To phone in sick

[KrossKriss]

If you worked in a school as a midday supervisor and you had a weekend away booked to celebrate a milestone birthday, would you ever contemplate phoning in sick so that you could take advantage of having the full day away? This is what I’m trying to decide but I’m torn.

I’m going away with my dh husband tomorrow and the other day he suggested phoning in sick so that we could set off early morning once our youngest dc is at school (instead of 1.30pm) so that we can explore the area, go for lunch etc before checking into our accommodation at 3pm. At first i said no but I’m now debating.

For context I know I only work an hour or so each day but I am far from work shy, I work very hard, but I’m struggling and have been for the last year. I struggle with anxiety and in the last year I’ve been diagnosed with autism, as has my dd. I have also for the last 18 months been struggling with (early) perimenopause. I’m a shadow of my former self and this last year there have been times I haven’t recognised myself, it’s been horrendous. I’ve been a weeping, emotional,
sleep deprived mess which ultimately has impacted ok every aspect of my life.

Now I know I’m ranting and i expect I know what you’re thinking, that I’m rhyming off all of my ailments to justify me wanting a day off work, but it’s not as simple as that. The job itself isn’t great. I didn’t go into the job with my blinkers on and I was under no illusion that it would be easy but in the relatively short time I’ve been in the role my anxiety has got worse. I’ve experienced borderline work place bullying from two members of staff that i really should’ve reported but I’m to soft, and my work load is ridiculous due to the same members of staff repeatedly phoning in sick for weeks at a time. It’s a thankless undervalued job and I dread going in most days. If i was happy in my job and as treated fairly I wouldn’t even be considering phoning in sick when I’m not poorly but then my dh (who has a solid work ethic and has only had three days off sick in 21 years) says it’s up to me but if he were so unhappy in his job he wouldn’t care less and just take the day off. Thoughts?

Yep. No shame in doing it. Just don't take the piss. I only did it one time and don't plan on doing it again.

Why not? if "most people do it" then why not carry on then? because you are using the "everyone does it" to justify it. Thats why.

Actually the children think i’m
great. I have a lot more time and patience for them than some other staff do. Even when I’m pushed for time I’ll somehow make time to listen to them and make sure they’re ok in themselves. Every day I walk into class and the children immediately walk over to hug me and for the most part when we are out on the playground they will come to me rather than going to other members or start as they know I’ll listen to them where as other staff will say oh you’re fine your fine to simply get rid of them.

No I wouldn’t do this.

Firstly you would have to be very careful about who you tell about your weekend away … because if you tell your colleagues, I am sure they will connect the dots.

Secondly, it’s not really an emergency or justifiable to leave your colleagues short staffed like that.

I don’t think it’s worth lying for the sake of a few hours.

I hope you have a lovely weekend away though 🙂

There is a third option that might work?

Closer to the truth as well.

Can you ask a colleague to cover you (and offer to reciprocate) and then tell the school that your DH planned a surprise trip for your birthday, assuming you could arrange a day off to travel, but you knew that wasn't how things work so instead you've arranged for XXX to cover your shift?

That way, you have offered a solution rather than dropping everyone in it.

LOL!!!! I'd gladly swap my 50+ hours a week on two jobs for an hour a day term time! FFS.

yes, but if you re-read her op, she IS burning out and needs the break, and her other posts have covered the fact that like a lot of autistic people, she struggled with transition, so it'll take her some time after work on the friday to relax enough to transition to holiday mode.

Not going in friday so she can properly relax and enjoy her weekend away is the sensible move considering her disability and current emotional state.

Because I'm not and I'm sorry but most people do it.

so depressing no wonder public sector workers are seen as skivers.
people like you give the others a bad name.
Imagine pretending to be sick when you are not?
Imagine putting all this nonsense on a public forum at a time when many public sector workers are striking not only because of pay but because of the impact successive government cuts have made in public services.
Your colleagues may be about to take unpaid time off striking to improve conditions fir the school and all you can think of is yourself and your trip away.
If you are so valuable as you say i'm sure the headteacher will give you an hour off.

Why are you even working there? Sounds awful, you obviously hate it and it's having a detrimental effect on you. For 1 hour or so a day the money is hardly worth it. Just quit and find something you like.

I have called in sick in the past and whether I was sick or not was always riddled with guilt and anxiety, so I would imagine if you do this it will start your weekend off adding to your anxiety.

In my opinion that's using MH to fit the circumstances. If someone is burning out then they need help now, not on a planned weekend away.

If your MH is that bad then speak to your employer, take some unpaid leave (as I'm guessing they don't have a holiday based on that allowance) visit the GP and rest and recuperate.

Burnout doesn't fade after one Friday off. Its actually a little insulting for anyone whos been through a real burnout to suggest a weekend away would solve all your problems. Burnout is a medical issue, don't trivialize it.

If you call in sick you will feel guilty. You will have to stay in the house until departure time so that nobody that has any connection to your work sees you fit and well. You will have to keep your head down/hidden in the car until you get out of your area for the same reason. You'll have to be very careful what you say to anyone at work when you return, not just immediately but in the future. For the sake of an hour I wouldn't.

Next time book the time off in advance or arrange cover. Tell your DH he'll just have to wait - you could depart straight after work if he has everything ready and picks you up from work?

OP just do what will give you the less anxiety x

@dogdaydown to be fair the op hasn’t said that those are her criteria though. We don’t know what those are. And it really is an employees market, there’s a massive shortage of talent across the board - hugely different to 2010s when employers were bombarded with CVs.

So if you want to jump ship to something new, there’s not been a better time in a long time.

For those of you who have replied in a polite manner, regardless of not whether you agree with me, thank you I really appreciate it. Phoning in sick doesn’t sit well with me so I doubt I am going to do it, but at the same time, and I don’t care what anyone says, I am burned out and I just wanted a day off with my husband, without my kids being here. That might sound selfish but I’ve spent my life putting the needs of everyone else first including, partners, kids, extended family members, employers etc and for once I was just desperate to be selfish and put myself first.

For goodness sake, you've got 14 weeks a year when you can arrange a weekend away without messing up your employers. Rearrange it for one of those weeks.

who is trivialising anything? I've been there.. i had to take a whole 3 months unpaid leave from work when i was at that point... i'm well aware one weekend away won't 'fix' anything like that.. it will provide some downtime though, and maximising the time by not having to throw the added stress of transition in there isnt a bad thing.

The fact that she only works a short amount of hours, does not detract from how stressful, and exhausting the job is though, does it? That is the point I was making, for all those who seem to have no problem belittling the job that she does.

A lunchtime supervisor in the classroom and restraining children?

She doesn’t work hard, she literally does very little work indeed. And I am sure that the majority of posters working full time, would not think that five hours a week term time is more challenging and “shut up”.

And it is relevant to the thread because here is a person that does very little work anyway and wants to do even less than she already does and dump on her colleagues in the process.

Care days are not a thing.

There are two separate issues here (though they are connected).

1. The imminent weekend away and wanting to call in sick. No, you should not do that. It is not fair to anyone at work and you should not be using other people's behaviour in this regard to justify your own. You could have tried to ask for a day off for the milestone birthday in advance, but it is shitty to leave other people in the lurch.
2. The second issue is that of your mental health and autism and how you feel about the job. If you hate it that much and you are suffering then you should go to the GP to discuss support and possibly quit the job and find something else which is bettered suited. You should not be using this to justify a short-notice sickie because you want to go away for the day.

I'm afraid all your posts just sound like dodgy justifications for doing something which is not acceptable - pulling a sickie at short notice because you are going away.
There is no reason whatsoever why you can't go to work at lunchtime and then leave for the weekend break straight afterwards. That's what plenty of other workers have to do and the majority of them will have to work until 5 or 6 pm on a Friday before a weekend away. I've done it many a time myself - straight out of work and onto the train.

Well, it does, really. Having to do that amount of work for 6 or 7 hours a day is much more stressful and exhausting than doing it one hour a day, self-evidently.

Why can I hear a violin screeching in the background?