Page 21 | To think that a man standing outside a school in girls uniform is not OK?

crinklemum2 · 2023-01-20T08:35:33+00:00

Name changed as this is very local and he was seen wearing my DD's school uniform. A local school uniform shop shared images to reassure parents they would not be selling him any items. Essex police say he poses no risk and people should stop sharing the photos. He looks to be late 50s/early 60s. He's been seen around schools - both primary and secondary - dressed as a school girl (in their uniform). I am fucking outraged that the police don't seem to think that's an issue. God forbid we offend men or shame their fetishes. AIBU that this must be an antisocial behaviour at the very least?

SinisterBumFacedCat · 20/01/2023 12:03

i don't get how anyone thinks a skirt is a form of liberation

What, even during the 40 degree heatwave? Do me a favour!

DameHelena · 20/01/2023 12:04

OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 20/01/2023 11:43

Exactly. After their judgement this week of the rapist not being a risk and let him continue being an officer, I would rather not take their opinion that he's not a risk.

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Hold on, what? David Carrick? is his case not going to court?
(sorry for ignorance, but I've been on mad deadlines all week and head down).

MyNameisMathilda · 20/01/2023 12:04

AgathaMystery · 20/01/2023 12:01

This.

I would also except the school to call the police each time this happens simply to use up time so the police become sick of moving him on.

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except the police seem to be more concerned with pulling up people who are sharing the photos as opposed to this man.

AlisonDonut · 20/01/2023 12:04

Raquelos · 20/01/2023 11:57

Yeah it's not that I disagree with the sentiment that this is a matter that should cause some concern. I just really don't think the paedogeddon approach is very useful.

The focus on the cross-dressing as the issue and the easy claims that vigilante violence is the answer really don't sit well with me at all.

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The cross dressing, the stalking of 3 schools worth of school girls, the getting on a bus with them and the photographs you mean?

There's a reason we have a police force and they seem to think it is no problem for men to do this.

There's a reason that over 800 Met police are currently under investigation...and why a Met Chief killed himself just as the child abuse images in his house were about to be made public and why they just sacked and jailed a Met officer for numerous rapes over a 20 year period. It's because they cannot see females as humans enough to take any action.

If he did rape one of these kids, he'd get away with it as only 1% of rapes that we know about are ever even persued through the courts.

He knows he can do what he wants and get away with it.

And your worry is him being hurt. Not the school girls. Nice.

BloodAndFire · 20/01/2023 12:04

Raquelos · 20/01/2023 12:03

Thanks I'll have a look and see what I can find although the speed this thread is moving makes it a bit of a challenge!

I misspoke, I should have said no need to get het up with me.

The irony is that on a different thread you and I will be in agreement about the attempts to close down women voicing their concerns and instincts, but instincts aren't a sufficient reason for a lynch mob and that is where we may part company on this thread.

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Expecting the police to do their job rather than allowing an obvious pervert to get sexual kicks from intimidating children trying to go to/leave school is not a lynch mob.

Pinkkite · 20/01/2023 12:05

In the 80s there was a man (with mental health issues) who would hang around town and our primary school wearing a hitler costume. People can do very odd things when they are not quite fully in reality. Could be sexual and eurgh, could be vulnerable and deluded. Could be just someone who likes to cause reactions in people. Could be all sorts of intentions. Only way to find out is to ask. I think I’d just go up to him and ask him. I’d be too curious about such odd behaviour.

Namechangedforthisonetoday · 20/01/2023 12:05

Raquelos · 20/01/2023 12:03

Thanks I'll have a look and see what I can find although the speed this thread is moving makes it a bit of a challenge!

I misspoke, I should have said no need to get het up with me.

The irony is that on a different thread you and I will be in agreement about the attempts to close down women voicing their concerns and instincts, but instincts aren't a sufficient reason for a lynch mob and that is where we may part company on this thread.

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Instincts are pretty much all we (women) have left. They’ve served us well for thousands of years. They aren’t letting the majority of us down now either.

MelchiorsMistress · 20/01/2023 12:05

This is like some kind of sick joke.

The more time goes on the more embarrassed I am to be British.

Suzi888 · 20/01/2023 12:06

Soubriquet · 20/01/2023 08:50

That’s not all he’s doing. He’s riding the bus where school children are riding, dressed in the uniform, and taking pictures of the kids

Not around here he wouldn’t be. Can’t someone have a word.

Creepy.

GCAcademic · 20/01/2023 12:06

FancyPantsy · 20/01/2023 12:01

Oh FFS, if Grayson Perry was hanging around outside my daughters school in her uniform, yes I would have a problem with it. This is allowing adult males to play out their sexual fetishes in public, and involving children as spectators for their voyeurism. At the very least it must be outraging public decency?!

Grayson Perry openly admits that his cross-dressing is a fetish, so I'm not sure why that poster is so keen to accept his hypothetical standing outside a school in uniform as benign.

Thesenderofthiscard · 20/01/2023 12:06

Surprised they don’t make him move, even for his own safety. Reminds me of when police would do nothing about stalkers or men harassing women- they would wait until someone was actually attacked rather than do anything preventive.
I’d be livid if this was my kids school, and I think we’d be doing a rota if parents watching him the whole time.

DesertIslandCondiment · 20/01/2023 12:07

He's doing nothing illegal or immoral in my eyes

Well he is doing something immoral in my eyes and nearly everyone on this threads eyes.

Even if he was a man's suit and tie I would still think he was a weirdo hanging around a school.

BloodAndFire · 20/01/2023 12:07

MelchiorsMistress · 20/01/2023 12:05

This is like some kind of sick joke.

The more time goes on the more embarrassed I am to be British.

Don't look at what's happening in Canada then. It makes the UK look like a paradise for women's rights

Raquelos · 20/01/2023 12:08

SamphiretheTervosaurReturneth · 20/01/2023 11:58

Really? You want the whole of Jimmy Saville's career to be recounted

Maybe some Ian Hunt thrown into the mix.

What about Joseph Alan Goddard, to specifically add the transgender element to the more usual morally decrepit men?

A 2017 research finding that 41% of trans identifying males are sex offenders and the 2022 finding that 42% of trans identifying male prisoners are also sex offender, treble that rate of all other men in prison.

Men... the cohort that are the most violent, the sex offenders, the paedophiles in our midst. And yes, decades of research show that their behaviour escalates. Reams and reams of it. Google shall provide!

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Evidence relating to this individual is what I was after. I don't have any problem accepting the other evidence you reference as being relevant to a more general debate. I do have a problem with it being used to determine a course of action in relation to a specific individual that I don't have a lot of information bout beyond, his cross-dressing outside a school.

FOJN · 20/01/2023 12:08

This has fuck all to do with gender recognition.

Really? Someone received an ASBO for similar behaviour in 2008 but now the police are unable to do anything? Why are they afraid to respond appropriately to this inappropriate behaviour?

You cannot distinguish between a fetishistic cross dresser with predatory inclinations and an 'ordinary transperson' under the process of self ID and within the context of a movement which demands acceptance without exception.

I've said it many times but no one who cares about trans people thinks self ID is a good idea, examples like this demonstrate why. Apparently that makes me transphobic, I don't care about the baseless accusations but I really don't want to see perfectly innocent people grouped together with men like this.

GCAcademic · 20/01/2023 12:08

I can't see this ending well. Some riled up dad is going to end up taking matters into their own hands. I appreciate that the police can't police to avoid this outcome, but I think it's probably inevitable.

BloodAndFire · 20/01/2023 12:09

Raquelos · 20/01/2023 12:08

Evidence relating to this individual is what I was after. I don't have any problem accepting the other evidence you reference as being relevant to a more general debate. I do have a problem with it being used to determine a course of action in relation to a specific individual that I don't have a lot of information bout beyond, his cross-dressing outside a school.

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RTFT

babsanderson · 20/01/2023 12:09

I would not be happy. But it is not a crime.
There is lots of behaviour that people do that I am not happy about that is not criminal. The police enforce the law, they do not make it.

Suzi888 · 20/01/2023 12:09

He can photos of children but the police say parents (or whoever) shouldn’t share photos of him? Jesus wept.

I’m shocked he hasn’t been harassed though. It’s not safe him to be doing it! If there are mental health issues involved, all the more reason.

Forfrigz · 20/01/2023 12:09

To be honest he sounds a bit vulnerable because if he was of sound mind he would know the dangers of him getting attacked which is obviously quite high. Not condoning or excusing his actions but frankly I would have doubts he's all there. I think the police should really have had a strong word with him and told him to stay away from schools and the children. It's not going to end well.

babsanderson · 20/01/2023 12:11

@FOJN ASBOs have been abolished except in Scotland. ASBOs could be used for things like this that are not a criminal offence. They no longer exist.

ArabellaScott · 20/01/2023 12:11

cross-dressing outside a school

Cross-dressing is a fetish, or a paraphilia. Paraphilias tend to cluster. Most involve non-consensual sexual activity.

Nobody is saying that this man wearing a wig and a school uniform and standing outside a school is a fetishist or a paedophile but there is a fairly high likelihood of him presenting a risk, and it would be madness to pretend otherwise.

Laying that aside and if nothing else, he risks eroding and undermining children's boundaries. Because it's not normal behaviour, and children should be taught to avoid and be cautious about men who are acting strangely around children.

And he is also risking his own safety, of course.

DesertIslandCondiment · 20/01/2023 12:11

lynch mob

Why are we a lynch mob because we all agree that this person is behaving incorrectly around children?

FOJN · 20/01/2023 12:12

MelchiorsMistress · 20/01/2023 12:05

This is like some kind of sick joke.

The more time goes on the more embarrassed I am to be British.

This insanity is affecting most of the western world. You could be forgiven for thinking it was orchestrated.

ArabellaScott · 20/01/2023 12:12

Forfrigz · 20/01/2023 12:09

To be honest he sounds a bit vulnerable because if he was of sound mind he would know the dangers of him getting attacked which is obviously quite high. Not condoning or excusing his actions but frankly I would have doubts he's all there. I think the police should really have had a strong word with him and told him to stay away from schools and the children. It's not going to end well.

Yes, the police have a responsibility to keep him safe, too.