you hold).
A POA makes decisions in the persons Best Interests, not their sisters.

what a bitch!

Do NOT let her make one move on this, clue yourself up on what POA means and as others have said seek legal advice!

Your sister has her own house and a horse, she is hardly on the bones of her arse.

In fact i daresay once you bleed through all of your outgoings in comparison you're probably worse off than she is!

Also she is choosing to be single, if she wanted to "protect her own interests" then she shouldnt have chosen this.

Set up the alert on land regsitry.

OP - please read up on what a Power of Attorney is. It’s not the person who does most of the care, of organises the cleaner.
you will need one to sort both finances, and make decisions for your mum’s care.
if you have the signed documentation and this has become active, great. If not, ir would depend if your mum is still of sound mind whether she can grant this.
please seek legal advice on this.
as to your sister… she cannot just take your mum’s assets to protect yourself. These are your mum’s.
so would suggest…catalogue your mum’s assets - anything of value in the house (jewellery, money, etc) to make sure nothing goes missing whilst your sister protects her interests.
do not let your sister have sole custody over your mum’s asssets.
what a sad situation

So she didn’t want to move into your mums house to assist with care? She wanted to move in as the government are unable to take a house to pay for care bills if there are other residents.

I unfortunately have some experience of this issue as my father in law is now in a care home with dementia. My mother in law had a terrible time financially when he initially went into the home, as they weren’t able to take their home to cover the costs it was paid with his pensions etc, this left my mother in law in a very tricky situation. So it is prudent to protect assets if possible but I think your sister has given you the impression that her main concerns were levels of care when they were actually financial.

Looking at this another way. When she says she needs to look out for herself maybe it's not as sinister as you think. If she moves in with your mum and sells her property, if your mum goes into a care home, your sister will lose her home. She will have to effectively start again - would you say she has form for money grabbing or is this out of character? You may be misunderstanding.

You also need to get proper legal and tax advise togethe r.

Does your sister have access to your mum's bank account? Cut it off if so. I also second checking the land registry deeds and make sure nothing untoward has happened ie your mum has already put a charge on for your sister without telling you.

Sorry I cut myself off there ….

it’s reasonable that given your mum’s position, you & your sister discuss what might be best for her future, both healthcare and finances. Particularly with POA, it’s reasonable you do this.

what your sister is suggesting isn’t really reasonable at all. Moving someone’s assets (cash and property) into the ownership of someone else without the first person’s agreement is likely to be illegal in most cases; making some financial transactions under POA might be legal assuming you can justify it under “best interests”.

if your mum is no longer of sound mind, I’d be surprised if a solicitor would agree to an amendment to her will to change the % splits of her estate. If you beneficiaries were amenable to a change, there is a process for that after she dies.

if your sister was genuinely giving up work to take on care duties - in lieu of paying a care agency to come into the house, or your mum moving to a care home - then you could arrange that she was paid for those hours at the going rate for a carer. That would be reasonable.

but she doesn’t get to score points, or argue for more money or house either now or after your mum dies, because of lifestyle choices (kids, partners, jobs etc) that either of you have made over the years.

It's likely the legal advisor has suggested this as one way to avoid IHT , assuming your DM lives for a further seven years. It would however most likely be counted as deprivation of assets of your DM needs care

And all round bad idea and will only have been mention by legal advisor in a very specific context.

Do not go down this route.

@abstractplantpot Do you have POA for finances, health or both ?

If your DM appointed just you, rather than both of you, there must be a good reason.

As POA it is your responsibility to ensure that any decisions made regarding your mum is in her best interest. Moving her savings into an account in your sisters name is not in your mums best interests. You could get into serious legal trouble if someone reports this to the Office of the Public Gaurdian.

The whole 3 /7 year thing is a total red herring. For inheritance tax there is a 7 year limit. For depravation of assets there is no limit. The LA can go back as long as they want if they believe your mum has tried to hide money by transferring it into another persons account.

Do not be bullied by your sister. By agreeing to be your mums POA you have a legal obligation to look out for and act in your mums best interests. POA is an important legally binding position not just a signature on a document.

Does your mother have a will in place?

YADNBU! I think you're under-reacting, if anything.

She has revealed her agenda. You need to make sure that your mother has legal protection and your sister cannot railroad her into signing anything - POA, other docs.

Do you know what your mother's wishes and plans are?

OP do you actually have POA or do you think you automatically become POA because you do all these things? Your post isn't clear.

www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney

Of course she can't just do this if you have POA.

However I'd be wary of her persuading your mum to amend her will / sign documents (don't know what your mum's capacity is like) without you knowing.

Stop listening to your sister. Ignore her nonsense about you being selfish.
It’s outrageous that she’s trying to organise your mum’s finances and Will to benefit herself. No you don’t have to do what she says, of course you don’t.
Absolutely do not allow her to transfer your mum’s money into account in your and your sister’s name.
And as PPs have said, no way did a solicitor tell her to suggest this, unless they are very unethical.

If you have PoA she can't do anything I'd just stick to your guns if she wants to move in then she has to sort out her own "protection " imo

with regards to your mums care

do you have carers going into the home for your mother?
Are you as POA paying council tax for your mother?
Does your mother go to any day care places during the day?

There are so many issues here that you need to get your own legal advice.

1. Your sister got poor legal advice even for the purposes of protecting inheritance while ignoring care needs. If you mother has dementia and does not live more than 7 years then her estate would pay capital gains tax on the transfer of the house to her daughters, then you would both be liable for some inheritance tax on he value of the whole asset. IHT is more than CGT, so if you think she will longer than 7 years and you can both provide for her care needs then it can be helpful. But that doesn't sound likely.
2. I assume you already have Power of Attorney for both finances and health and welfare. If not, get it set up now to formalise your current role in decision making for your mother. This would allows you to keep money in your mother's name and access it on her behalf if she loses capacity completely. Otherwise the bank can freeze access until a court has decided what to do.
3. Do not rely on your sister to manage your mother's money. This will lead to arguments and resentment. There are lots of red flags already.
4. If your mother gives you both her home but continues to live there then she will need to pay you rent at broadly the market rate. Otherwise HMRC might take a dim view of the gift as an attempt at IHT evasion.

Well she's Cheeky Fucker isn't she?