Wedding guest attire

[honda1114]

NC as I know my MIL is on here!

BIL is getting married in the summer. A little while away, I know, but I have a household full of teenage girls who are obsessing excitedly about what to wear.

Showed one of the dresses my 21yo DD said she liked for the wedding, and MIL said it was far too dressy, and next to the rest of us (who don't even know what we're wearing yet) she will stand out like a sore thumb.

I didn't really know what to say to that as I thought a wedding was about as dressy as you get!

I have been to a few weddings but my DDs haven't been to any since they were small so they don't have a comparison and I can't say I can remember what girls of that age wore at previous ones Ive been to!

I'll attach pictures of dresses similar to what she liked. She doesn't want anything particularly clingy as she is a bit weight conscious (probably due to comments from MIL)

If you saw a young girl wearing a dress similar to these at a wedding would you think she was too dressed up? And if so, what would you expect someone of that age to be dressed in?

Aaannnnd this is why you don’t come to MN for fAsHI0n AdViCeZzzz

At 06:31 I posted a picture similar picture to a dress my daughter wore, it might tip you over the edge.

Vulgar is a good word.

The "what difference does it make" crowd is either unaware or deliberately ignoring the fact that throughout humankind's history, clothing IS symbolic and what we choose to wear DOES send a message. And reflects on the wearer.

That holds in 2023 just as it did in 1823, 1523 and 23 BC.

Skimpy, strappy, thigh-baring dresses that expose lots of flesh are not appropriate for a daytime wedding, period. The wearer would look gauche, out of touch and attention-seeking at best. There is nothing wrong with toning down one's style to suit the occasion. And plenty of cute dresses out there that cover the shoulders and breasts.

What exactly would be a young woman's aim / intention in wearing a flesh-baring dress to a serious occasion like a wedding ceremony?

Yes there IS a middle ground, Hobbs for a 21 year old isn’t it!! 😳
As you’d see if you bothered to ready my original reply, I don’t think the dresses in the OP are appropriate. But some of the suggestions are quite frankly embarrassing.

Op I’m so surprised, I honestly thought these were fine. How can they be too dressy for a wedding?! Anyway I’m obviously wrong but you’re not alone- who knew!!

Hello Op
rather off the point (and apologies if this has been covered up thread, as I haven’t read it all) but I think the burgundy dress might be exactly what my daughter is looking for. She has joined the reeling society at uni and needs a dress that covers bra straps and has a big enough skirt for freedom of movement but still wants to look a bit sexy. Do you know where it’s from?

Just make sure she covers up with a parka cardi or similar lest her bare shoulders and tits offend delicate sensibilities. 🤣

https://www.ever-pretty.co.uk/products/v-neck-high-slit-empire-waist-floor-length-evening-dress-ee0168b?variant=42929843994811&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1p7rleHPAIVSbTtCh1wdQ8QEAQYFiABEgJ41fDD_BwE

The link for the burgundy dress 😊

If it's a church wedding and the couple are Christian then it's a matter of respect when being in the place of The Lord.
I'm pretty sure some Catholic churches in Rome ask that people cover their shoulders.

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune The "what difference does it make" crowd is either unaware or deliberately ignoring the fact that throughout humankind's history, clothing IS symbolic and what we choose to wear DOES send a message. And reflects on the wearer.
That holds in 2023 just as it did in 1823, 1523 and 23 BC.
Skimpy, strappy, thigh-baring dresses that expose lots of flesh are not appropriate for a daytime wedding, period. The wearer would look gauche, out of touch and attention-seeking at best. There is nothing wrong with toning down one's style to suit the occasion. And plenty of cute dresses out there that cover the shoulders and breasts.
What exactly would be a young woman's aim / intention in wearing a flesh-baring dress to a serious occasion like a wedding ceremony?

A good summation.

@AnonyMuse There is a dress code for Reeling and that dress doesn't qualify.

Try this : www.countryandtownhouse.com/culture/scottish-reeling/

I honestly thought these were fine. How can they be too dressy for a wedding?!

The point is, they’re not “dressy” in terms of being both stylish and appropriate for the specific occasion. They’re a bit vulgar.

What exactly would be a young woman's aim / intention in wearing a flesh-baring dress to a serious occasion like a wedding ceremony?

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune Writing this as the mother of a daughter that wore a mini black strapless dress to her cousin’s wedding I can tell you that the only aim/intention that she had was to celebrate with family a special occasion. Her cousin, the bride commented on how lovely she looked. Did anyone else talk amongst themselves, I don’t know. Was granny offended, she never said. She didn’t upset or upstage the bride and she wasn’t looking to bag the groom or one of the ushers. After reading a post on here about wedding attire (the one which everyone stated the dress was suitable for the beach and not a wedding) I messaged my niece to ask her whether she was upset or had any issue with the dress worn and she replied emphatically that she didn’t and went on to tell me how she had been at a friend’s wedding where a guest in a white/cream lace dress was asked to leave. If I’m honest and if she had shown me the dress beforehand I would have suggested something else but she met us there from university. There were no bad intentions or any aim on the part of my DD only naivety and do you know what, the sky didn’t fall in.

OP: many thanks for the link - much appreciated (and its much cheaper than I thought it would be!)
Ladyinpuce: thanks, but I'm confident that its absolutely fine for the uni reeling society - I've seen photos of the balls and most of them are wearing much less suitable dresses than the burgundy one referred to in this post.

@FamilyFunAdventure

You're so right - I can't believe people are taking it so seriously and making up intentions that are anything other than just wanting to look nice!

Is she going to show skin? She must be planning to try it on with all of the groomsmen

Well given its her uncles wedding, it isn't to lure the groom away is it?

Why can't young (and not young!) dress in a way that makes them feel beautiful without there having to be some alt reason - to make another woman feel shit, to steal the limelight, to bag a man etc.

I agree if it's church they need covered shoulders and bosom put of respect, and long satiny dresses is overkill for most English weddings, but I wouldn't have been mortally offended if my 20odd Yr old nieces had turned up looking hot and gorgeous

Assuming they're her age not her uncles, good look to her if she wanted to 😂

@AnonyMuse thanks, but I'm confident that its absolutely fine for the uni reeling society - I've seen photos of the balls and most of them are wearing much less suitable dresses than the burgundy one referred to in this post.

Yikes ! Plunging necklines and spilt-up-to-crotch dresses - really ?
The mind boggles at the amount of wobbling flesh that must be on show. 😳

Please never visit a city town after dark I’d worry for your heart.

@Patientlywaiting21
Please never visit a city town after dark I’d worry for your heart.

Relax Patiently, I've been there, seen it all and my heart is fine - my concern is for my purse.
I'm one of those dumb taxpayers who help fund the NHS and cover the cost of ambulances to deal with all the stupid
girls who seem to think that 'having a good time' means going out in as few clothes as possible, getting rat-arsed, starting fights or collapsing on the pavement in a puddle of their own vomit.
To say nothing of diverting ambulance crews away from people who are ill through no fault of their own.

Those are evening dresses, or prom dresses or at a push bridesmaids dresses.

For a wedding in Australia to be dressed up I would wear a floaty maxi dress with wedges and a small handbag/ clutch bag.

Beautiful dresses.

As a 21 year old, im not sure why Grandma needs to authorise her outfit.

My 3 DDs aged 18-20 were at their uncles wedding last summer.
2 of them wore Zara dresses that were a bit like shorter versions of the green dress in the OP, maybe not slit quite as high. They wore cropped cardigans for the ceremony.

the third wore a short floaty dress from Abercrombie with a blazer over it for the ceremony.

Other young people wore similar.

The Zara dresses were a bit like this more shorter.
www.zara.com/ie/en/satin-camisole-dress-p08741899.html?v1=237223601&v2=2184287

What this thread really shows up is how different society is. The long side slit dresses are evening dresses. So is it church or an evening do? It makes a difference. Smart classy weddings don’t do skimpy evening dresses on anyone in the day in a church. Weddings where anything goes are different and the two don’t mix. So pick which type of wedding is intended and dress accordingly. Even if you are 21. Don’t dress from Hobbs! There are great young adult shops with perfect outfits. If it’s evening wear and party central from start to finish, get out the bling, boobs and buttocks and go for it.

I think this is where English weddings get muddled tho. Big church wedding, so sensible outfit, cover the shoulders and boobs etc. Then on to a meal so again comfy and sensible. Then a disco / live band / dancing til 2 am for which the younger ones at least want to be dressed up.

Something like that dress but with a buttoned fitted jacket so it looks like a long skirt and a jacket might work for the transition but would be hot in summer.