Do you know a decent police officer?

[Whatistheanswer2023]

AIBU to ask?

My personal experience someone who I went to Uni with who joined the Met. Thank god he got found out.

He bullied me at Uni, picked on me. Attacked me once. I was horrified when he joined the Met. He got kicked out for throwing someone down some stairs and then kicking them.

He moved abroad and now works in the US. Still in enforcement. Honestly a totally evil person. He made one year of my Uni life a misery.

he was racist and a misogynist. Total God Complex too.

Why are people like this allowed into the force then tolerated?

I don’t know any police officers. My circle seems to be teachers, lawyers, medical staff, finance staff, engineers, civil servants and some are self employed hair dressers/PTs/influencers.

However in my job as DWP staff, I helped a lady access childcare costs for her 1 year old - she is to commence a police officer career this month contingent on childcare and showed me her contract. She seemed lovely and passionate. An Asian lady too so hopefully she can break down some of the stigma people have.

likewise DWP staff get a bad rap but they’re not all bad and some genuinely do want to help. It isn’t a race to the bottom with the most evil person getting the job lol

A woman I know will tell you she’s the only decent police officer and she’s going to change the world. I haven’t engaged in these statements.

Then she inserted herself into a conversation I was having with a friend re a death in custody local to us, she threatened to kick my head in for ‘talking about police like that’, she’d overheard me saying I hope the man’s family aren’t waiting too long to find out what happened.

Decent indeed. I don’t know any others and can’t say I’d want to.

I theorise that a lot of people who go on to have positions of power have themselves experienced trauma/bullying at the hands of other people and want to take their anger and bitterness out on the rest of society as sort of a payback.

I had a friend once who proudly proclaimed he wanted to join the police to see people suffer. He had a history of being bullied and had low self esteem underneath.

That’s like saying “do you know a decent woman?”

The majority of them are “decent”. The reason you hear about this kind of thing in the news is because they’re rare.

Only adult experiences were when I broke down on the M4 with my then two year old daughter, smoke pouring out of engine.
They (2 men) escorted us to the nearest services, persuaded the receptionist at the hotel there to let me call my husband and take card on the phone for 1 night stay (no mobile then and they didn’t take cards on phones as the norm).
They waited until we’d organised AA for next morning and even called in with sandwiches and toothbrushes for us when they finished their shift. Truly, they were wonderful. Fast forward, same daughter 16, challenging behaviour. Again, they (man and woman this time) were fantastic. She hadn’t come home for 2 nights. She wasn’t missing as we knew where she was (not a good place for a 16 year old). At that age they had no obligation to intervene but they did. Persuaded her to come home, talked with us all for a good half hour and gave us both their cards, again, fantastic.

As a child, mum and I were subject to DV as the norm. Police called regularly. They were terrible, didn’t want to know at best, misogynistic pigs at worst. Suspect many were up to the same with their own families.

Of course there are people in the police force who should not be. I do believe though that most these days are good people doing their best.

Yes, I know two decent police officers. My cousin, and the father of a child that was in school with the DDs.
The indecent officers we hear about really are the minority - although there are still too many of them.

My sister. Interestingly she now is police in another country and says that by comparison the Met are a beacon of diversity. 😳

I have also worked closely with police officers of different ranks, I had quite a lot of misconceptions, I found them more intelligent, empathic and open to new ideas than I had thought (which says something about me).

That said, the problems of recruitment and not screening properly are huge. The MET admitted around the time of Wayne Cousins that they had 10000 unscreened officers as they hadn't had time to review their files/check for convictions. Imagine! Police officers with convictions!

So two things need to change, more resources have to be placed in screening and then acting on criminal police officers, so people with DV, violent, anything basically other than a minor caution for cannabis age 16 are weeded out before they get near a uniform. This is critical. We can't have unchecked and unscreened officers.

Second, the closed culture of 'the boys' and closing ranks if one does something bad must change. I have a colleague who works in this area and it is an uphill battle with all the boys club/Masons covering for each other.

Individually, I know a lot of great officers, that's not enough though.

our neighbours are police. They are both lovely.

We have had a few interactions with police over the years (burglary etc) and all the officers I have met have always been calm, kind and professional.

But I am white middle class. Some of my friends have had very different experiences, which look to be dependant on colour and accent. I can remember being really shocked when one of my friends told me how often he (young black male) was stopped by the police and their attitude. I liived in the same area, drove on old battered car and had never ever been stopped

You can earn a decent ish salary and have a modicum of power and respect with only five GCSEs.

Err, nope.

You can join the police degree apprenticeship but you need a certain number of UCAS points from a level 3 qualification or A levels to do that, or you join police training if you already have a degree.

I don't know any decent ones, but I don't know any, anyway.
Not people I want to associate with tbh.

What profession never has any bad apples? I can’t think of any. Someone please enlighten me!

Some people’s reactions to this admittedly shocking case are ludicrously OTT. And yes, I do know a thoroughly straight Met officer - the lovely son of a close friend.

My son is a police officer on the degree apprenticeship route, as is his girlfriend. They are both good people.

You can earn a decent ish salary and have a modicum of power and respect with only five GCSEs

not any more.

I’m another who works in safeguarding and the vast majority are decent. SLT have established a good culture though, I also work with the NHS and the police is a much better working environment.

the issue with police vs other occupations is that the police should hold themselves to a higher standard. The station I deal with are very much of the thought that yes there’s bad apples in every profession, but the police should be setting the example and not tolerating it.

I know 'decent' people who work in the police. However, I would say some of their views/opinions are, in my view, questionable. I have found there seems to be a group mentality of misogynistic and racial opinions, that feeds of each other in the police.

Yes I know a decent policeman I think.

He can't listen to criticism of the police though, which does make me wonder.

It's like men that get upset when people point out that men do most violent crime, it's a weird thing to get defensive over

Iv come across some amazing officers who have helped me numerous times in a crisis and have even saved my life a couple of times. There is always going to be bad eggs in any line of work but the vast majority are brilliant. I find if you treat them with respect that is what you get back

I know of a very mixed bag.
I wouldn't have any desire to be in a relationship with one that's for sure, many of the males think they' re Gods gift to women, and too many silly women chasing after them just because of what they do for a living.
When I first started a job at the CPS many years ago l was advised to stay away from them from the wiser women there and it was good advice, saw far too many of my colleagues get badly hurt by getting involved with them.

I don't know any either.
One in particular was terrifying - used to leer at me when I was a teenager and made me feel extremely uncomfortable whenever I was in his company. It was horrible as part of his role was working with young and vulnerable women as part of some committee he was on, and everyone said what a great guy he was, but I knew he was a total creep. Grim.

I think it's a bit like that stat about the army, where there's a fine line between being in the army and being in prison - it can sometimes attract young men who want status or power or take risks etc, similar to how gangs recruit young men. I think the police is the same for men and attracts power hungry men who can use that power to their advantage in some cases.

If the definition of a decent police officer is that they report their scumbag colleagues, then obviously there are few and far between.

My ex H was a decent policeman [now retired] . He's an ex because we were more like friends than husband and wife , not because of abuse or nastiness to me or others , we still are friends .

I do DBS checks. Trust me there are just as many vile people who are doctors, teachers, social workers, childminders, nursery workers and vicars.

There is a nationally recognised framework in place regarding DBS and vetting checks. Drawn up by the government. It is this framework that stops a lot of information being shared etc and results in people slipping through the net. If someone is not convicted, it is very hard to disclose that information.

I wonder if there’s a difference in which area of the police they are in. I know four coppers, none relatives. One’s a WPC and seems decent, works in prostitition and modern slavery type stuff. One is a Chief Inspector and is decent but an utterly dull, boring man who came home twice to find a colleague (different each time) in bed with his wife. The other two are male TAU officers who are two of the most unpleasant men I’ve ever met.

Two of my uncles are police men. One of them is absolutely lovely, has done loads in his local area and has won all sorts of awards. The other one I don’t know much about at work, but he’s misogynistic, sexist and a real bully outside of work so I can only imagine what he’s like at work.

I had a police officer dealing with me when I had a car crash and he was lovely. Really helpful and supportive the whole way through. But sadly I think they are probably few and far between

I know 3. 2 are dubious 1 is lovely.