Do you know a decent police officer?

[Whatistheanswer2023]

AIBU to ask?

My personal experience someone who I went to Uni with who joined the Met. Thank god he got found out.

He bullied me at Uni, picked on me. Attacked me once. I was horrified when he joined the Met. He got kicked out for throwing someone down some stairs and then kicking them.

He moved abroad and now works in the US. Still in enforcement. Honestly a totally evil person. He made one year of my Uni life a misery.

he was racist and a misogynist. Total God Complex too.

Why are people like this allowed into the force then tolerated?

Your son/daughter can't possible know "ALL" their colleagues are decent people. They only know what they can see, or what the others want them to see.

Then why aren't they outing the bad ones? Why aren't they critically looking at their senior officers when being directed to overlook DV etc and in some cases direct their officers to threaten women who are making complaints about stalking etc?
In the ones being found out, everyone knew about them. On body cams racist language isn't being challenged.
I've reported a crime as a single woman in my 30's, so have female friends, we've all been hit on by the police, married or not. My DD saw a man being knocked over. The Police attitude was 'he's only a smackhead anyway ', the driver didn't bother stopping. They only half did their job because my DD worked at the hospital he'd just left and she was making a fuss. It does make me wonder if a young women they ran over and killed on a notorious sex worker road, was thought of as disposable. She was going home from work.
Look at the dismissal of the serious assault by a white adult towards a black child, it took a FB campaign for the police to take it up. There's too much going on for the majority to be decent. We need to be able to remove pensions under some circumstances.

And as a few PPs above have said, the Met, in particular is particularly bad.
There has been for too long, a sense of being untouchable within that force. And sadly, much of the recent empowerment came from Cressida Dick, who was determined to hang on for a long as possible and encouraged a culture of coverup that will take years to fix.

I'm sure there are many decent police officers. Although I know of 3...
1- He attended my friend's house as she had been attacked by her partner, I was waiting with her. I left her house an hour later (1am) and he was parked down the road from her house waiting for me. He gave me a lift home and then encouraged me to come to the station when he was next working. He was 34 and I was 18. It was a small village station, only him there. We dated 2 years and I found out he had a wife and 3 kids.

1. Friends ex husband who tried to strangle her (had been physical more than once). Ended up sacked
2. Dated a police officer who ghosted me (not really as bad as the other 2)

I only know two police officers. One is an ex boyfriend who to be fair is a nice bloke but was quite set in his ways. The other one is pleasant enough but thick as shit to be honest.

Hmm I'll disagree on that point as the majority of people they deals with tend to be pretty nasty - probably a lot of MH problems but more caused by excessive drug and alcohol, which contribute to them having the MH issues... I think if you came home from work covered in spit, blood and scratches regularly you might change your mind. Or the murder snd suicides they have to attend - things you can't unsee. Before they were in the force I had no idea how awful the things they had to deal with and the abuse they get while trying to do their job.

People usually have a reason for their drug and alcohol addiction in the first place though, and then it’s just a vicious circle. Then the law, and especially the police in particular, treat these people like they’re sub - human, like shit that they’ve trod in. Is it any wonder they’re messed up. Don’t be so naive.

I've known 4 police officers.
Ones an arrogant prick, the other makes me immensely uneasy, he is rude and any woman who I know in common with him tries to keep out of his way.
The other male officer I knew, I went out with on a date, left his car covered in bruises. He locked the cars doors and pounced on me.

4th was a woman, who seemed to be a good but very mentally unwell lady, didn't last long in the force.

So I'll admit to thinking that many police officers are either not good and the unwell ones are probably made that way by the job

Yes, I do.

Kind, decent, law-abiding. Put in 30 years with the Met, won a medal, multiple commendations, retired from an unblemished career.

NACAB

I know 3. All women, all very lovely and decent people.

My nephew was treated absolutely appallingly by the police. He has severe MH issues and was mocked and bullied relentlessly and called a nutter, told they were going to beat him up, banging on the cell door taking the piss etc.

A lot of the police aren’t the heroes they would like to have you believe. They should be ashamed.

I'm afraid I haven't trusted male police officers since I was a teenager and a PC and Sergeant were also members of the same sports club as me. Some if the things they used to say horrified me. The PC once arranged for me to go and collect something from his house which was up the road from my college. My mistrust of him was so great that I took a college friend with me. They were also both friends with one of the GPs in the practice I was registered with (he was also a club member). I always made sure I avoided seeing him. He was every bit as misogynistic as the 2 policemen. Back in the 1970's/80's women just put up with this kind of stuff.

I know two men who are policemen. They are kind, decent, honest men, exactly the sort of person you would want to help you in a crisis. If only all of them were like this!

I had dealings with a few female police officers from different areas and I'm sorry to say they were misogynistic and racist.

Three women. Two are lovely. One I’m not sure about.

One male special police person. He was slimey.

I imagine there are good and bad in all professions.

All the ones I know (6) are good, hard-working, kind, honest people. Two are in the Met, the other four are in other forces. They are as horrified by what is happening, particularly within the Met, as people who don't work for the police. The ones I know who don't work for the Met say the Met is notorious for taking the worst of the worst.

I was attacked one night when walking home whilst pregnant. The hospital called the police. I didnt want to make a report or take it anywhere as I wasnt going through what rape victims go through in investigations and court. The male police officer told me he was going to see about having my state of mind assessed and involve social services as he didnt think I would be fit to raise a child if I wouldnt cooperate with an investigation. This was after they had asked for keys to my house and my phone so they could investigate. It was an attack by a stranger in the street. Why did they need to go through my house and phone? I'd just been violated. I didnt want strangers in my home when I wasnt even there.

But yeah... he decided to threaten me with social services and a psych evaluation and the removal of my unborn child.

The final police office immediately stopped him and kicked him out the room and said she would support me if I made a complaint about him though. So, she was decent.

I know a few. One is a very good policeman, very conscientious, tries very hard to do a good job, takes it seriously etc. Is horrendously abusive to his wife behind closed doors. Another is a very good husband and dad and a decent enough copper. My dad was a policeman. He was a very kind and gentle soul at home and at work. Any woman would be perfectly safe if they had cause to come in to contact with them, which should of course go without bloody saying.

Yes I have, as well as one utterly corrupt dangerous one. It's a job that attracts many different types of people, including those who abuse it's power.

Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Robert Mark described his ambition as to "arrest more criminals than we employ".

Here tbh there's much more concern about the word on the streets that the gang’s units and drugs units are going to be disbanded, burglary combined with other stuff, and news of what's replacing them having no financial input.

General view from the 'Soljers' and those who have to live beside them, is it's going to be a free for all, as all hard won local knowledge is dispersed and many good decent specialist officers who really where making a difference give up as they see the destruction and reversal of all their work, their personal safety now compromised, and inevitably look for new jobs.

We run a risk of coming into contact with a rogue copper, but here we're guaranteed to be trying to avoid contact with local criminals several times a week.

Ordinary people without resources here, think we're going to be in for a notably rough time, and the rumored backdoor cuts and their results totally hidden under spin to appease public opinion about rogue officers.

I know many decent police officers

Yes, a good friend's DH is a long serving police officer. He's usually stressed by his job, but he's creative, kind and solid.

I have experienced police culture up close though, a few years ago, for a period of years. It was sexist, degrading, racist and fucking horrible. I couldn't imagine being in that environment and thriving in any way.

I have almost nothing positive to say about the culture - it was awful.

My understanding is that there's a world of difference between the Met and a 'normal' police force. My Brother in law is a thoroughly decent person, he's also a senior level detective for a police force in the South East. The day to day puts him under immense levels of stress and he is utterly dedicated to doing a good job.

My sister in law went missing in Wales last year during a psychotic episode, and the impression we got from dealing with South Wales police was that they try to do a decent job but their hands are often tied when it comes to taking action, due to a shortage of staff and daily bureaucracy. This seems to have lead to feelings of apathy amongst a lot of officers. Every one of them we met seemed to be willing to help, but they often couldn't do anything due to staff unavailability. SIL is still missing, sadly, but in London. So it's up to the Met to find her.

Any I've dealt with who I don't know personally have been great!
I know one woman who if I'm honest, has some dubious views herself but wouldn't recognise them to be sexist - who has said how sexist 90% of her colleagues are.

The 3 men I've known:

One was openly an arsehole.
One was a 'gentle, kind soul' whose family and friends describe as decent and hardworking, who was lovely to everyone he knew but a horrible, psychologically abusive arsehole to women he was involved with.
One was another one who I'm sure everyone in his life would describe as 'a bit cheeky, but overall decent' who again was an arsehole to women and just expected to be waited on hand and foot.

Thread is slightly reminiscent of those neighbour interviews "such a quiet man, wouldn't hurt a fly"

If being related to a wrong un was such a good position to judge someone from do you not think that loads more wrong uns would be identified before moving onto offending? Horrible people often seen perfectly normal to those around them, it's part and parcel of being able to continue being a wrong un. Or were Wayne Couzens wife and kids in on it too?