For me to be a SAHM my DH would have to earn.....

[CPHB2021]

Following on from a thread of 'if you knew all would be ok, I would...' and a resounding about said 'leave work and be a SAHP' I would absolutely LOVE to do this and by scraping the barrel, we probably could but we'd have little to no disposable income. I would only leave if I was able to still take my children to do things, meet friends for coffee etc. Go abroad once a year still. Have some money in savings. I often wonder HOW some of the mums at school don't work, we are technically 'above average' income which seem LUDICROUS given that we use almost all of it, every month! We live in the SE and I think our outgoings must be quite high! How much would one person have to earn for you to leave work?

Interesting question!
I don’t have a DH but to earn enough to subsidise an entire extra adult human…his beer money, getting his monobrow sorted, pension contributions, extra plane tickets…his golf clubs…maxing out his little ISA…

…I need to earn 600k minimum so it’s a no from me, mythical DH needs a job.

Mine is property developing.

But sometimes some parents have no choice especially if child care becomes too expensive and no need to feel guilty if your dh is the only one working or the other way round.

Yes of course.
Quite often it is financially the best option but I meant if finances weren’t the issue.

My BIL chose to be the SAHP as my sister worked in a school and he said it’s only fair as she gets the holidays off.

I would at least try and both go PT first, as no one wants to work 5 days a week even if they love their job.

We are in NW. It'd have to be more than £200K (current combined) with all the benefits...but I'd never do it for all the reasons mentioned upthread. Seen too many rock solid relationships flounder.

M&A

Friend’s of ours… DH earns 70k & DW earns 20k & they're forever complaining about being skint. Depends on the people. This thread highlights that. 100k+? Really?

I completely agree.

You live within your means and the more you earn the more you spend.

There was a thread on here not long ago about having a household income of £65k and no rent/mortgage but they were skint all of the time.

£400k a year minimum I reckon. Couldn't manage on less without some serious cut backs, especially with the cost of living crisis.

I was a sahm with 3 kids when dh on approx 80k, 1k a month on mortgage plus all standard bills, 2 cars. We actually don't have saving or holidays until I start working again....

We bought our first home age 30 after saving for 10 years, we met aged 18. We intended to have children as soon as possible after buying and it was always our intention that I would stop working working for the first 3/4 years (fertility issues pushed it to 7). So we bought the home (tiny end terrace in midlands) based on my husband's income only despite my earning a similar amount to his, we made sure it was affordable in one income (we we're offered 4 times larger mortgage than what we took).
Happy with what we did but it annoyed me when friends of ours with nice cars, holidays abroad and much larger houses told me how lucky I was to be a stay at home mum. We had none of those things and were more than happy to forego it for me to be at home. Absolutely no issue with others doing things differently but it wasn't luck, it was a decade of planning and saving. When we decided it was time for a larger house I returned to working and we increased our mortgage to move. Enjoying having a bigger house and a bit more money but wouldn't change the last 7 years for anything.

I was glad I was never a SAHM as I would have found it much harder to leave EA exh. However if I won the lottery I’d definitely give up work and think about what to do for the rest of my life for a bit, whilst being there for the kids.

I’m a SAHP. We need around 70k a year to live a comfortable lifestyle without any concerns, holidays, private medical etc. We could survive scraping the barrel just paying bills only on around 40-45k now the cost of living crisis has hit.

South east.

We jointly earn approx 150k & would likely pay off the mortgage if I did become a SAHM.

Taking the mortgage and nursery fees away per month equals what I bring in per month after tax.

In reality, you couldn’t pay me enough.

We did this when an investment paid out in a rather spectacular fashion, so I stopped working, the reasons were not just for fun but were complex. I still have an income from investments as does DH. DH earns around 60k. Having zero mortgage aged 35 was pretty amazing.

Engineering.

He was on 100k plus including benefits from 26, took a pay cut to move into a more stable industry & not travel as much & on 100k again a couple of years on from that.

Are you suggesting her husband pay for her pension,or noting she’ll have a reduced pension when not employed?

@Legrandetraitor

whats M&a? Marketing and advertising?

Mergers and acquisitions

Women on Mumsnet seem to all have DP that earn over £80k! We earn just over £57k between us but that’s around £42k after tax. I would never want to be a SAHM because I love my job and love my financial independence. If I earned £60k after tax then I’d ask my DP to be a SAHD.

Also there is a cost to SAH. Fuel is the biggie, you'll want to go for these coffees, then maybe a class, then you'll have car costs, some baby activities, crafts, you'll want to make lovely meals with nice ingredients as you have time, hobbies etc.

If DH could earn £90k we could do it, but I'm very greedy money obsessed driven and just couldn't stay at hone whilst knowing I could be out making more money for us to live a better life!

I'm currently a solicitor earning £48k (in Scotland) and still do a shift in a local chinese on a Friday night. We definitely don't need the money, but I definitely prefer to have it! It pays for a night out a month and our cleaner!

Works for an Investment Bank. Makes 250k excl bonuses and I STILL wouldn't be a SAHM unless I had my own income stream on top of that - like renting out a property as PP mentioned.

I also make a 6 figures (barely) and have always jokingly said that I'd only be a SAHM if I could have a nanny, a gardener, a cleaner and keep the dogwalker on. So...really I just want to be so bonkers loaded I don't have to work and I could just swan around all day shopping.

Public sector

What job do they have?! Or are posters making stuff up?
Investment banker.

Presumably the answer is just that he needs to make your income minus existing childcare costs on top of what he currently earns to maintain the status quo

What job do they have?! Or are posters making stuff up*?
*
university professor