To phone in sick

[KrossKriss]

If you worked in a school as a midday supervisor and you had a weekend away booked to celebrate a milestone birthday, would you ever contemplate phoning in sick so that you could take advantage of having the full day away? This is what I’m trying to decide but I’m torn.

I’m going away with my dh husband tomorrow and the other day he suggested phoning in sick so that we could set off early morning once our youngest dc is at school (instead of 1.30pm) so that we can explore the area, go for lunch etc before checking into our accommodation at 3pm. At first i said no but I’m now debating.

For context I know I only work an hour or so each day but I am far from work shy, I work very hard, but I’m struggling and have been for the last year. I struggle with anxiety and in the last year I’ve been diagnosed with autism, as has my dd. I have also for the last 18 months been struggling with (early) perimenopause. I’m a shadow of my former self and this last year there have been times I haven’t recognised myself, it’s been horrendous. I’ve been a weeping, emotional,
sleep deprived mess which ultimately has impacted ok every aspect of my life.

Now I know I’m ranting and i expect I know what you’re thinking, that I’m rhyming off all of my ailments to justify me wanting a day off work, but it’s not as simple as that. The job itself isn’t great. I didn’t go into the job with my blinkers on and I was under no illusion that it would be easy but in the relatively short time I’ve been in the role my anxiety has got worse. I’ve experienced borderline work place bullying from two members of staff that i really should’ve reported but I’m to soft, and my work load is ridiculous due to the same members of staff repeatedly phoning in sick for weeks at a time. It’s a thankless undervalued job and I dread going in most days. If i was happy in my job and as treated fairly I wouldn’t even be considering phoning in sick when I’m not poorly but then my dh (who has a solid work ethic and has only had three days off sick in 21 years) says it’s up to me but if he were so unhappy in his job he wouldn’t care less and just take the day off. Thoughts?

You have a full time job. Looking after your daughter.

i am in a very similar situation, because of Ds needs I haven’t been able to go out to work for 5 years. Things are now stabilising enough that I have taken on a dinner lady job. I love it and for me going is actually a break from the day to day of caring full time. If it was an extra stress for me I would be moving away to put my own well being first.

you can’t pour from an empty cup.

I am one of those mythical people who has never pulled a sickie. Worked full time in the public sector all my life. Last called in sick during a migraine 25 years ago and felt so guilty I haven’t called in sick since.

I only know one person in my close family and friends who would pull a sickie. She makes things really hard for colleagues.

But I don’t think the six hours a week will actually be as easy as it seems. Not even to me as a full time/antisocial hours worker.

I think one six hour shift a week is a dream. But having to go in for one to two hours every day, bang in the middle of the day must seem quite full-on if you include travel time. OP if I were you I would try and do something that doesn’t involve daily work, as that is probably what’s overwhelming you. Maybe one to two days a week, or even a zero hours contract might be better for you. With some full days off.

Many women give up work and never try again after having babies. At least you have made the first steps towards adding to your CV.

Have a long think about the next move. And happy birthday.

It’s only so you can get to the area you’re staying in a couple of hours earlier.
Don’t call in sick. You’re not sick, so that would be lying. I’m personally not a liar, so it’s not right in my eyes.

Just do the job you are committed to do and look for another job next week. You can’t use all those huge reasons as an excuse to take one day off, and then not bother to change things overall by looking for a new job. Otherwise they’re just excuses that are convenient for you to use for tomorrow, not real issues.

Oh absolutely and I don’t doubt being underpaid and not respected! Take time off for it, I encourage my team to look after their wellbeing by taking time off. I don’t encourage them to call in sick to get Ona. Weekend break earlier and I don’t support them saying works is xyz and suggest they’re then entitled to do so. They’re not, take time off sure, not for this reason though And whether they find out or not, not worth the risk for a couple of hours extra away in my opinion

Most school staff can’t book annual leave - we are expected to take holidays in the school holidays but that’s not always convenient with the rest of our family

I agree. It's a bloody hard job and unless you've experienced it you wouldn't understand.

You sound very caring toward the children OP and I was the same.

It's lovely when you have a good shift and the kids make you laugh or sing to you on your birthday etc.

But for me the bad outweighed the good.

I did it as permitted work to go with my ESA. I was exhausted.

I've worked full time in a busy office for years and years before I took poorly.

Give me that any day over dealing with a playground full of little ones.

It's hard work!!

I would seriously consider leaving if you can and maybe doing a few hours in a shop or something? Or cleaning at a school?

Look after yourself OP.

Ignore the rude uppity comments on here!

My entire family with the exception of my mum and sister (nursing and police respectively) are/ were teachers. Therefore they didn’t ring in sick when their work got in the way of plans they had. It doesn’t justify ringing in sick. Who else does the work?

Maybe from your high horse you are finding reading a challenge, as it was in the OP's first post 🙄

What is a midday supervisor?
Is it supervising children on their lunch break as they eat or when they go out to play ?
Why could you not have asked for the hour off in advance ?
I don't live in the UK.

1:120 ratio of adults to kids at lunchtime is a massive safeguarding problem. Speak to your designated safeguarding officer. It is very unsafe practice for teachers to be releasing kids into your care if you are the only staff member on duty - they also have a duty to ensure that the children are safe.

Well I’ve just got back from and I currently sat here drained. I know that may make some of you laugh, you no, the one who called me lazy for just working an hour a day. But when you have sensory difficulties surrounding noise like I do and struggle with to many people speaking at once (kids that age can’t wait their turn) it’s blood draining. I walked out the building feeling stressed after just one hour which is not good. So, I’ve decided to one look for another job and to not phone in sick tomorrow. To those of you who were actually helpful and nice with your responses, regardless or not if you agreed with me, thank you, and to those of you who called me work shy and lazy, up yours! That’s the last you’ll hear on the subject.

Have you thought about volunteering in a charity shop or something to improve your CV, cut down your working days, work with adults rather than children and have more flexibility for days off?

Ideally what line of work would you want in the long run? Can you look for something voluntary related linked to that? Or linked to something you enjoy?

Of course it's no OK to pull a sickie. I can't believe that anyone would even ask this. You have made a commitment, so just go to work.

@KrossKriss - I've sent you a pm.

Please ignore the people who think it's funny to mock the limits that are created by being neurodiverse. Pretty sure they wouldn't mock someone in a wheelchair for their limitations, but if you're autistic, apparently you're fair game.

Fine to disagree with OP regarding pulling a sickie - but mocking and deriding her for only being able to cope with an hour per day and finding it hard, is disgusting. You wouldn't laugh at a physically disabled person for having physical limits - show the same consideration to other disabilities.

to ask whether you should blatantly lie and let others down seems a bit of a strange question. This has been pre booked so you should have booked annual or flexi leave. If you hate your job look for something else, don’t screw your colleagues and the service users over.

I hear you Op. You should look for another job, it is not worth the stress, or unhappiness. Good luck.