To think that a man standing outside a school in girls uniform is not OK?

[crinklemum2]

Name changed as this is very local and he was seen wearing my DD's school uniform.

A local school uniform shop shared images to reassure parents they would not be selling him any items. Essex police say he poses no risk and people should stop sharing the photos. He looks to be late 50s/early 60s.

He's been seen around schools - both primary and secondary - dressed as a school girl (in their uniform). I am fucking outraged that the police don't seem to think that's an issue. God forbid we offend men or shame their fetishes.

AIBU that this must be an antisocial behaviour at the very least?

This is just turning into - pedos are charming therefore if he's not charming and capable of manipulation he must be harmless.

It's a false dichotomy. He could be a nonce but have non related mental health issues or limitations that mean his preferred wank fodder is to dress up as a female child and try and immerse himself in their world by riding buses and hanging out near schools.

I don't know enough context to make a judgement, but naturally the fact that he's doing this, most people know there aren't many innocent explanations for such behaviour.

I would say an adult hanging around school is threatening.

Some years ago he would have been moved on.

I know some teenagers that got really in trouble at school for having a fight out of school hours because they were wearing their school uniform because they were representing the school still. Then you get pervy old man swanning around in a school's uniform but this is fine because he might be mental.

I'm not even sure he has mental health though.

Socially acceptable, NO.

Easy to do YES

You forgot #bekind 'sunshine, rainbows and lollipops' poor old lonely man, let's hug it out

What if they were hanging around outside your sons school every day wearing their underwear or a sexy nurses uniform and taking photos?

Would you be ok with that?

Hell, I’m starting to think this poster IS pervy uniform man…or at least one of his ilk.

Given the majority of people coming into contact with him when he’s in his attire will be school kids I don’t think passing the time of day with him is the best idea

@Onnabugeisha I would disagree, I’ve worked in mental health services and we would most definitely have been working to help reinstate healthy boundaries with someone in our services if they were hanging around schools. We would not be ‘oh he can’t really help it’. Partly because we treat people as humans, capable of being able to be healthy around other people and themselves. Some people do have difficulties and do get fixated, however that would not be ignored as it can become very unhealthy for that person and the person / people being fixated on.

Well, I only know one of mine, an uncle and he is on his death bed some 3,000 miles away. The rest of them, I wasn’t in a position to know who they were. I was sold. So, I guess that is why I have to trust a bit in the police that they’re handling it- I don’t trust the school girl cos playing man. He’s a bit like a stray dog you simply keep clear of and be thankful a danger is so obvious it’s like a plank in your eye. If I couldn’t trust society at all, I’d not have let my DCs ever leave the house from the fear. So perhaps I do over compensate by trying to be very objective because I know my instincts are fucked to hyper vigilance.

And probably win a few “Woman of the Year” type awards along the way!

Utter tripe that Jimmy Saville "dressed fashionably". He looked extremely eccentric in his appearance.
Is the sky also green while we're about it?

I never said it should be ignored. I’m saying I think the police have it handled and hopefully he’s going to be sectioned. I’m saying I’m not convinced he’s a pervert or sexual predator, it all appears very much to be mental illness from how he is acting and how it is being handled. But I’d never advocate just ignoring the situation and letting the man carry on.

Bet he would stop if he did get a hiding from locals dads. But then, they would get in trouble. Times have changed.

Yes I agree. It certainly is NOT a fashion choice. What exactly is he up to? The Essex police need to wise up and take the safety of women and children seriously.

I think the most appropriate response from the police would be to say that they are taking it seriously, if they have no immediate cause for alarm (say no past criminal history or red flags) then to communicate that to the school and parents, however to also state that they are working with the relevant services to divert / stop that person taking such an interest in school and children.

Then the police should encourage people not to be vigilantes, but to remain aware and to report anything to them, and to monitor the situation.

If the situation remains that this person keeps hanging around schools, then the police should communicate why this has been difficult. Surely?

Jimmy Savile had rings made with glass eyes from various hospital morgues he had volunteered at. That is not eccentric dressing. He wore these to scare the shit of the children he molested.

Did you not read the link about the other man that did this? He GRABBED a girl on her way into school. This man is also capable of that! Children ‘steering clear’ is not the answer here fgs.

But not as bizzare as a 50yr old man in a school girl uniform. He was acceptably eccentric as I am saying.

@Onnabugeisha it doesn’t sound like they have it handled though, as they haven’t communicated clearly to parents that they are trying their best to stop this man from hanging around schools, and have implied that they are treating it a bit frivolously by saying that there is no harm in it. Perhaps you are right, perhaps good things are happening behind the scenes but from the post parents feels that they are being told no threat here, no harm, ignore.

“Other man” is not same man. Any man is capable of what another man does.

You are absolutely NOT being unreasonable. As for all the 'it's just a fashion choice' reponses on here. Well, there's been a LOT of grooming going on these days, I mean look at Essex Police saying 'he's not doing any harm'.

Now go and google 'man dressed as schoolgirl convicted' and see how many convictions pop up.

The signs are there.
Anyone making a choice not to read the signs is negligent in the extreme.

This will NOT end well.

So, I guess that is why I have to trust a bit in the police that they’re handling it- I don’t trust the school girl cos playing man. He’s a bit like a stray dog you simply keep clear of and be thankful a danger is so obvious it’s like a plank in your eye. If I couldn’t trust society at all, I’d not have let my DCs ever leave the house from the fear. So perhaps I do over compensate by trying to be very objective because I know my instincts are fucked to hyper vigilance.

@Onnabugeisha But you must see that a lot of us on here are trusting our hyper vigilent instinct? It's not fucked. It's there because of out past to protect us. It's there for a reason. We know instinctively what a bad man is when we come across one in real life. And I've found to my peril never to ignore it. But then I don't have kids. I don't know how that would have shaped my thinking .

You say yourself, you don't trust this guy we are talking about. And there's s lot of us here who have that same instinct. I wonder why that is?

Good point. He’d probably get away with it.

I agree, they should be communicating better with parents on this. They’re not really inspiring confidence.

I wonder, if he’d been dressed up like a schoolboy and been looking at little boys whether the police response would have been any different? I’d put my money on the answer being yes, it would be, because police wouldn’t be frightened of upsetting the brave and stunning, and society has much more of a problem with men messing with little boys than it does men messing with little girls.

The police are wrong. This low level behaviour escalates.

We are eroding the boundaries of girls by letting this man dress like that and basically stalk the girls on the bus.

It's a fetish. It's inappropriate and not a reasonable risk to keep letting him continue.