To think that a man standing outside a school in girls uniform is not OK?

[crinklemum2]

Name changed as this is very local and he was seen wearing my DD's school uniform.

A local school uniform shop shared images to reassure parents they would not be selling him any items. Essex police say he poses no risk and people should stop sharing the photos. He looks to be late 50s/early 60s.

He's been seen around schools - both primary and secondary - dressed as a school girl (in their uniform). I am fucking outraged that the police don't seem to think that's an issue. God forbid we offend men or shame their fetishes.

AIBU that this must be an antisocial behaviour at the very least?

This guy probably identifies as a transbian, transgender, transage teenage girl, where are all the old guys who identify as old ladies or the teenage girls who identify as old men, do they even exist? Its all total bollocks designed to get access to their desired sexual objects.

I’ve got news for you hen. The thought police exist already, except they work for the other side. They arrest women in their own homes who have dared to say that a man in a dress is not a woman. Think on that one for a bit.

This!

I've just received a DM from a 44 year old man (who tells me he has a 9 year old child) telling me this isn't a crime and to be vigilant.

Mansplaining at its finest

Laying that aside and if nothing else, he risks eroding and undermining children's boundaries. Because it's not normal behaviour, and children should be taught to avoid and be cautious about men who are acting strangely around children.

This, safeguarding 101

Vulnerable

nonsense he might be choosing to put himself in a vulnerable situation but that is his choice to carry out his disgusting sexual fantasies in public the police should be doing their job

and yes I do think it’s a disgusting sexual fantasy even when in the privacy of someone’s own home there is harm is sexualising childhood as it won’t just be dressing up it’s where do they get these outfits from what sites are they looking at etc

That's very worrying. I would take warning you to be vigilant as a threat.

Sadly, it seems the dads here think it's a laugh and he's just a weirdo. It's the mums who are angry but been told, by the police, to pipe down about it and stop sharing the poor person's photo

I remember driving away from DS’s school some years ago and seeing a bloke dressed in black with a cam area with a very large telephoto lens attached returning to his car in a lay-by. He had been somewhere along a canal that ran along the boundary of the school playing fields. Normally I would have assumed he was bird watching as the area is very rural, but DS’s year we’re having school camp outs that week so he would have been able to watch 20 odd children running around before school on the playing field in various stages of dress.
Not long after a known paedophile was reported missing. He was known to go native in the countryside for days at a time camping and living of natures pantry. Well that’s what he told family. He was found in his car in the lane running along the other side of the school grounds having shot himself. He wasn’t a local but from the region. Who knows how long he had been visiting the area. And the fact he had a firearm was very disturbing.
I think anyone hanging around schools whether dressed as a woman or not should be treated with suspicion.
I did report the incident with the man with the camera to the headteacher who, like me, thought he was more likely to be bird watching but you never know.

Come out of the woodwork private message man so you can mansplain to all of us, I dare you 😉

Yet another reason on a long list of why we should overhaul school uniform so that it is gender neutral - my vote is for tracksuits. I watched a programme a few months ago where school girls were asked if they had been harassed while in school uniform and the majority said they had, which mirrors my own experience. They also googled girls school uniform and boys school uniform and the difference in search results were stark. Why are we allowing our girls and young women to be fetishised like this, particularly as most schools have strict uniform codes and the kids get little choice? Change the uniform and you remove the problem.

Camera not cam area

Helpful, however, if you'd taken your own delightful advice you might have been able to infer that I don't have that kind of time right now, hence my requests for pointers.

Maybe he is waiting to show it to someone?!

The men are laughing it off as they have not been subjected to being sexualised and dressing as a school boy hasn’t been sexualised

its not an excuse they have children they should be more aware of dangers it’s discussed far more openly now

This is a great idea, and uniforms are archaic anyway. OP, you should all start sending your girls to school in regular clothes until this man is dealt with, mess with the very premise.

Ah yes, we can't share his photo. Upsetting for him, you see.
what a creep.
Honestly sometimes I think i'm too angry about men and then I see something like this and think, nope, not angry enough.

When I was 16 I had a boyfriend who was 25 at the time. He was still (I found out later) hanging around the local sixth form college, which he had left 7 years earlier.

Years after we had split up, he told me that he still always fancied 16 or 17 year old girls, because that's how old he was in his own head. So it wasn't creepy or weird because internally he saw himself as a 16-yr-old.

He also used to do things like masturbate in underpasses or in semi-public places (obviously I did not know this at the time).

We haven't spoken in years but he is unsurprisingly a massive trans rights supporter online (he has a big online following) and sees himself as a wonderful defender of the oppressed.

I think there's a huge cluster of these behaviours that go together and it is not bigotry or 'lynching' to point out the glaringly obvious.

Nocutenamesleft
Could he be a dad who is trying to make his daughter laugh?!? Like why have you gone straight for sexual perv and fetish?!?

If this were the case why would he need uniforms from different schools??

If we want to protect the safety of women, girls and children behaviour like this can’t be justified with SN, vulnerable, MH issues. It absolutely can’t. If he has got any of the above then that’s his responsibility, it’s not the responsibility to teach children to brush aside their fear or how he makes them feel uncomfortable because of how HE feels. I’m fucking sick of this world as it is, sick of MEN doing whatever they want when they want and it being blanketed under a specific term which may as well translate to untouchable. He’s a wrongen

What do you expect the police/schoolnto do? He us committing no crime and has in fact a protected characteristic?

Do you understand what pedos are? Do you get that they’re not rate unicorns a put scarily common? Do you know what safeguarding is?
What do you think the motive is for a grown man to hang around a school in a school girls uniform? What innocent explanations do you believe there to be?

I've not rtff so forgive me if th8s has already been posted. The police saying they couldn't do anything didn't sit well with me. So, I googled 'weird asbos'. Guess what was the first story on the first result

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-10790872

From ten years ago, before 'authentic selves' and transphobia were a thing though.

And what protected characteristic would that be?

..and witnessing that is not going to frighten children?

You may have heard of a thing called safeguarding. It protects vulnerable cohorts from the possibility of harm.

Relative Risk (RR) is decided based upon both the previous actions of a specific cohort and the potential risk such actions could raise.

It is NOT predicated upon the specific actions of any individual (though Ian Huntley could easily be assumed to be an exception the that).

So even taking the bare bones of information, RR here would be decided based upon a number of issues:

1. The person is male
2. The person is loitering around 3 different schools
3. The person has no connection with any of those schools

Then you can add into that mix:

1. The person is cross dressing
2. The person may or may not have mental health issues
3. Other adults have been alarmed by his actions
4. Minors have been alarmed by his actions

And many more details that are NOT specific to this man in this place but are globally recognised as being aberrant.

What you seem to be suggesting is that we, society that is, must wait until a person actually offends, hurts someone, before we, as a society, can act. That is not how safeguarding works.