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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you know a decent police officer?

288 replies

Whatistheanswer2023 · 17/01/2023 13:01

AIBU to ask?

My personal experience someone who I went to Uni with who joined the Met. Thank god he got found out.

He bullied me at Uni, picked on me. Attacked me once. I was horrified when he joined the Met. He got kicked out for throwing someone down some stairs and then kicking them.

He moved abroad and now works in the US. Still in enforcement. Honestly a totally evil person. He made one year of my Uni life a misery.

he was racist and a misogynist. Total God Complex too.

Why are people like this allowed into the force then tolerated?

OP posts:
LordSugarTits · 17/01/2023 13:03

Why are people accepted into law enforcement in America? No idea.

Do I know decent people who are police officers? Yes of course.

hickorydickorysock · 17/01/2023 13:03

I totally agree, although I think a lot of people are just good at hiding how awful they are and can come across as good enough for the job. I've had good and bad experiences with the police but nothing terrible. Usually just that they don't take things seriously enough sometimes

Sistanotcista · 17/01/2023 13:03

I know a decent police officer. She's a woman. Not saying there are no decent men police officers - there must be - I just don't know any.

Inapicklee · 17/01/2023 13:05

I know many.

Alexandernevermind · 17/01/2023 13:05

Apart from one sarcastic little gobshite when I was a teenager, I've had nothing but positive experiences with officers. I've always found them helpful, polite etc.

Sleepwalkingintothewall · 17/01/2023 13:05

Of course there are but it's a job with power so it attracts abusers.

Babyclb · 17/01/2023 13:05

Do you know a decent police officer?

Of course there are. I have a family member and and old friend who are in the police who are both decent men.

Why are people like this allowed into the force then tolerated?

This is a totally different question to your title.
Why are they allowed in? Well any profession which has a position of authority always attracts people who want to abuse that power, see the police, teaching, youth work, religious leaders etc.
Why are they tolerated?
I think a lot of this comes down to the ‘othering’ in the police between civilians and those serving. A toxic band of brothers who maintain an old boys club mentality.

paintitallover · 17/01/2023 13:05

I know two. I've been very critical of the way the police have handled recent events, but the stated figures for criminals are 2%. Even if that's a huge understatement, which I'm sure it is, it's obvious that plenty are ok.

Original poster
Whatistheanswer2023 · 17/01/2023 13:06

Why are so many bad people in the Police Force? What recruitment techniques can be used to not attract these personality types?

OP posts:
ArseInTheDogBowl · 17/01/2023 13:06

My ex husband was a police officer, he abused me- emotionally and coercive control- and his knowledge from the police aided him in doing so.

Most of his colleagues, when I met them, weren't particularly pleasant people. One or two of them were ok but a lot of them were sexist, racist, classist dickheads.

The vast majority of them were utter bores as well. They're an incestuous lot, often having affairs and only really interested in talking 'job' all the time. Police weddings are horrendous.

That's my experience, anyway.

Sleepwalkingintothewall · 17/01/2023 13:07

The special constables and pcsos I have met have all been very odd people. I bet they were those who were on the verge of calling in mi5 because Mrs Huggins at no.45 talked to her neighbour over the fence during lockdown.

RunnerBum · 17/01/2023 13:07

Personally, every police officer I know is a decent person from my personal assessment of them. It doesn’t mean that they’re all decent people (just as your personal experience doesn’t mean there aren’t any decent police officers) but I’d imagine it’s the vast minority who are arseholes.

Original poster
Whatistheanswer2023 · 17/01/2023 13:07

ArseInTheDogBowl · 17/01/2023 13:06

My ex husband was a police officer, he abused me- emotionally and coercive control- and his knowledge from the police aided him in doing so.

Most of his colleagues, when I met them, weren't particularly pleasant people. One or two of them were ok but a lot of them were sexist, racist, classist dickheads.

The vast majority of them were utter bores as well. They're an incestuous lot, often having affairs and only really interested in talking 'job' all the time. Police weddings are horrendous.

That's my experience, anyway.

The guy who was abusive to me was racist too. He was definitely classist (Privately educated and thought he was better than all of us).

OP posts:
EllaPaella · 17/01/2023 13:09

I know several decent police officers. Both male and female.

ManchesterGirl2 · 17/01/2023 13:10

The police officer I know seems fairly okay but low level sexist (slightly off colour jokes). I don't know if that's related to his profession.

riotlady · 17/01/2023 13:10

Yes, a woman I knew at uni joined the Met and she was always a very decent person.

PoIIyPandemonium · 17/01/2023 13:10

This reply has been deleted

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ApolloandDaphne · 17/01/2023 13:10

When I was a social worker I used to work alongside the police and I would say that almost all of the officers were very lovely people. It's like most professions really. Most are lovely and there are some dickheads who give the profession a bad name.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 17/01/2023 13:11

The two who came round to interview me about the flasher haunting our road were very calm, interested and sensible.

they caught him, as well, and they bothered to contact me and tell me.

Leemoe · 17/01/2023 13:11

Whatistheanswer2023 · 17/01/2023 13:06

Why are so many bad people in the Police Force? What recruitment techniques can be used to not attract these personality types?

You can earn a decent ish salary and have a modicum of power and respect with only five GCSEs.

I was raised by a police officer, he was a physically and emotionally abusive adulterer.
My ex BIL is very high up in one particular force, another odious individual.

I don't have a very high opinion of the calibre of the men in the force but I am somewhat biased.

ComtesseDeSpair · 17/01/2023 13:12

Are Bad People disproportionately represented in the police compared to other professions? Or is that when they’re found out to be rapists or abusers they tend to make headline news more often than rapist actuaries or librarians? Genuine question, I’ve no idea.

The friends I have who work in the police force are I believe good people and I believe god officers. I’ve had both good and bad experiences - though probably more good on balance - worh police officers who aren’t my friends.

PizzaPastaWine · 17/01/2023 13:12

Yes, I know decent police officers. I also know decent school teachers/doctors/nurses/scout leaders.

Its clear that there needs to be an overhaul of vetting and change of policing procedures but Carrick's crimes and treatment of others is not indicative of all in the police force, or tolerated for that matter.

MuthaHubbard · 17/01/2023 13:13

98% - yes. The rest, absolutely no and if I needed help they would be the last people I would want to turn up.

But it's the same it's lots of professions - teachers, gym instructors, retail, random office supply companies....

WetBandits · 17/01/2023 13:13

My cousin is. He’s always been kind, decent, calm and level-headed and is an excellent copper.

Giggorata · 17/01/2023 13:13

I worked closely with the police over the years, in youth justice and child protection. The majority of them were decent.