To think that a man standing outside a school in girls uniform is not OK?

[crinklemum2]

Name changed as this is very local and he was seen wearing my DD's school uniform.

A local school uniform shop shared images to reassure parents they would not be selling him any items. Essex police say he poses no risk and people should stop sharing the photos. He looks to be late 50s/early 60s.

He's been seen around schools - both primary and secondary - dressed as a school girl (in their uniform). I am fucking outraged that the police don't seem to think that's an issue. God forbid we offend men or shame their fetishes.

AIBU that this must be an antisocial behaviour at the very least?

Correction - any MAN is entitled

He’s not a pupil and anyone can wear any school uniform.
At my DC school if you want to buy the uniform online (only 1 shop) you need a code from school

Just went to FB to have a look at the pictures. He’s wearing a wig and all sorts😳

When you said he’s standing outside of the school, for some reason I assumed you meant he stands outside of the school gates during school hours. I didn’t realise you meant he’s actually there as school finishes so kids have to walk past him/sit with him on the bus upstairs. I thought he was just a weirdo that stood outside of the gates during break/lunchtime.

Can the school’s police officer not come outside of the gates once school’s over and just get him to move along?

It’s very odd behaviour and I can definitely see why you are concerned. I suppose the police mean that his behaviour isn’t breaking any laws and he hasn’t actually done anything that would be considered dangerous, just weird. And there is no crime in being weird. Hopefully that’s all he is.

What consenting adults want to do in their own bedroom is their business. But when it starts to involve children or spills out of their bedroom, society should not be so accepting.

Like those men dressed in leather animals masks at IKEA. No. The fetishes of men should not be tolerated in public. Maybe that man in school uniform isn’t breaking a law yet, but it’s very easy to see how if nobody stops him now it could easily escalate.

That could be classed as antisocial behaviour which is behaviour that causes harassment, alarm or distress to anyone not in the person's household.

This is where parents need to work together and every time he is there a different parent rings and reports him to the police for antisocial behaviour. He may not be harassing anyone but he is causing alarm and distress.

A 'visit' from a few large angry dads would probably be the most effective action, sadly.

You can begin to understand why people eulogise some of the criminals of the 1960s.

Are we sure this man has no learning difficulties? I only ask as most people who pose a threat to society would make more of an effort to hide their behaviour if it might look dodgy.

I worked in a home for people with learning difficulties a few years and similar stuff could be found in some of their histories. This of course is not meant to suggest that everybody with learning difficulties is a risk, nothing could be further from the truth, but your reference to this man instantly made me think of one of the men in that home.

it not on, but it’s possible he’s not doing it for sexual thrills. Or maybe he is, but either way he’s clearly mentally ill and vulnerable himself. Something ought to be done and I think you might be right that this could be dealt with as an anti social behaviour issue.

The thing is, the police have done their job. They’ve identified him, been round and spoken to him, and more than likely that will be enough to stop him taking his creepy fucking fetish behaviour out of the house. At this stage, what more can they do?

The stop sharing photos on social media message is also appropriate, because these situations can led to a ‘vigilante justice’ type mentality taking hold, which would be harassment or worse of him, and he’s still entitled not to be harassed under the law.

It’s a horrible thing and I can quote understand why you and other parents are upset - I would be too if it happened here - but right now there’s nothing the police can do other than what they’ve done. Pretty sure they’ll keep a close eye on him and the schools via community policing teams.

Def needs his computers looking at.

Where to start?…

There are many things in this country that are not legally wrong but are morally not ok, or are offensive to many. (For example afaik people can take photos of other people’s children in public areas. I wouldn’t because I have no need to, and I think it is strange, but others feel it is their ‘right’)

Many people in this country are very vocal about how we should ‘be kind’ - for example if a person wants to identify even very temporarily as a person of the opposite sex, with all the privileges this brings, then this is their absolute right and we should be kind. So for example men can dress in what they might perceive as ‘girls’ clothes’ - even school uniform, then they are only taking advantage of their rights.

Personally I think it is an absolute outrage and he is displaying arrogance and antisocial traits - but the laws of the country are what they are.

(But I also don’t think male bodied people should be accessing single sex facilities such as toilets and I am apparently very wrong on this, but I am struggling to see the difference with what this chap is doing)

If it were me I would stop sending my kids to school until something was done about it. It’s outrageous that he can make the children uncomfortable by doing this. His rights obviously trump the children!

How would a school enforce this ‘rule’ on people who aren’t their pupils? They could try to prevent it by being the only authorised supplier of new uniform, or giving parents a code to purchase from registered suppliers, but you can’t stop someone getting hold of secondhand uniform and wearing it if they want to.

Essex police say he poses no risk and people should stop sharing the photos. He looks to be late 50s/early 60s.

I’m intrigued at how the police can make this claim so confidently. It is a known fact that sexual paraphilias escalate over time as the initial thrill diminishes.

Crime analysts have noted a progression from flashing to rape for example. That’s not to say all flashers will become rapists but many rapists start their offending by flashing. I believe the policeman who murdered Sarah Everard was one of these.

This man is displaying his sexual fetish for dressing as a schoolgirl in public where he can watch schoolgirls and know that they see him. When the thrill of that wears off because no one is reacting to his transgression any more (the reaction of others is important to them), what will he then do?

Essex police have had training from Stonewall. Stonewall includes cross dressers under the trans umbrella and emphasises to the police that they need to be treated with extreme delicacy and understanding. It appears that Essex pol has taken this fully on board.

On what actually grounds do you think people have the power to do something? Sure weird but what law is broken? What can the school actually do?

The kids will be so scared of him, and on the bus trapped in a close proximity. There must he something they can do. Why aren't they asking him what business he has to be there, and what he is doing, scaring the school children, loitering etc? This could so easily esculate.

Welcome to 2023 where the rights of men supersede safety of our children.

It is not normal or harmless, he is wearing a girls uniform and long wig. Why isn’t her wearing a boys uniform if he just likes the uniform??

We all know why, but it’s okay he hasn’t broken any laws……yet

Shocked is my reaction and in light of all the recent headlines re police themselves I’m surprised they are saying nothing to be done. my only immediate thought is can the heads of local schools declare it a jeans week so no school uniform to be worn and see if he goes away. Or the parents block his view or that everyone gives him absolutely no eye contact heaven only knows but doing nothing seems to be wrong. How are the youngsters really feeling?

He wouldnt last 2 mins where I'm from, the local Dads would take it into their own hands if the police wouldn't. Fucking pedophile.

Wow not on really . He is perverted

here he is

m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0BPbgwaTbaT4gcY2EgjRHhbDt8GpA2EdVnNWYvkNBJirCM2Le7vmsjikn42wVBWgsl&id=100063474464937

There needs to be a law change to prohibit this kind of behaviour. Its like stalking, somebody literally has to be injured or worse before they'll do anything! It is often too late. This man is stalking the school.

It must be a very civilised area, in my neck of the woods, it wouldn’t take long until the local teenage gangs battered him to within an inch of his life.

I wouldn’t advocate this of course.

But I would be extremely alarmed and disturbed if this were allowed to happen at my children’s school.

Even if he does have mental health issues or special needs, someone should be responsible for him, an allocated social worker, or local mental health nurses to keep an eye on him and redirect him to less alarming (and potentially dangerous for him) pursuits.

The schools argue over and over about how pupils wearing uniform outside of school still represent the school so should behave accordingly.
Can’t it be argued that by wearing the uniform he is representing the school?
Although it is unlikely that the school would be able to do anything.

The trouble is where do you draw the line in taking action against people who haven't committed a crime but might do in the future? Would it be fair to prosecute a teenager from a rough estate who was loitering outside a shop because they're of similar age to other teenagers who've loitered outside the shop in the past and gone on to smash the windows?

The law works reactively - you offend, you are punished. There is no concept of punishing future crimes or singling someone out for restrictions simply because they might be more likely to commit a crime in future.