To phone in sick

[KrossKriss]

If you worked in a school as a midday supervisor and you had a weekend away booked to celebrate a milestone birthday, would you ever contemplate phoning in sick so that you could take advantage of having the full day away? This is what I’m trying to decide but I’m torn.

I’m going away with my dh husband tomorrow and the other day he suggested phoning in sick so that we could set off early morning once our youngest dc is at school (instead of 1.30pm) so that we can explore the area, go for lunch etc before checking into our accommodation at 3pm. At first i said no but I’m now debating.

For context I know I only work an hour or so each day but I am far from work shy, I work very hard, but I’m struggling and have been for the last year. I struggle with anxiety and in the last year I’ve been diagnosed with autism, as has my dd. I have also for the last 18 months been struggling with (early) perimenopause. I’m a shadow of my former self and this last year there have been times I haven’t recognised myself, it’s been horrendous. I’ve been a weeping, emotional,
sleep deprived mess which ultimately has impacted ok every aspect of my life.

Now I know I’m ranting and i expect I know what you’re thinking, that I’m rhyming off all of my ailments to justify me wanting a day off work, but it’s not as simple as that. The job itself isn’t great. I didn’t go into the job with my blinkers on and I was under no illusion that it would be easy but in the relatively short time I’ve been in the role my anxiety has got worse. I’ve experienced borderline work place bullying from two members of staff that i really should’ve reported but I’m to soft, and my work load is ridiculous due to the same members of staff repeatedly phoning in sick for weeks at a time. It’s a thankless undervalued job and I dread going in most days. If i was happy in my job and as treated fairly I wouldn’t even be considering phoning in sick when I’m not poorly but then my dh (who has a solid work ethic and has only had three days off sick in 21 years) says it’s up to me but if he were so unhappy in his job he wouldn’t care less and just take the day off. Thoughts?

Presumably it’s our taxes that pay you?

As a tax payer and as someone with a child in school:

If you need sick leave then take it. If you are burnt out and don’t feel you can do your job without it damaging your health then take as much sick leave as you can/need.

If you want a long weekend, but could work, then it’s unacceptable to take a sickie.

See your GP if you do feel like you need a length of time off. Your mental
health is as important as your physical health.

I would do it OP, enjoy yourself it sounds like you deserve it

This. The rest is just excuses.

autistic burnout is a very real thing, and it's not related to the number of hours you work

I believe it, but that's not why OP wants to phone in sick. She wants to do it so she can leave for her holiday earlier.

No - it's her husband who wants to leave earlier. She's asking whether she should go along with it or not.

@StalkedByASpider I wasn't referring to you no. I would have tagged/replied to you if I was. The OP initial question was 'would you ever contemplate phoning in sick so that you could take advantage of having a full day away?'. Shows full well the intention was to skive off work. If the OP had phrased the very start of the post 'I'm feeling overwhelmed' 'I'm feeling stressed and unwell' she could have got plenty of 'nice' responses. The initial questions shows the intent.

Ring in sick and go and enjoy yourself! Happy birthday 🎈

I think you should go in to work, not because it's best for the school or you're an evil person if you phone in sick....but because I think you will not be able to relax fully knowing you have lied. And you will worry about slipping up in future.

I do think you should also look for another job. The place you work isn't working for you. It should not be so stressful as a mid day supervisor. Find a workplace that works for you. It could be another school, or maybe a day nursery. I worked in one where a midday helper came in to cover lunches so she would never be alone but be with the rest of the team while one staff at a time took their lunch. You may find that less stressful.

No, I wouldn't and if I knew you l might even dob you in.
I might go AWOL though. Whatever I did I'd own it.

Thank you @StalkedByASpider. You have explained how I feel day in day out. I genuinely am not using my autism as an excuse for my choices, i was simply trying to explain that I’m struggling and that for once I was considering saying sod it and going what i want. I expected for a lot of people not to agree with me but what I didn’t expect was for some people to essentially mock me for the number of hours I work and make fun of me.

I say go for it 😊 im sure everyone on mumsnet has skived at least once or they are just so perfect 🙄

Buuuuut the OP is not actually sick….

Don’t do it OP. it’s dishonest, and it won’t (or certainly shouldn’t) make you feel better about yourself or your life.

Enjoy your weekend.

So would I, no one is ever irreplaceable.

No. You need to take responsibility for your life. You seem to be justifying lying about being sick purely because you dont like the job. That doesnt make it ok.

If the job isnt a good fit then search for a new one- there are lots of jobs out there because everyone is currently understaffed. Lying and calling in sick isnt a good idea and its merely avoiding the real issue which is your unhappiness in the job.

Bit of a stupid move really taking a job in a school then complaining that you can't take term time off! Have you only just thought about that?

Christ its just a one off. I've only ever skived once in 16 years of working

Why wouldn't you just book it as leave?

You want to pull a sickie and are using your mental health to justify it to us and yourself. If you need help with your MH that’s fine, seek it but don’t use it as an excuse to make yourself feel better.

No. I don't think your job or personal circumstances are relevant. I would not take a day off sick unless I was sick or my children were. I certainly wouldn't do it and go on holiday. Some people would.

On another not if you're struggling, having a difficult year and don't actually like the job them why don't you quit?

You can’t book days off when you work in a school. Well at least I can’t anyway. Ideally I wanted to wait a few weeks and go away at February half term but we cannot afford to pay those prices and my mum is away that week so wouldn’t be able to mind out dc

This makes no sense- you knew if you took a job in a school you'd be working terms times. You also get school holidays off presumably which are generous? You cant take a job knowing the terms and then whine about it being unfair. Dont work in a school then.

Personally I would not . And I have never pulled a sickie . Not everyone has .

I've worked as LTS and I ended up walking out after the end of a shift never to return.

It was the last day before summer hols.

It's a shit job. All the training and responsibility for a very low pay.

Plus expected to stay behind every day to log things on the system.

The behaviour of so many of the children is dire.

Plenty of lovely ones thar brighten your say but when you have to deal with the difficult ones it's just a nightmare.

We had one child running round the field kicking and punching everyone else.

Other LTS had to stand and shield 2 girls who were crying their eyes out.

The boy attacking everyone had to just be left because we were not allowed to restrain him at all.

It took over 10 mins for management to come and sort him.

Bloody ridiculous!!

I left in tears on several occasions.

Not worth it at all.

The guilt would ruin the trip for me. I get that you work an hour and it's not like the school with have to be shut down but my conscious would never let me agree to it. If you don't worry in this way then you have no worries