Do you know a decent police officer?

[Whatistheanswer2023]

AIBU to ask?

My personal experience someone who I went to Uni with who joined the Met. Thank god he got found out.

He bullied me at Uni, picked on me. Attacked me once. I was horrified when he joined the Met. He got kicked out for throwing someone down some stairs and then kicking them.

He moved abroad and now works in the US. Still in enforcement. Honestly a totally evil person. He made one year of my Uni life a misery.

he was racist and a misogynist. Total God Complex too.

Why are people like this allowed into the force then tolerated?

The guy who killed Sarah Everard and this latest monster were given names by colleagues. “Psycho” was Couzens and Carrick’s was “Bastard”. Fellow officers knew they were deeply unpleasant. They used their position of power to terrorize women. They used a position of trust to abuse women. Yes, other people are monsters too, but we need to respect and trust the police and how they select and retain staff.

The Met is now looking again at 1000 complaints against officers which involve sexual or domestic abuse. Posters might know of great officers but the Met has massive issues with leniency in the face of very poor or illegal behaviour by serving officers . None of the 1000 have been removed from the force. It is inconceivable they all should have remained as serving police officers. This is just one police force.

Police forces investigate their own staff or bring in officers from other forces to do
it. I think this must change. There must be independent disciplinary panels. The Police have demonstrated they are incompetent. I listened to a former Inspector of Constabularies yesterday who was saying just this. They are not accountable for their decisions. There is no way Carrick should have been a police officer with a gun. The police force kept him in this role. No one else. All decent Police Officers need to recognise that these people must go. No cover ups. No banter. No nicknames which give rise to concern. It has to stop.

There needs to be a higher level of scrutiny during the recruitment process. There has to methods of personality profiling, basic police record checks etc. I think it’s easier to be a ‘bastard’ and a ‘psycho’ in the police force than any other public service (medicine or otherwise) as there appears to be a culture of acceptance. From institutional racism and misogyny to other embedded acceptable behaviours - if they are not weeded out the police force will continue to attract the sort of deviants who can thrive in their culture.

@Whatistheanswer2023 I completely agree. However the police do enhanced checks to get into armed units. They don’t vet properly within the force. It’s not just recruitment. Tolerating accusations of abuse and not investigating properly when allegations are made is post recruitment. These officers possibly didn’t have Rex flags when they were recruited (but they might have done). We need to be certain that officers are vetted at the designated intervals. This was not done with Carrick. The senior police overseeing this are culpable. They should be dismissed. Who is overseeing this process? Surely Police Commissioners and Chief Officers are responsible for ensuring vetting is carried out and they are given data about any deficits? Such poor HR management - it’s unbelievable that senior officers didn’t have this info when they knew there were issues.

I know one. She is a woman. I had a friend at school whose father was high up in the met (this was decades ago now) and he was evil. The atmosphere of terror in their house was palpable, even to me as a small child. The mother shook all the time. He was eventually sacked for something and was in the news.

I have another friend whose police officer ex husband has used his position to terrorise her, alienate her from her DD and whose girlfriend (also a police officer) has been complicit in the financial abuse of her. Ditto the same story with another friend. Both of them evil, sadistic bastards.

My own experiences are not good. I sought help for the abuse and harassment I was getting from my ex and OW. I ended up being arrested due to false complaints by them. I was told that my personal details being put on sites for people seeking the worst types of BDSM was not a big deal. I was regularly harassed by one officer who carried it on even when I was having chemotherapy for breast cancer. They failed to attend when my son was taken by his father and not returned despite what I thought was a water tight court order. OW had a "friend" who was involved in all of this. She managed to get away with assault for the same reason. Of course my formal complaint was brushed under the carpet with them "having a word" and "lessons learned". Quite honestly they sicken me and I would not seek police assistance again unless it was absolutely unavoidable.

I think this is true. There will be plenty of good ones out there who joined to be a force for good. Unfortunately when you have had the experiences I have had, it's very difficult to be anything other than suspicious or cynical. My experiences gave me PTSD. I'm 53 years old and panic when I see a police car.

I know a principled, hard working police officer. She's a woman if that's relevant.

I've never had a positive encounter with a police officer in my life, either as a victim of crime (including 2 major assaults) or in general encounters with them.

The officers 5 I know personally (3 men, 2 women), through work/hobbies/friends, range from absolutely psychotic thugs (have literally seen him glass somebody in a pub for "being cheeky") to racists pieces of shit ( she said "all coppers are bastards?? All c*s are bastards more like" in response to the protests over George Floyd's murder).

Despite my negative experiences I'm sure there are decent officers among them however, personally I view the police as another gang to be avoided at all costs and wouldn't turn to them for anything now.

Yes I know a decent officer, a friend's brother, he works on a couple of estates & especially gets a lot of domestic violence calls, he is said to be popular with the locals & enjoys his job.
And after an incident I was involved in an individual armed police officer went above and beyond his role to support me.
My other interactions with police have been either good or neutral.

It may have been different if I lived elsewhere as our local force have a fairly good reputation.

Yes DH. He’s a special so doesn’t get paid. Does it because he’s v community minded and sees he can make a difference. Everyone I’ve met in the force have been great (some are a bit grumpy and looking forward to retirement?

I think this is the point. Some teachers really shouldn’t be near kids, we have quite a few instances of healthcare professionals doctors, nurses killing their patients not to mention those who have performed unnecessary surgery and caused death and long term injuries through negligence, falsified notes. Accountants embezzling money. 1in 10 military personnel involved in DV.

yes the Met (and the issues are largely with the met) need to address its culture. But people need to accept that the vast majority of police are decent people who will help and need the publics support.

Yes i know several really nice coppers - men and women

I know two police officers personally and they are lovely people.

One of my best friend's daughters has just been accepted into the police and she's also lovely and I'm sure will make a great addition to the force.

One of my oldest friends. One of the most decent, smart, compassionate people I know.

Unless I was married to one or the child of one how would I know? Clearly the dangerous, abusive, violent ones are able to mask their behaviours well enough to hold down a job where the antithesis should be required; and do so surrounded by colleagues whose skill set supposedly includes the ability to read people and identify criminal behaviour. So I'm pretty sure they'd be able to fool me in a typical social interaction.

I don't know about fooling you. I bumped into a college friend in a pub. I'd moved away and we lost touch, he was a big part of my friendship group as a teen and a lovely, kind bloke. Anyway, he flashed his warrant card at me (I didn't know he'd joined the police) and said "in case you're thinking of starting anything". He was totally cold, it was not a joke and he was making his power clear. It was the most bizarre experience. I made my excuses and we've never spoken since. I dread to think how he turned out in the force.

That sounds really sinister. I wonder if the job had changed him or he was always like that and the job gave him confidence to show himself for who he was.

@OMG12
i have not heard a single serious commentator, or expert on policing, who thinks this is just an issue affecting the Met. You cannot possibly know other forces are vetting appropriately and as often as they should. You don’t know if they have lots of cases of abuse that have been glossed over or ignored. Police Officers in London are not a unique breed.

I don’t think it’s necessarily helpful to compare these police cases with other cases, except to say when someone has a position of trust, they should never abuse it. However where checks snd balances are in place, they shouldn’t be ignored or circumvented.

@5128gap I don't suppose I will ever know. His father was in the force but he rarely mentioned it and certainly didn't ever express a desire to follow in his footsteps. It was most bizarre. He was not the person I knew, that's for sure!

And where did I say they should be ignored??? No where, I’m just pointing out that the police are not alone in having people who shouldn’t be there in positions where they could do serious harm.

And yes there seems to be more issues with the met from comments on here, tge people who seem to be experiencing issues seem to be dealing primarily with the met. I have never in my life come across any police officer who wasn’t helpful and professional. I have never met anyone in real life who has had issues with the police including people of colour. I don’t know anyone who mistrusts the police. That’s obviously not to say there aren’t issues and improvements necessary in checking these people and handling complaints. The current case is obviously appalling and highlighted there are issues to resolve which seem to be being addressed.

I’m afraid anecdotes on MN won’t give the same picture that, for example, a former Inspector of Policing can give. So although anecdotes are interesting they are not well informed about the overall picture.

For what it’s worth, I’m a late middle aged white woman. (Well I’m a pensioner!) I am law abiding as most people are. However I’ve had incidents fairly recently at home (arson of a building) and when out, when I’ve needed the police. I’ve been met with complete indifference on both occasions. I felt I was wasting their time when I reported road rage and a raging mad male driver punched my car after he had blocked me in on a road . So I’m very wary of them. How the road rage incident was ignored is beyond me. I guess because he didn’t kill me. But he was utterly dangerous. Hopefully no other women were subjected to his behaviour.

Like many professions there are probably risks to their jobs for whistleblowers. I think this is usually due to weak bosses. Not easy to fix.
And you can't sack someone because someone else has accused them of something before they are proved guilty. That's our labour laws. Its hard to sack anyone. No good demanding that the police MUST do this or that if what you are asking is not permissable.

Yup, this.
The one who abused and terrorised me - and more of his ex partners, also too scared to do anything - is the nicest, kindest, most empathetic, compassionate, decent person you could meet.

A champion of the people, recognised for his selfless bravery in the line of duty.

His family and friends would tell you he’s the best man they know.

In an intimate relationship though, a more sadistic, manipulative, power-wielding, bastard of a man you will never meet.
And no one believes it except those of us who’ve experienced it.

We’ve all been told his police mates will not take us seriously.
We’ve all been told he’ll make sure they know we are the crazy, mentally unstable, jealous exes who can’t move on and we’ll be flagged on the system as persistent trouble makers who need a serious word if we ever make a complaint.

Some of the exes are vulnerable due to previous abuse and don’t want to subject themselves to police interrogation again. Others have jobs that would be badly affected if there was police involvement.
He picked us deliberately.

The whole institution is designed to hide and empower men like this.

@Over40Overdating what you say is so true.

@Foxywood
The various people I’ve listened to have said the police didn’t follow their own guidelines on discipline. It wasn’t just hearsay or whistleblowing. It was illegal behaviour that was investigated and the officers kept their jobs when it was a sacking offence. Yes it’s weak leadership. It’s also not following your own guidelines and a culture that allows these officers to stay in the force. They appear unsackable. It will be extremely hard to change the culture because it’s ingrained and so many were involved in what has happened and maybe plenty more to come!

And I’ve no doubt being a whistleblower in the police is a frightening place to be. Even the most decent of officers will struggle to put themselves in that position. That’s another issue which must be addressed. A pyramid of silence is a poor situation for us all.