Wedding guest attire

[honda1114]

NC as I know my MIL is on here!

BIL is getting married in the summer. A little while away, I know, but I have a household full of teenage girls who are obsessing excitedly about what to wear.

Showed one of the dresses my 21yo DD said she liked for the wedding, and MIL said it was far too dressy, and next to the rest of us (who don't even know what we're wearing yet) she will stand out like a sore thumb.

I didn't really know what to say to that as I thought a wedding was about as dressy as you get!

I have been to a few weddings but my DDs haven't been to any since they were small so they don't have a comparison and I can't say I can remember what girls of that age wore at previous ones Ive been to!

I'll attach pictures of dresses similar to what she liked. She doesn't want anything particularly clingy as she is a bit weight conscious (probably due to comments from MIL)

If you saw a young girl wearing a dress similar to these at a wedding would you think she was too dressed up? And if so, what would you expect someone of that age to be dressed in?

@BogRollBOGOF "21 is a wonderful age to make the most of your youth and enjoy the fun of dressing up for occasions"

Have you checked the Dress Code OP?

I think those dresses look a bit too like evening wear. Too much skin for a wedding.
Is the wedding in a church? I'd go for something like the knee length/midi dresses in Reiss, possibly with a little jacket or some kind of cover up.

Wow, I hadn't checked this thread since last night and have about 200 more replies...a lot attacking my daughter

Please I only wanted advice on what she should wear, not grown women calling her a prostitute and talking about her crotch....

Shocking replies OP - speaking about young women like that is horrendous and posters should take a long look at themselves.

That's gorgeous, wish I had the figure for it.

I hope I'm never at the weddings of any of the weirdos who have posted! And some of the dress suggestions!!! Jesus do people think she's in her 80's? The dresses you posted looked totally fine and would fit in at any wedding I have been to, and I have been to plenty over the years!

My daughter was 16 and chose a dress very like the second one pictured. I said gently that it was probably too dressy for the wedding we were attending but I was happy to support her looking gorgeous if she decided to choose it.

She did, she did look gorgeous, but she did stand out and the other guests dressed a lot more conservatively. She didn't cope well being the only one wearing a prom type dress.

My advice is to ask the bride. She'll have a better idea of the guests and the type of thing her friends might wear.

It might be totally appropriate for this particular wedding.

Gosh that's awful if PPs have been saying that!

All that's happened is that your DD wanted to dress up for the wedding as she wants to celebrate with the B&G and look her best but has over shot with an evening dress not quite suited to a wedding unless the wedding is black tie. Those dresses could potentially compete with bridesmaid dresses. Most weddings don't have guests outside wedding party in full length dresses so she can go cute and not overtly sexy (but a fitted body con dress might be lovely ) as long as it's not overtly low cut sexy

I'd suggest to her that she looks at knee or calf length dresses and a nice jacket or bolero depending on weather for the ceremony that can be taken off for evening do. And remind her that at a wedding all eyes should be in the bride and wedding party and though DD is clearly beautiful and has a nice figure to want those dresses , that she needs to blend in a bit more and tone it down.

Your MIL was right and very polite how she phrased it

My daughters are currently frequent wedding guests. They wear midi to maxi length dresses, patterned, assorted shoulder and slits depending on the dress, and have a shared collection of shawls, wraps and lacy cover ups, and handbags.
Dil wears some Hobbs things for work, shes early thirties.
I have some Phase eight clothes because they fit me! If i was 40 years younger, I would shop elsewhere. (Dorothy Perkins was great).

Having said that my Dsis wore a black lacy cut out body tight dress to my wedding with killer heels!!

Luckily I expected it and knew she just wanted to feel good and we are great friends anyway so I said "go for it slink your way up the aisle Sis!!" (She refused to be a bridesmaid!)

But for an uncles wedding - no.

Thanks, I’m not exactly model thin, but the full skirt and empire waist hid a lot of my flaws! On the website a lot of people had posted pictures of themselves wearing it and it really flattered all sizes.

I’ve read it all now. What difference does it make? It sounds like something out of Jane Austen or Debrett’s. It’s 2023 and we’re talking about a 21 year old. I think the church elders and grandma will be ok seeing shoulders before dinner.

OP @honda1114 i think they’re lovely dresses and if someone had worn either to my wedding it would have been fine. If you’re still unsure get your daughter to message the bride.

I like rules!
I think they look wrong from behind when you’re sitting down.

They would've been perfectly fine at my wedding last year (Can't believe it was last year!). I would ask the bride, it may well be that they're planning to have a dress code. We said to wear whatever you're comfortable in, but to have fun and express yourselves- this would've definitely been fun and expressing herself!

Maybe we just go to different sorts of weddings because the ones I go to people well under 40 would wear something like that and look gorgeous. There's a middle ground between shapeless and so tight everyone can see what you are for lunch, perhaps you prefer the latter?

Anyway, I'd go low back but longer skirt and sleeved so it's classy with a jacket for the day but ready for the evening.

I'm sure OPs DD will look stunning and there have been lots of suggestions for cool and slinky dresses for her uncle's wedding that don't quite look like she's unintentionally competing with bridesmaid or bride of wearing a full in full length evening gown! There's so Amy options for a middle ground of nice super cute a bit sexy and nicely turned out.

I think it's important to help our young adults and teenagers that a wedding has certain rules about not upstaging bride, not wearing white, not wearing a low cut short skirt clubbing outfit- none if which our wonderful young adult or teenage daughters and teenagers might know automatically. It's guidance not control as there nothing worse than finding out you pitched it wrong and stood out and accidentally upset anyone.

My youngest daughter had to go to a christening for her half sisters with no notice no warning and only had ripped jeans

She was MORTIFIED and so was I gif her as if my arse if an ex husband hee Dad had pre warned her we could have bought or found a nice dress to send her up with. He had had months planning it but spring it in her (he turns up twice a year with 24 hours Lori e and told her to catch train up to city 3 hours away) so it's not like she had any pre warning.
She still talks about it now how uncomfortable she felt as she was dressed so differently to everyone she was, and that was JUST a christening not a wedding

Sorry about the mistypes but Children/ teenagers and young adults remember if they are over or under dressed for important events

So it's helpful to pitch it right and have advice

Is that you Countess of Grantham?

You think shoulders look wrong? Shoulders?! I’ve also never heard of this rule because it does not exist.

This is more like it!
Can't believe all those other frumpy recommendations!

I agree. Most of those would be lovely.

Yes, not flattering when that’s all you can see - however fine your trapezius.
At worst, with a strapless dress, it can look as though you’re naked.

My younger DD used to wear ChiChi at late teen/21. They do smart clothes for young women pretty well at a decent price. Zara is worth looking at too. Also Mango.

I would just avoid too much boob exposure, too short and too overtly clubwear/sexy. Ask the Bride for guidance. Are guests changing for the evening do or not?

I see what she means. They're more black tie

These dresses are gorgeous ...