For me to be a SAHM my DH would have to earn.....

[CPHB2021]

Following on from a thread of 'if you knew all would be ok, I would...' and a resounding about said 'leave work and be a SAHP' I would absolutely LOVE to do this and by scraping the barrel, we probably could but we'd have little to no disposable income. I would only leave if I was able to still take my children to do things, meet friends for coffee etc. Go abroad once a year still. Have some money in savings. I often wonder HOW some of the mums at school don't work, we are technically 'above average' income which seem LUDICROUS given that we use almost all of it, every month! We live in the SE and I think our outgoings must be quite high! How much would one person have to earn for you to leave work?

It would depend on your household income, bills and what extras like holidays and extra curricular activities would cost.

DH earns 120ish and that wouldn't allow us to fully have the lifestyle we have now, so would say guaranteed 140k. I realise that sounds huge, but to do everything we want, it would be about that

Yes, I've just re read what I wrote and I guess it's absolutely a 'how long is a piece of string' question. I think DH would have to comfortably earn what our combined income is now plus maybe £10k extra a year to account for savings. I don't know! I wish I could be more content with doing more free things and live a simpler life. But it's always so cold and wet and I love a soft play etc etc 😂 I just couldn't stay home all the time with DC!

Don’t forget money to make up for your lost pension contributions too.

And making up for the loss of one tax allowance, one person earning £70k isn’t like two people earning £35k

I am a SAHM, my husband earns approximately 35,000 a year.

We do not do any of the things you've mentioned though. I go to free or very cheap baby groups dc1 attends two after school clubs which are free and one which is £30 a term.

We don't go on holiday and days out are more a birthday treat than a regular occurance.

I'd love to live the lifestyle you describe but I suppose that's the toss up, you get the money or you get the time. (Although when I worked the cost of childcare meant I had neither money nor time so this was a better option as at least I got to spend more time with the children while stressing about money.)

We’re currently working out whether I can become a SAHM after this maternity leave, so I’ve been doing these sums. My DH earns £65k a year (plus a bonus) and despite that being a huge sum and far higher than the average I think we would be squeezed. We’d definitely manage, but like you I also want to be able to do things with the kids and save for enjoyment and emergencies.

We’re also in the south east and just our rent, council tax and utilities takes up half his monthly take him. We’re hoping we might be able to buy this year but a mortgage will actually be higher than our rent. For what it’s worth our rent is the lowest in the area for a basic 3 bed terrace. It’s ridiculous. We’ll see where we are over this year though.

I would never be financially reliant on a DH. I’ve seen too many cases in divorce/illness where women are left in dire straits because they have no income of their own.

I think £120k to make up for what I'd lose in benefits etc. if we're talking pension too, I'd say £170k.

Terrifying

I am a SAHM and have been for years. I my DH used to earn three or four times the national average and now earns six times.
We afford one long haul, one short haul, a couple of UK breaks each year. We don’t really save but do overpay into a pension.
I never ever think about the price of a coffee or day out.

My husband would have to earn 12k more to cover my wages shortfall and then i could gie up work if i wanted to and still be comfortable. I'm PT at present (kids nearly 16 and 10). When I was a SAHM our mortgage was only £350 a month though (we put down a 40% deposit) and I was frugal. The dearest activity I ever did with the kids was a £1.50 playgroup, but I can remember scrabbling around for it some weeks.

Mortgage now is a good deal more and husband has been promoted a few times.

It’s possible to sign a post nup etc to ensure this doesn’t happen.

I’m a SAHM and DH earns 500k. Salary requirement depends on whether you do private/state school and holidays etc. those are the large ticket items that move the goalpost IMO.

I have been sahm when Dh earned £30k. It was though. Now he earns £120k and we live comfortably. He did work hard and long days to get where he is now.

I didn’t think post nups were legally binding, has this changed?

That’s going to depend on
so many factors. We lead quite a small life so I was a SAHM for ten years with DP earning around £120k gross. I’m working part time now and a LOT happier. I have my own money (which I save) and feel like I can build a nice nest egg for the future that will benefit us all down the line. Plus it makes me feel useful and a functioning member of society. Staying at home made me feel pretty worthless.

I live in the SE and I reckon £90k.

Factoring in 15% pensions contribution, cos it would need to cover us both. 9% student loan contributions. That's about £4250 a month.

£1600 mortgage, £800 bills, £600 food, leaves about £1250 a month. Which would just about cover spending money, savings, and one holiday.

I'm a SAHM household income is about 140k-150k.

When I stopped working (I was part time) household income went down from about 70k to about 50k. Things weren't tight but not as easy as now.

As long as I could have a £500 quid disposable income separate to all bills and food a month - and one sun holiday a year I’d quit work.

I hate the pension contribution shit- I’ve been contributing for yrs- at the moment it works out to £40 a month come retirement- and they’ll prob move retirement age to 80 by the time it’s my turn.

I'm a single parent so smaller household (1 car for example, 25% lower council tax) but I earn mid £60k + approx 10% bonus and can afford for my kids to do activities, some small savings, holidays/weekends away/day trips/theatre tickets/meals out etc although interest rate changes and some fairly hefty house & car expenditure has made 2022 much tighter!

I think housing costs will be the driver of what the number is.

Well I’m fucked if they aren’t 😆 but I think the point is they are taken into consideration during the divorce so your husband can’t turn around and say “fuck you”!

I think he’d need 150k min to keep me. slightly more than our current HI as more would go in deductions. We are in London.

We live in SE in a mortgaged 4 bed semi. I was a SAHP when my husband earned £60k and we were ok. Not much extra for holidays etc but it covered all of our bills and we were comfortable enough.

I'd say £80k to start living fully comfortably and not to worry about rising bills.

And probably £100k to be able to afford a lifestyle where you don't really have to worry ever about finances.

I've now returned to work though and love it much more. Being a SAHP was miserable for me. Boring and much harder than working.

I think we could be comfortable on £500k

We're SE earning approx £100k combined (my PT min wage is small % obviously). I think we'd need at least another £25k but we are paying off debt

SE here, DH earns £160K+ and we wouldn’t do it. But then we like to go on holiday and we like to both save for pensions.
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking money doesn’t matter because little kids just need the park etc.
Teenagers and university-aged kids are expensive!

I wouldn't be a SAHM but probably £35k would see us fairly comfortable.

I was a SAHM for 10 years. When I gave up work we lost 2/3 of our income (I was the highest earner), but we cut our cloth accordingly. We had already left London for a small house in a cheap area in the Home Counties. I loved it and used the time well, spending a lot of lovely time with my small children and volunteering most days a week once they were at school, but eventually I got bored and returned to the workforce.