To phone in sick

[KrossKriss]

If you worked in a school as a midday supervisor and you had a weekend away booked to celebrate a milestone birthday, would you ever contemplate phoning in sick so that you could take advantage of having the full day away? This is what I’m trying to decide but I’m torn.

I’m going away with my dh husband tomorrow and the other day he suggested phoning in sick so that we could set off early morning once our youngest dc is at school (instead of 1.30pm) so that we can explore the area, go for lunch etc before checking into our accommodation at 3pm. At first i said no but I’m now debating.

For context I know I only work an hour or so each day but I am far from work shy, I work very hard, but I’m struggling and have been for the last year. I struggle with anxiety and in the last year I’ve been diagnosed with autism, as has my dd. I have also for the last 18 months been struggling with (early) perimenopause. I’m a shadow of my former self and this last year there have been times I haven’t recognised myself, it’s been horrendous. I’ve been a weeping, emotional,
sleep deprived mess which ultimately has impacted ok every aspect of my life.

Now I know I’m ranting and i expect I know what you’re thinking, that I’m rhyming off all of my ailments to justify me wanting a day off work, but it’s not as simple as that. The job itself isn’t great. I didn’t go into the job with my blinkers on and I was under no illusion that it would be easy but in the relatively short time I’ve been in the role my anxiety has got worse. I’ve experienced borderline work place bullying from two members of staff that i really should’ve reported but I’m to soft, and my work load is ridiculous due to the same members of staff repeatedly phoning in sick for weeks at a time. It’s a thankless undervalued job and I dread going in most days. If i was happy in my job and as treated fairly I wouldn’t even be considering phoning in sick when I’m not poorly but then my dh (who has a solid work ethic and has only had three days off sick in 21 years) says it’s up to me but if he were so unhappy in his job he wouldn’t care less and just take the day off. Thoughts?

They could easily just read this post and put two and two together

In my school we are so short since Christmas every teacher and the Head is covering lunchtime. I don’t remember the last time we had a full week without a teacher covering lunch.

Why can I hear a cat miaowing in the background of your post?

Just tell them now you wont be in on such and such date cos your husband has booked a few days away for your birthday.

It's tomorrow

No, @Aprilx i haven’t just decided to announce that I have a child with complex needs. I wrote this in my first post.

OP I've worked in schools for 12 years. As a MDS you have 13 weeks a year where you can add days to your weekend away without skiving. You know that chucking a sickie is going to impact on your colleagues.

But honestly, you need to take some time out. Seek support for your MH and your autism. MDS is a challenging role, but only 7.5 hours a week. It shouldn't be this hard.

I pulled the odd sickie when I was much younger for social reasons and the truth is, I never enjoyed them as much as I thought I would because I felt so guilty about it.
So, I’d say don’t do it, but do make a priority of trying to find a new, better job as it sounds like this one is no good for you.
Enjoy your weekend away!

Thanks @SwishSwishBisch this is the plan.

lots of back and forthing on this post but the reality is your giving excuses to justify pulling a sicky.

The reasons listed don’t warrant pulling one to get on a holiday weekend earlier. They justify calling in because you’ve had enough and can’t face the day, but no, not for the weekend away.

I’m a manager and if for whatever reason I found out I’d be inviting you to an absence meeting. It also surprises me how you would enjoy it if you suffer with anxiety as it would eat me up not knowing if they’d find out and if I’d lose my job for the sake of setting off a couple of hours early.

what about my suggestion upthread?

Working in a school in any capacity at the moment it's stressful. People can not understand the true extent unless they have actually been in doing it recently.
Everyone is so stretched there is no time to provide the full care you want to
Sadly most mainstream schools now have children that are undiagnosed and that has an effect on the other children and all the staff.

Knowing how stretched everyone is, I think it would be rather inconsiderate to willing make someone else's day and job harder.
Don't let other peoples actions change who you are, if you are a decent person who normally wouldn't do it, don't do it just because others have or do.

If they found out is a relevant point - they are extremely unlikely to find out if OP keeps it discreet.
I am support staff in a school and tbh there is high absenteeism, far more than for managers or teachers I imagine. The reason is simple - we are badly paid and get little respect within school apart from within our own team (if lucky, sounds like OP doesn't even get that).

Sorry @BobDear i must have skimmed past your post. There isn’t really anyone I can ask to cover me and I doubt I’d be allowed to do this anyway.

what about my suggestion upthread?

I can only suggest knowing schools that there is no one to cover, budgets now rarely have any unused hours, so all the other MDs will have their own shifts and responsibilities to cover.
Anyone would have to be an addition which then falls to TAs who don't want to be giving up their lunch times, so if asked, rightly so, they will refuse. However they do get drafted in, if someone rings in sick and their is no budget or availability of agency staff.

If you've kept quiet and otherwise have a good attendance record. I'd phone in sick

Sorry if that's wrong @KrossKriss, that's our experience with our MDAs

@KrossKriss why are you ignoring this question? I've asked 3 times now.

If you feel like as you do about your job, burnt out and stressed by it, why aren't you calling in sick today? Or any of the other days before your planned sickie? Why is it specifically the day you go on away?

OP no one take sickies on Mumsnet so they won’t tell you what you want to hear.

However, as a fellow autistic, early menopauser who has been through a rough twenty years, I give you my full permission.

Phone in sick and enjoy your weekend. Then have a think about what you want to do about the job. It must be a right old palaver doing one hour of work a day for a pittance. For the same amount of money couldn’t you do a couple of self-employed cleaning jobs? Just put an advert on NextDoor or deliver some leaflets. Then you can choose nice clients and you won’t be bullied. Message me if you need more advice as I don’t respond to replies on threads.

If you don't like it leave. Loads of jobs about.

I was going to phone in sick on Monday as I had only slept for 3 hours and I’d had a nightmare of a morning trying to get my dd to school as she had multiple meltdowns refused to go on school transport etc. I was exhausted but as I’d been asked to go in earlier that day as a photographer was booked to take staff photographs I couldn’t not turn up.

Thank you @Dreamsoffreedomjoyandpeace i appreciate it. I’m limited to either weekend work or school hours but I’m determined to find another job that will work better for me.

Why are people saying to just ‘ring in sick and enjoy yourself’?! Isn’t that what annual leave is for?! Im glad I know not to let my colleagues down at last minute because I fancy a day off. What goes around comes around. Request time off if you want time off.

No job is worth the amount of anguish this is causing you, OP. Don't phone in sick, just quit! If they struggle to fill vacancies that's a problem for way above your pay grade.

I am a MDS and agree it is incredibly stressful and I'm dreading going in. I'm not ringing in sick though unless I am sick. I am however thinking of handing my notice in today although I feel guilty.