To phone in sick

[KrossKriss]

If you worked in a school as a midday supervisor and you had a weekend away booked to celebrate a milestone birthday, would you ever contemplate phoning in sick so that you could take advantage of having the full day away? This is what I’m trying to decide but I’m torn.

I’m going away with my dh husband tomorrow and the other day he suggested phoning in sick so that we could set off early morning once our youngest dc is at school (instead of 1.30pm) so that we can explore the area, go for lunch etc before checking into our accommodation at 3pm. At first i said no but I’m now debating.

For context I know I only work an hour or so each day but I am far from work shy, I work very hard, but I’m struggling and have been for the last year. I struggle with anxiety and in the last year I’ve been diagnosed with autism, as has my dd. I have also for the last 18 months been struggling with (early) perimenopause. I’m a shadow of my former self and this last year there have been times I haven’t recognised myself, it’s been horrendous. I’ve been a weeping, emotional,
sleep deprived mess which ultimately has impacted ok every aspect of my life.

Now I know I’m ranting and i expect I know what you’re thinking, that I’m rhyming off all of my ailments to justify me wanting a day off work, but it’s not as simple as that. The job itself isn’t great. I didn’t go into the job with my blinkers on and I was under no illusion that it would be easy but in the relatively short time I’ve been in the role my anxiety has got worse. I’ve experienced borderline work place bullying from two members of staff that i really should’ve reported but I’m to soft, and my work load is ridiculous due to the same members of staff repeatedly phoning in sick for weeks at a time. It’s a thankless undervalued job and I dread going in most days. If i was happy in my job and as treated fairly I wouldn’t even be considering phoning in sick when I’m not poorly but then my dh (who has a solid work ethic and has only had three days off sick in 21 years) says it’s up to me but if he were so unhappy in his job he wouldn’t care less and just take the day off. Thoughts?

I'm not sure many places allow for "care days"

The job is shit, you hate it, it will result in no deaths or injuries not being there - meh, fuck it. You’re a long time dead op.

also, quit when you’re back. It’s an employees market at the moment, there are lots of jobs.

A what?

please don’t expect a nice kind response from here, no mumsnetter ever ‘threw a sicky’ in all their working lives.

That fit in with school holidays and require such short amount of hours? Really?

This doesn't add context. I have autism, I hold down a full time job and don't pull sick days because I want to go on holiday. There are plenty of women on MN who also have autism. It's not an excuse to go on holiday earlier!

Maybe you should think about leaving this job. It is not worth it, if it is making you ill. It is a lot of stress, and responsibility for a pittance of a wage. You should have just booked the day off in advance though. It would have given them time to find cover for you.

Whinge That's not the way it works in schools, MDSs just have to get on with it with no help from anywhere else. We should have eight on our team, we only have six. They just can't get people to stay, and that's despite the cost of living and SAHMs trying to earn something within school hours.

I do understand the burnout, OP. I do enjoy it (well I used to, think I enjoy it sometimes now), but it's physically demanding in terms putting tables and chairs out and away, cleaning, sweeping, checking off register and first aid alongside an adundance of paperwork to complete - all in 75 mins and 300 children going through. If you're outside, you'll regularly have one child on each hand you need to take in for first aid (but you're aware of a couple of issues on playground that need investigation). Also, you need to report first aid and other issues to teachers, coats/water bottles to try and return to class.

Can't stand people like you, lair....

I'm not offering any comment on whether the OP should or shouldn't phone in sick - but autistic burnout is a very real thing, and it's not related to the number of hours you work.

The autistic brain has to work very hard just to deal with everyday life, the basics, and it gets overstimulated and overwhelmed. When getting this overwhelmed day in, day out, autistic burnout can occur.

Needing time to decompress between activities and time to transition from one thing to another is very common with autistic people.

Regardless of whether you agree with OP or not, her explanations re autism are relevant and true. Please don't be an arse about someone's neurodiversity just because you disagree with what they're planning on doing.

Thanks, from another autistic woman.

OP has autism. Maybe try and have a little bit of empathy?

So what if she "only works five hours a week"? Lots of people with autism can't manage to work at all.

lair ?

I'm not diagnosed autistic but do get the whole needing a transition thing.

OP, how much time would you have from getting home from work to leaving to go on holiday?

The OP isn't pulling a sickie because she has autistic burnout. She just wants to go in holiday earlier!!!

The answer would be the same whether you have autism or not. You shouldn't skive.

Her husband does.

I'd do it OP and I'm a manager of a team of people. Seriously, life is too short.

If you're referring to me, my comment was aimed at the people who said she can't possibly have autistic burnout because she only works one hour a day. There were a couple of quite unpleasant comments which showed real ignorance of autistic burnout. Regardless of OP's reasons for wanting to pull a sickie, she could still be suffering from autistic burnout.

Personally, I wouldn't phone in sick - it's not something I could do, or ever did do. My point was that you can disagree with OP and think she's wrong, without scoffing at the notion of autistic burnout and being rude about the OP's capacity to work.

Honesty is the best policy. You'll end up accidentally mentioning being there when you should have been sick to a coworker or they'll see it on social media. Or it'll just be sus that you went away a day after you were too sick to come into work.

Not a good idea.

Seems like a lot of drama for an hour's work to perfectly honest. I don't suppose it makes a huge diference either way and if burnout is a challenge for you then spending hours debating this with yourself is surely just going to add to it.

Toss a coin.

Just take unpaid leave for a day and the school can manage cover. If they say no, it sounds like you could say you will leave, and as one of their most reliable people they won't want that.