DP told me I need to do more with DC.

[WhatsMyUsername89]

I’m exhausted our DD is 10 months and still waking twice a night for feeds. Which i do as in the week DP works (stil on matleave) & at weekends DP will get up early with DC so I can sleep in.

last night, for the first time ever, our DD woke up at 9:30pm for a feed and then slept until 6am!!!!!!!! Im elated.

it’s currently 00:40 the next night and DD has already woken 4 times.

yesterday I’d taken DD to soft play, was there for 1.5hrs. Then came straight home, DD spent most of the time sat in the ball pit trying to bite the balls.

DP has just told me I need to do more with DD as that’s obviously why she slept SO well last night.

let me tell you this, our DD has enough toys to fill a toy shop & I am playing with her always. We do sensory games. Painting. Today I had to go to the shops. DP says this is why she’s woken tonight already, because she was STUCK in a pram. I was at the shops for maybe 1.5-2 hours. The rest of the time we were at home playing. Personally I think fresh air is good for a child.

DP has said I need to do more with her.

I feel pissed off. I have no idea why DD would have slept so well last night. unless 1.5hr at a soft play trying to eat a plastic ball HAS exhausted her. Naps have been the same as always.

i genuinely don’t know what else I can do with her? Im DESPERATE for full nights sleep. & I’m upset that DP thinks I must do more.

I just stared In shock. I go back to work next month so if his theory is correct at least she’ll sleep all night after nursery.

i exhausted and feel like I’m doing all I can. To be told to do more.

@EnglishGirlApproximately Thank you, it's good to know I'm not alone. I'm right there with you.
I just read your post and thought it was mine! I'm 43 and I don't sleep well either. Not to scare the OP but my DS didn't actually start sleeping through the night on a reasonably regular occasion until he was 8.
It's emotionally and physically draining, even now! I think I'm falling apart at the seams 😴

He might be right that the baby needs more to physically exhaust her however he's not right that it should be down to just OP.

She's utterly exhausted, he probably is too, but he's also a parent which is not something he can switch off from.

He needs to come up with ways to support OP with her energy levels if he expects an even more intensive interaction relationship between OP and their daughter.

Sometimes you might have days where you have to go to the shops or do the housework or do life admin

thats life

and having a baby doesn’t change that

its not always possible to be out and about at baby groups or the swimming pool every single day

I’ve listened to you all & have given up doing everything. DP was shocked bottles weren’t sterilised by the time DD went to bed. I said “oh you can do that when you load the dishwasher after tear” 😊 I said I’m going to try and wear DD out before she goes to bed. He rolled his eyes and said I’ve taken things too personally

The silly idiot, it's just dawned on him that his mansplaining parenting has backfired on him. You carry on love, don't budge an inch otherwise he'll take more than a mile. It's about time that he learned to parent his own child.

Baby and toddler sleep is a roller coaster, it doesn’t just suddenly get “fixed” and that’s it - it’s up and down for a long time!
He’s an idiot!

@WhatsMyUsername89 😂😂😂 That’s so enjoyable! How did they sleep? (Not the husband obv)

He can take her to soft play when it open sat and sun and see what happens

Why is an exhausted woman doing these basic tasks regularly for another grown adult in the first place?

Mine do sleep better if they have activities out of the house. At 10 months my eldest would spend the morning at softplay or a toddler group and after lunch an hour pottering around in the park but he walked at 8 months and had an insane amount fo physical energy, still does at almost 5. So I would have been on your husband's sid imagining all children need to be exercised and socialis we d like puppies.
.my youngest, at 1.5, will happily play with her dolls, cars, Duplo, colouring in, painting and LOVES a dog walk in the pram and a wee half hour potter in the garden or the local playground is bought fresh air and play for her most days.

I wouldn't stay home all day with a baby though, I'd get cabin fever and lose my mind. And if I went to the shops for 2 hours even my chilled daughter would get annoyed at being stuck in the pram unless I timed it overnap time then provided snacks as soon as she woke up.

He needs to button it! Some babies sleep, some don't. You sound like you're doing a fab job

Another thread about men telling woman how to do things.......did he pat you on the head as well ?

My son was exactly the same at this age still woke for around 2 feeds during the night I thought it would never end I wouldn’t sleep train she’s obviously hungry my daughter stoped night feeds at 7 month my son didn’t stop until around 14 months (he still is an unsettled sleeper at 15 months) baby’s are just different the only thing which might help is to keep her up abit later she’s at the awkward stage where she’s not walking etc so it’s abit harder to tire them out during the day don’t sweat it before you know it she’ll be starting school and you’ll wonder where the time has gone if it makes you feel better my ds has woke up every night for the past week at 11pm and thought it was play time until 3am 😳 I think because I have an older child I no there’s an end in sight at some point, maybe try a dream feed aswell and up the milk bottle to keep her fuller for longer.