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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To phone in sick

244 replies

KrossKriss · 19/01/2023 08:35

If you worked in a school as a midday supervisor and you had a weekend away booked to celebrate a milestone birthday, would you ever contemplate phoning in sick so that you could take advantage of having the full day away? This is what I’m trying to decide but I’m torn.

I’m going away with my dh husband tomorrow and the other day he suggested phoning in sick so that we could set off early morning once our youngest dc is at school (instead of 1.30pm) so that we can explore the area, go for lunch etc before checking into our accommodation at 3pm. At first i said no but I’m now debating.

For context I know I only work an hour or so each day but I am far from work shy, I work very hard, but I’m struggling and have been for the last year. I struggle with anxiety and in the last year I’ve been diagnosed with autism, as has my dd. I have also for the last 18 months been struggling with (early) perimenopause. I’m a shadow of my former self and this last year there have been times I haven’t recognised myself, it’s been horrendous. I’ve been a weeping, emotional,
sleep deprived mess which ultimately has impacted ok every aspect of my life.

Now I know I’m ranting and i expect I know what you’re thinking, that I’m rhyming off all of my ailments to justify me wanting a day off work, but it’s not as simple as that. The job itself isn’t great. I didn’t go into the job with my blinkers on and I was under no illusion that it would be easy but in the relatively short time I’ve been in the role my anxiety has got worse. I’ve experienced borderline work place bullying from two members of staff that i really should’ve reported but I’m to soft, and my work load is ridiculous due to the same members of staff repeatedly phoning in sick for weeks at a time. It’s a thankless undervalued job and I dread going in most days. If i was happy in my job and as treated fairly I wouldn’t even be considering phoning in sick when I’m not poorly but then my dh (who has a solid work ethic and has only had three days off sick in 21 years) says it’s up to me but if he were so unhappy in his job he wouldn’t care less and just take the day off. Thoughts?

OP posts:
RedCarsGoFaster · 19/01/2023 08:36

No. Not worth it. Your job is much more important. Pulling sickies will get you sacked in the end. Save your sick leave for when you actually need it.

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/01/2023 08:36

Sounds like you should just quit.

orangelous · 19/01/2023 08:38

can't you ask for the time off and make it up some other time?
Also perhaps you should be actively looking for another job?

Overthebow · 19/01/2023 08:38

No, I wouldn’t lie and phone in sick to go on holiday. If you’re not happy with your job then quit but don’t pull a sick day.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 19/01/2023 08:38

If you're struggling that badly you need to see a GP and get yourself some help.

Speaking from experience, calling in sick is just delaying the inevitable and it won't make you feel any better in the long run.

dogdaydown · 19/01/2023 08:38

But they'll know it's not true, if you've been away for the weekend?

rightsaidfreddie · 19/01/2023 08:39

No.

Irresponsible and disrespectful!

DestinysGrandchild · 19/01/2023 08:40

They'l know you're lying if any of them find out you've been away (if you haven't said anything already). It's not worth it.

42isthemeaning · 19/01/2023 08:41

As someone who works in a school I'd rather you didn't! Someone else will now have to give up their lunch because you're not doing their job.
You will probably have a guilty conscience and not enjoy things the way you would have otherwise.

Sirzy · 19/01/2023 08:43

Presumably your colleagues know it’s your birthday and you’re going away? They would be mighty pissed off with you.

it may be “just” an hour but that hour still needs children to be properly supervised and being a staff member down makes that harder

Aprilx · 19/01/2023 08:43

I think it would be blatantly obvious that you were not really sick, as surely you have told colleagues about the big birthday and weekend away. Your other list of complaints suggest that perhaps you should think about quitting, but in no way justifies chucking a sickie.

Original poster
KrossKriss · 19/01/2023 08:44

How would they find out I’ve been away though. My (milestone) birthday is only Friday of next week and I plan on going into work that day so if I were an employer it wouldn’t appear iffy if they phoned in sick the weeks before said birthday.

OP posts:
dogdaydown · 19/01/2023 08:45

KrossKriss · 19/01/2023 08:44

How would they find out I’ve been away though. My (milestone) birthday is only Friday of next week and I plan on going into work that day so if I were an employer it wouldn’t appear iffy if they phoned in sick the weeks before said birthday.

Facebook, a slip of the tongue, chit chat?

AuntieMarys · 19/01/2023 08:45

It's a shitty thing to do the day before. You should have asked for a day off in advance.

Sechskrügelgasse · 19/01/2023 08:45

No. You're not sick. I'm sure everyone will be really pleased for you next week when you come back and tell them all about your weekend away. I'm usually all for people taking their sick days, but when they are unwell and couldn't work a full day. Not when they only work one hourish shifts and they just want to trot off on their jollies a bit earlier.

But I'm sure you're going to go ahead and be dishonest anyway so what's the point of asking MN?

Aprilx · 19/01/2023 08:45

KrossKriss · 19/01/2023 08:44

How would they find out I’ve been away though. My (milestone) birthday is only Friday of next week and I plan on going into work that day so if I were an employer it wouldn’t appear iffy if they phoned in sick the weeks before said birthday.

Do you not talk to people? Confused

Original poster
KrossKriss · 19/01/2023 08:45

Oh and I haven’t told colleagues about my birthday or the fact I’m going away. Not because I’d previously planned not to go in but because I don’t discuss my private life at work.

OP posts:
romdowa · 19/01/2023 08:45

I'd do it. Infact I'd self certify for a few days. Give yourself a bit of a break.

SauSest · 19/01/2023 08:46

No way would I phone in sick and then be seen out and about, even if it's in another area. You could bump into someone you know who also knows someone you work with, could have a car crash etc.
You risk losing your job for the sake of a few hours. Not worth it unless you hate the job and plan to give it up anyway

Sechskrügelgasse · 19/01/2023 08:46

KrossKriss · 19/01/2023 08:45

Oh and I haven’t told colleagues about my birthday or the fact I’m going away. Not because I’d previously planned not to go in but because I don’t discuss my private life at work.

You've clearly already made up your mind. Why are you bothering to ask us?

Original poster
KrossKriss · 19/01/2023 08:47

I’ve not made my mind up at all. I simply said that I haven’t told colleagues about my birthday or weekend away, that’s all.

OP posts:
YourGazeHitsTheSideOfMyFace · 19/01/2023 08:47

You can go to work and still get away at 1.30, which gives you an extra half-day over someone who works full time, and travelling at lunchtime on a Friday is much easier than first thing in the morning. I couldn’t justify to myself lying and leaving everyone in the lurch for the sake of setting off, what, 4 hours later? When you already have all the rest of the weekend?

If you dislike your job, then quit and find another one. But don’t get a reputation for messing people around.

DestinysGrandchild · 19/01/2023 08:48

Even if nobody finds out, you shouldn't skive.

madeyemoody · 19/01/2023 08:48

Phone in sick, if it's not something you do regularly then it's no big deal. If there is no system to request time off then call in sick. Life is short and for living, go and explore with your husband, milestone birthdays are hard mentally so go and enjoy yourself. The school and job will be there Monday when you get back. It's one shift and you work hard. Someone said no because someone else would have to do it; well yes..that's what happens when a staff member is sick.

Whinge · 19/01/2023 08:49

You've clearly already made up your mind. Why are you bothering to ask us?

This / \

You're clearly going to skive off work to start the holiday early.