Do you know a decent police officer?

[Whatistheanswer2023]

AIBU to ask?

My personal experience someone who I went to Uni with who joined the Met. Thank god he got found out.

He bullied me at Uni, picked on me. Attacked me once. I was horrified when he joined the Met. He got kicked out for throwing someone down some stairs and then kicking them.

He moved abroad and now works in the US. Still in enforcement. Honestly a totally evil person. He made one year of my Uni life a misery.

he was racist and a misogynist. Total God Complex too.

Why are people like this allowed into the force then tolerated?

Yes, quite a few. All decent, all considerate, all honourable, all disgusted by the recent revelations.
None from the Met, I have to say.

It used to be the West Midlands force that had a bad reputation. I think they managed to clean up their act, so it shouldn't be beyond the Met to do the same.

I know lots, the majority of police are hard working decent human beings but you never hear about that.

I wouldn't trust the Met... my dad was a police officer in a completely different area and he said they were a different kind and the way it's ran,the work culture wasn't good.

However I've met a lot of good police officers over a few forces. Both male and female. I've also met some arseholes but then you get that in every walk of life!

People like Carrick are attracted to the police BECAUSE of the power it gives them. The same way that paedophiles join youth sports clubs or scouts BECAUSE of the access it gives them.

That doesn't mean everyone who is a policeman or a volunteer is a bad person. It means that there needs to be a starting point of a very high level of safeguarding to make it harder for these people to succeed. That requires their decent colleagues and superiors to not allow any form of lax culture. 'Bad apples' and 'not one of us' are totally missing the point.

I know a few decent police officers and a vile one.

It honestly made me furious when the Assistant Commissioner said that there is no place in the Met for people like him.

It is obviously exactly the place for people like him. Empty statements are not what is needed. Neither us pretending he is a one off.

I know one woman who works in the Met, currently doing her Inspector exams, she rolls her eyes when asked about misogyny and sexism, saying it’s all part of the job, and what she has to put up with every single day.

She is a lovely person but something urgently needs to be done about those who are not!

No and neither in military.
We'd be (more) fucked without them but I think they do tend to attract a certain type of characters.

I know three and all are equally arrogant and have bragged about abusing their powers.

I dated one for 5 months, we met in a bar in London, lived 2 hours apart, I would see him every other weekend when he wasn’t working,....after 5 months he made a comment that made me suspicious so I asked if he was seeing anyone else and he told me it was none of my business. So I started to dig around a bit and discovered he lived with his long term girlfriend. He used to laugh about how he’d get stopped for speeding and show his ID and they’d wave him on. I KNOW this is true because it happened on one occasion when I was with him.

No. Not one who wouldn't abuse their position - either directly for their own good or to bend the law for a mate.

I've never had to have much dealing with police officers, but the last one I met (that I didn't know personally) was very nice. He even stepped out, mid review of our CCTV, to arrest a shoplifter that was being tracked outside our office. He also knew the person that broke in to our building, found him, arrested him and he was in prison within a couple of days.

One of my relatives (male) was in the force for more than 20 years and is a good human being. Has a bit of an odd sense of humour, but I think that is a prerequisite of the job! I know one of his colleagues from his time on the force and he's as straight as they come.

I went to school with a number of people that joined the police force and they're all good people too. They are female though!

My son in law is an utterly good man. No banter, no misogyny, no "lads crap". He has just left the police to retrain in an entirely different field as he'd had enough.

He was a very good police officer. The service is lesser for losing him.

Yes I know a few who are genuinely good people, male & female

I think it is terrifying what we have been hearing in the news but in answer to your question yes I do know a male police officer who is a really nice family man.

I know one woman who works in the Met, currently doing her Inspector exams, she rolls her eyes when asked about misogyny and sexism, saying it’s all part of the job, and what she has to put up with every single day.
She is a lovely person but something urgently needs to be done about those who are not!

see. not dobbing them in or (as a sergeant) trying to encourage a better culture? she's part of the problem

and boo hoo, they have to put up with abuse from the public? how a) is that a surprise when they join and b) is that an excuse to put up with sexist, racist, rapey fellow officers?

Ive read several times that the force tends to attract a certain type of person..

I do know one decent person, who is a police officer

I have one friend in my friendship circle that is a police officer. We don't see him often, because he lives a way away, but we are going to his wedding in the spring.

Last year, he came over for an evening of whisky tasting with my husband and some other male friends. My husband held the event away from the main house in an outbuilding that we have a second living room and a guest room in, if you follow. (Airbnb potential never realised because I'm too lazy)

A few hours before the official end of the evening, the police officer friend appeared at the main house and said one of his parents was picking him up. He was staying at theirs. He was drunk but not falling-down-won't-remember-this-tomorrow drunk.

We live in one of those villages that is just a single road lined with a few houses. All of the houses are spread out and set back from the road, and street lighting is sparse, so we are easy to miss in the dark. I clocked the familiar crawl of "trying to find the house name" headlights, around the curtains and suggested we pop out and flag them down. As they reversed along the road, he kissed me goodbye. On the lips, forcefully, replete with roaming hands and totally without warning. We have never had chemistry, he has never shown an interest in me before and we had never been alone together before.

I shoved him away and he then made it about me. My fault. Suddenly also started behaving much, much more intoxicated.

At bedtime, I told my husband who was furious. Upon confronting him, police officer friend said his wife-to-be knows all about these things. Apparently he does it all the time.

Ridiculous. Not a good man.

I've met a lot of officers, mostly through work.

I'd say most are good people. The job does tend to attract people who enjoy a bit of power though. There is also a huge number of officers so some are always going to get through.

I know a few that I think are bully's/ idiots. Far more that are over worked with good intentions.

I was advised not to consider a romantic relationship with an officer though by colleagues. It is a well trodden path in my career and rarely works out long term.

Saying all that, if a lone male officer turned up asking about a burglary or similar I wouldn't be inviting him in if I was at home on my own.

Nope - they were either incompetent and couldn’t give a shit about the crime being reported, or were misogynistic and full of themselves. I disliked them and didn’t trust them.

Of course there are. I know many of them. I understand you have had a horrible experience with someone who went on to become a police officer and I’m sorry for that. Unfortunately this mindset along with the medias portrayal of the police just fuels hate for the police force who for the massive majority of whom, do a great and dangerous job to protect everyone else. It’s the very small minority you see reported on the news.

No everyone I have ever met has been a wanker in one way or another!

What a stupid post - one of my children is a PC and all their colleagues are pretty decent men and women who joined for the right reasons. It can be a thankless job at times, dealing with really scummy people, and they have seen some pretty awful things in the time they have served.

It doesn’t really matter about how many are decent individuals.

When it comes down to it, they are part of an institution which is racist, misogynistic, homophobic and classist to its core, with no one at the top wanting that to change.

Decent individuals who try to work against the culture of cover-up and abuse of power are given two choices : shut up or leave.
And they will make your life hell to ensure you do leave and are punished for going against them.

I think many decent people join, a bit starry eyed about making a difference, but the culture either corrupts them or makes them cynical to save themselves.

I am sure there are excellent officers, and bullies, as there are in any organisation. The key issue about the Met though, in my opinion, is that the right leadership is not in place, and despite the evidence as an organisation they have not addressed the problems. That is why misogynistic/corrupt/unethical behaviours and individuals can thrive.

MOST criminals are not actually ‘’scummy’’ people, everybody has a story and and attitudes like yours is what’s wrong with society IMO.

Many criminals have complex mental health issues and traumatic childhoods and the system does absolutely zero to help them in any way, besides branding them scum and treating them like second class citizens which perpetuates their criminality.

I was a special constable for a few years. A lot of the regulars were pretty nasty people, particularly a couple of WPCs who had chips on their shoulders. Many were just outright lazy. Some were worryingly friendly with known criminals such as drug dealers and burglars. I didn't join the specials in the hope of joining the police. Most of the other specials were "normal" people, some joined in the hope of getting a regular PC job, but most just wanted to make a difference and do some voluntary work. I had no problems working with the other specials. But in the end, I couldn't tolerate working with some of the regulars, and gave it up. That's not to say all regulars were problematic. I made some good friends and tried to match my shifts to theirs, such as a dog man, a traffic officer, and a couple of rookie PCs, all of whom were clearly in the job for the right reasons. There were a couple of regulars that I had to refuse to work with - one was just bone idle who'd spend his shift flitting from one friend/family house to another for brews, ignoring calls on the radio, and doing a part time business on the side during working hours. The other was an absolute leech - very "touchy feely", and would hang out around night clubs trying to chat up women whilst on duty - long after I left, he was dismissed due to having sex whilst on duty several times with other officers who reported him, falsely claiming to be busy when ignoring radio calls, and it turned out he had a side business selling his wife's used underwear - it was all over local media when he was finally thrown out!