4th baby at 43?

[Ctu24agent]

Ok, so I’m fully prepared to get roasted here, but before you do, please hear me out!

We have 3 gorgeous kids (15, 7 and 1) I’m 43, hubby is 56. Both in good health. We’ve always wanted a large family, but for one reason or another… it didn’t happen easily. Hence the large age gaps.
(D7 has autism)

In an ideal world we would LOVE another one.

AIBU to try for another? We can afford another child, but are we too old?
I've gone backwards and forwards with this. Hubby is 100% for another.

wwyd?
yabu… you’re too old
nbu.. go for it, age is a number!

She asked if it was a good idea. We told her it wouldn't, cause it would be selfish.

Question answered.

You are absolutely having a laugh! Clearly just a troll on here. Enjoy yourself, goodnight.

But why is it selfish????!!

Can you read?

How many kids do you have? I see you've avoided an answer. How interesting...

I had the exact same issue with explaining why nobody needs a baby. They disagreed with that then when I asked for an example of a need, they came up with a want. I said that was my point made - that babies are wants, not needs - and they said they disagreed.

It’s like arguing with my cat.

Yes very well thank you. It’s none of your damn business, my life has nothing to do with you. I’m glad you find me so interesting

Agree with this.

Be sensible here OP, your DH will be 75 (assuming he makes it that far, which isn't a given) when your child turns 18. How is that fair to them?

I'm sure I'll be told I'm horrible for saying such a thing, but people need to face reality and think of the child's wellbeing, not just their own desires.

So 5 or 6 then :)

She has asked for people’s opinions. Would not be very helpful to her if everyone replied “none of my business”.

Absolute insanity.

Usually I'd think noooo don't do that. But since you have a one year old, you might as well. It's not like you'd be putting yourself back in the baby years as you're already there!

No, not too old! Good luck. Be happy. 🌹

I am child free not through choice and I would have had one at 43 had I been able to do so. But when you already have three, including one with additional needs, I am not so sure it is a good idea. And actually not really because of your age but more because of your husbands age. I think him having children in his mid 50s, especially when he already had two, is well a bit selfish.

You already have a 1 year old so the comments about being in a care home or bereavement also applies for the 1 year old. Since you've already got a 1 year old, you might as well have another one who will be close in age but if you didn't have a 1 year old I would have asked if you were nuts :)

@AlwaysLatte totally agree with you! 🙄

My mum has number 4 at 43! Was absolutely fine and he's such a fab addition to our family. In his 20s now and she has been a fab parent throughout. Go for it!

Go for it if that's right for your family and you have considered all the risks of a pregnancy in your 40s. I don't think there's anything wrong with your husband being 56 either.

In all honesty yes, I think 56 is way too old to be having babies. It's likely your husband will be dead by the time his grandchildren come along, that's quite sad. Obviously that's not the only reason.

But it doesn't matter what I think. If you're both healthy, responsible and can afford to, then have as many kids as you want. But I would factor in the increased risks to your baby and yourself when considering another. With both of you being older, the chances of further SEN or disabilities is higher.

Out of interest, what do you feel a 4th child will add to your family? I have three and I just can't really see why someone would actively feel the need for another, three already feels like a busy household to me.

56! Yes obviously that is too old. A child at school in your seventies is awful.

Your husband’s age, for me, is too advanced. I wouldn’t want a baby at your age but I do think, at nearly 60, your husband is too old.

I think having a dad who is over 70 coming to parents’ evening will be embarrassing for a 14 year old. When I was at school, a girl in our class was known for having very old parents, unfortunately. You need to think about your levels of energy, your knees and your backs at 65 plus!