To think that a man standing outside a school in girls uniform is not OK?

[crinklemum2]

Name changed as this is very local and he was seen wearing my DD's school uniform.

A local school uniform shop shared images to reassure parents they would not be selling him any items. Essex police say he poses no risk and people should stop sharing the photos. He looks to be late 50s/early 60s.

He's been seen around schools - both primary and secondary - dressed as a school girl (in their uniform). I am fucking outraged that the police don't seem to think that's an issue. God forbid we offend men or shame their fetishes.

AIBU that this must be an antisocial behaviour at the very least?

If you can't see that it is a problem then I'm not answering your stupid questions.

Thank you.

I’ll bite.

1. My fears are - the normalising of this bullshit leading to these people carrying on in their plain sight. The erosion of safeguarding and barriers where children become confused as to what is and isn’t normal behaviour. The fact that he will undoubtedly progress is offending once he’s been allowed to get away with this bollocks and it isn’t so exciting anymore.

2 I expect the police to grow a pair and tell this thing to piss off and stop hanging around schools. See gut instinct for why I do not give a shit whether he has broken any actual law.

3 It would make no difference whether he was 20 or 99, he’s still doing something disgusting. Yes, if he was wearing a 3 piece suit, a teletubby costume or his swimming shorts, I could not give a shit (refer back to gut instinct). He is getting off in parading his sad little fetish in public, notably around children who currently have no say in being cast as unwitting extras in his bullshit depravity.

Now, is there anything else I can help you with?

'Most important question first
What is it you fear? I'm presuming this is around children's safety so what do you think he's going to do?'

Is this a serious question? Isn't the whole point that this man could do anything? He is capable of wearing a girl's school uniform (although just as concerning if he was wearing any uniform) stalking 3 schools miles apart, riding school buses, and being there at times he knows the children will be going/coming from school. Who knows what this could esculate to. It is your attitude why so many crimes happen that could have been prevented.

So in this instance you think it’s better to wait until a child is harmed before taking action ? We’re talking about a man dressed in a girls’ school uniform and hanging around outside the school gates. Not just the uniform of one school ,but several. How ‘different’ does someone have to be before we consider them a threat. If it were me, I’d be asking MN to delete this post while you calm down and maybe try to get a sense of perspective.

The police could tell him to move if they wanted to, of course they could. The police around my parts have no trouble moving homeless men from loitering around landmarks when tourism season hits, they can't police what he wears but of course they could tell him to move.

I agree with @Dotjones . I would hate the idea of Thought Police! I'm already uneasy with abuse of the stop and search powers etc

What is it you fear? I'm presuming this is around children's safety so what do you think he's going to do?

Fear? Let's start with the mental health, fear, anxiety, discomfort of the young kids involved. He is a grown man wearing a school girls uniform deliberately placing himself in close proximity to children.

What do I think he is going to do? Precisely what he IS doing. Making countless kids, and parents, uncomfortable. I wouldn't assume his behaviour will escalate, but it probably will, once he become acclimatised to doing what he is currently doing (like the report that he was trying to climb the school fence again yesterday)

What do you want/expect the Police to do? Arrest him, detain him? What offence?

If he has mental health issues and capacity then any kind of order barring him from being within X distance of a school. As happens with many other people for very many offences or potential offences.

If he has no capacity then a better community care option. But we know how likely that is. Especially when so many place his freedom of expression above the safety and comfort of others.

Would it make a difference if he was younger or didn't wear the uniform (but other teen clothes)?

No. Because a man with no kids loitering outside school gates is usually taken to be there with ill intent. This man is different because.... he wears a girl's school uniform and that somehow makes it all absolutely fine and dandy.

Double standards for trans identifying men is not acceptable - no mater what other mental health issues it is speculated they may have.

To my mind it’s not dissimilar to how the police dealt with the Pakistani grooming gangs debacle. They are trying to tread very carefully around a hot potato subject and don’t want to have accusations of a hate crime blow back at them. When dealing with vulnerable individuals or minority groups there’s obviously a lot of hand wringing that goes on.

Can't believe the inaction of the police! Here's what they could, and should do:

www.gov.uk/civil-injunctions-criminal-behaviour-orders

I agree with a PP, parents need to take it in turns to report every instance of ASB.

And yet, if he decided to dress up as a policeman they could act immediately....

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1996/16/section/90

Fantastic post @NotBadConsidering That is exactly what I will teach my daughters. Fuck everybody who tries to erode your sense of preservation (like that JudgeRudy character in this thread). It is not your job to have your boundaries trampled over so that somebody else gets a kick out of it.
And the police have all the time and powers to investigate tweets, but not house burglaries or domestic violence, and certainly not fetishists trying to gain access to children. Don't trust them.

Can the bus companies not ban him?
Also needs a local police support officer hovering outside the school stopping loitering.

'The police could tell him to move if they wanted to, of course they could. The police around my parts have no trouble moving homeless men from loitering around landmarks when tourism season hits, they can't police what he wears but of course they could tell him to move.'

@DarkShade very good point. Why are the police moving homeless people on but not a loitering grown man in a school uniform? It's like they're walking on eggshells, and so scared to upset certain communities that they can't see the wood for the trees.

JudgeRudy · Today 09:53
I'm quite surprised by some of the responses here so wanted answers to a few questions. I have a genuine desire to understand someone else's point of view and l'm not intending to be goady.

Most important question first
What is it you fear? I'm presuming this is around children's safety so what do you think he's going to do?

The fear as you put it is this man is projecting his fantasies around children. Children are vulnerable and it’s not normal or safe adults to be going around doing this as this is purely for their satisfaction and desires. Where does this lead ti more boundary pushing that’s what happens

What do you want/expect the Police to do? Arrest him, detain him? What offence?

I expect the police to ask him to not project his fantasies around the vulnerable

Would it make a difference if he was younger or didn't wear the uniform (but other teen clothes)?

what are other teen clothes ? Most teeen clothes are adult clothes. But a man standing outside a school unless collecting their own child or a child they are looking after should always be a concern as there is no reason for them to and we know there are many sexual predators living in the community

think you know the reasons though

I’ve got news for you hen. The thought police exist already, except they work for the other side. They arrest women in their own homes who have dared to say that a man in a dress is not a woman. Think on that one for a bit.

It was so obvious to my brain that I didn't even question/check it. Because of course it's the girls' uniform, it just wouldn't be anything else

Any man with no connection to a school who chooses to loiter outside it, to use the bus the kids get on would be asked to move on. Those who refuse to do so can get banning orders. It doesn't matter if they have mental health issues. The police act putting the safety of the kids first. That's called safeguarding - acting to protect against potential harm

Nothing to do with stop and search or police overreach.

Maybe we kick in the nether regions will remind him he is not a school girl!

👏 👏

The only vulnerable individuals in this situation are the children being exposed to this man's sexual fetish. You don't seem all that concerned with them.

As for 'though police'? We are not discussing thoughts here, but actions. If he has kept it to just his thoughts there wouldn't be a problem would there?
His actions appear very deliberate - he went to a shop that sell these school clothes and told the shop worker he was buying the items for his granddaughter.
He knew what he was doing, he is not vulnerable at all. Why do you insist on excusing his inappropriate behaviour?

Wow I can not believe this is happening!
I did wonder why the local school urged not to sell uniform online or give it to local charity shops. They have a second hand uniform sale at school.

The "but what are you actually scared of?" faux-naive question was used on me and other Jews a lot by Corbyn followers during the worst period of antisemitic harassment (in 2015-19).

It took me far too long to realise what a bullshit, victim-blaming, deflecting tactic it is.

It puts the onus on the victim to start talking about possible future scenarios and distracts from the bloody obvious abuse and harassment going on in plain sight.

Where is the common sense of the police!!?? Makes you want to despair.

Local thug gangs have more common sense and natural protective instincts for vulnerable children.

This is Silence of the lambs level freakery!

Quite.
There is zero chance this is harmless.
This is boundary erosion kicks in plain sight. Aided and abetted by a police force who have been misdirected and deliberately misinformed so that fetish has been normalised and considered 'inclusive'.
This is the inevitable conclusion - as predicted by many - of 'authenticity' being the disguise of some sexual deviancy which requires the unwitting or unwilling participation of others.
Pup play at Pride with the Police benignly looking on..what fun that was. Less fun now it's a man into kinks around uniform and children?

Oops typo - "maybe a kick"