To think that a man standing outside a school in girls uniform is not OK?

[crinklemum2]

Name changed as this is very local and he was seen wearing my DD's school uniform.

A local school uniform shop shared images to reassure parents they would not be selling him any items. Essex police say he poses no risk and people should stop sharing the photos. He looks to be late 50s/early 60s.

He's been seen around schools - both primary and secondary - dressed as a school girl (in their uniform). I am fucking outraged that the police don't seem to think that's an issue. God forbid we offend men or shame their fetishes.

AIBU that this must be an antisocial behaviour at the very least?

😂

@Everyonehasavoice have you not read the whole thread?

Do you think it is OK for a man to hang around schools for no reason? Regardless of what they are wearing?

This. All of this. Start educating yourselves. Wake the fuck up! These people are in plain sight. When people tell you who they are, believe them.

The good news is that it's so bloody predictable these days people can see it coming a mile off.

And it's interesting how little their methods vary. Exactly like abusive types who use recognised tactics (DARVO), patterns (negging, victim-blaming), silencing, (shouts of 'bigot') and lies (you're on the wrong side of history, you're an echo chamber, you're aligned with the alt right, no one in the 'real world' thinks like you).

This is very akin to the behaviour of abusers, whose patterns and tactics can be spotted a country-mile away because they never vary. It's as though someone somewhere has produced a text book for them.

Once you've seen a few on this site it's transparent. Women here are switched on. They know exactly what they're looking at.

Is that sarcasm?! nasty comment?!
Completely unacceptable!

online bullying……no wonder people have so many mental health issues these days when a person can’t make a simple comment.

I’ll add ‘bully’ to witch, pearl clutcher, bigot, prude, hysterical woman, etc etc. Thank you so much.

There was a similar case a few years ago in a different area, l think that person was given some kind of restraining order, his excuse was he was acting as a honeytrap and seemed to genuinely believe he could be mistaken for a young schoolgirl, no matter that he looked like an older man dressed up as one. Can you believe he was outraged that the local community weren't thankful. Turned out he was some sort of Dr.

I can assure you this is not faux naivety. Yours it actually one of the first posts ive seen that has actually been specific by stating that you feel he indecently exposure himself.....which I agree would be wrong. I just don't get why everyone is assuming he's a sex offender because (for want of a better description) he's a bit kinky.

He lived near my mum when she was growing up. One day she met him in the street, she was about 12. He kissed her on the lips and slipped his tongue in her mouth, right there in broad daylight.
IT WAS IN PLAIN SIGHT.

When did it become OK to act out a kink in public? I can remember when kinksters used to give a shit about consent, and not involving people who had not consented. That always includes children.

If I see someone acting out a kink in public, I always assume that they also have a fetish for breaking boundaries and ignoring consent.

I've not been able to keep up today as I've been working but have noticed Essex Police have removed their statement from social media.

Why did you react to what should have to you seemed liked an appreciative comment about your thoughts if you thought what you wrote was something that most sensible people would agree with?

I'm confused as to your reaction.

This is Mumsnet, not your Mummy.

If you chat bollocks, someone is perfectly within their rights to sarcastically point it out.

Though kudos on having such a wonderful life that you thought THAT was a 'nasty' comment 😂

Don't ever read some of the comments under poor JKR's twitter posts, you'd have an attack of the vapours.

A bit kinky 😂. OK so it is totally fine to hang around schools in your kinky clothes as long as you don't actually touch the children. FFS!

I grew up in the 60s saw the look on nurses faces when Savile was visiting, and regular saw the pervert's in the parks watching couples or children. Flashers in dark places. Seen normal dressed pervs watching the local kids. I don't get why he wears the school uniforms though.

How hard of thinking are you? Honestly? We have provided multiple links, Google searches and evidence as to what this pervert is capable of and why dressing like this is wrong. Why isn’t it sinking in? Or do you just not want it to?

This is interesting. I wonder why?

What is it you fear? I'm presuming this is around children's safety so what do you think he's going to do?

At absolute worst, abduct a child and do what child abductors do.
If not that, attempt to groom and sexually assault a child.
Even in the absolute best case scenario, he's making the children feel afraid and uncomfortable due to his inappropriate, boundary-breaking and likely sexually-motivated behaviour, and that alone should be reason enough to move him on. Children deserve to be able to catch the bus to school, walk into their own school and hang out in their school playground without fear.

What do you want/expect the Police to do? Arrest him, detain him? What offence?

Move him on. Tell him it's not appropriate to loiter outside a school. If he comes back, move him on again.

Would it make a difference if he was younger or didn't wear the uniform (but other teen clothes)?

ANY adult persistently hanging around outside a school who is not a parent of a pupil (and taking photos of school kids, hello?!) should be treated with suspicion and asked to move on.

Although the uniform wearing makes it even more likely that his behaviour is driven by sexual motives, and the fact he went to the effort of actually getting the correct official uniform for the school in question suggest a concerning level of planning.

I tend to think the worst of ppl first, 99% of the time I am sadly correct. so if I ask questions its just me trying to obtain a balanced view.

It's not OK to 'be a bit kinky' around school children, while wearing a school uniform.

That IS being a sex offender.

How have we reached the point where this needs to be stated in such fucking basic terms?

I doubt he has a learning disability and it’s vile you even suggest that.All this talk of support for a man with a fetish.One day the likes of this man and his ilk will surface in your lovely safe unicorn world.Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Long time stalker (pun intended), first time poster.

In plain sight, being normalised. Perversion. It is not OK. Safeguarding 101. Feels like common sense and boundaries are being erased in an effort to #bekind.

Because it’s his sexual fetish dawn. It turns him on. He’s getting a kick out of wearing the school uniform in public, otherwise the sad bastard would just be sat wearing it in his box room. It probably started that way, but it’s not enough anymore, and he needs to wear the school girl outfit in public, where he can be seen and ridiculed. It turns him on knowing people are looking at him looking at schoolchildren. It won’t be enough soon though, the sexual high won’t be strong enough. It’ll leave him feeling a bit deflated. So he’ll have to search out a new way to get this kick. I don’t think you have to search very far in your mind to understand what that might consist of. And this is exactly why he shouldn’t be anywhere near a school, or children, or other people for that matter.

I just don't get why everyone is assuming he's a sex offender because (for want of a better description) he's a bit kinky.

Well, because he's hanging around children in what is, for him, his fetish gear. It must have taken some years to come to the point where he's doing this - from a fantasy scenario, to identifying schools, then to buying the uniforms which he probably tried at home for a bit to actually going to the school in the uniform. This is obviously sexually motivated and progressive behaviour.

Frankly, if he's a grown man wearing a primary school uniform, I'd say indecent exposure must have happened already. I can't imagine what child's skirt would cover his knackers in a plausible deniability gust of wind.

Not against the law for disgusting old perverts to wait outside schools, follow little girls on to a bus and then take pictures of them, but it fucking well should be.

It is a fetish, he is turned on by thinking about wearing the uniform, by putting it on and by thinking about it afterwards. If he was wearing a gimp suit outside school he'd arrested.